Friday, December 30, 2016


Do you know anyone who has had or has Alzheimer's ? 

It slowly robs you of your memories and then your life, it is horrible to watch.
Think about it for a second, what if you no longer recognized your wife or husband or kids or your mom or dad- you forget all the memories you made, the places you have been the laughs that you had. You have moments that you remember but they become fewer and fewer.
You get angry because you can not understand what is happening.

Do you know anyone that has had a house fire or flood or have you seen them on the news?
 The first thing that they are thankful for , hopefully, is that no one in their family was injured and the next thing that they say is that they loss all their photos and their memories. They do not cry over the couch or the TV that they loss but they cry over the loss of their memories.

Take the time to absorb your moments in the day and the loved ones around you.

We all have no guarantees in life so we have to grab each day given to us and make the most of it.

Make new memories, let the hate go - let the stress go- and look up, smile and be thankful.

Thursday, December 29, 2016


When will you be satisfied?

Remember when you turned 16 ? The whole world was out there and now you were given the keys to go explore- how cool, how exciting !

We were happy to drive anything ! It did not matter how old or what make or model it was, if it started up and could get you places it was spectacular. You were satisfied and happy.
Then we saved and worked ( or maybe mostly worked ) and we bought our own car, one that you could sit in and know that it was yours- you were happy and satisfied.

Then somewhere along the way you wanted to get that bigger car or truck or that fancier model , so you may have taken out a loan and now you found yourself mostly working to pay off your debt because you nee insurance now too.. and so it begins.

We can get so caught up in working for our things that we lose that feeling we had when was 16 and satisfied and excited just to be able to be us and to enjoy the simple things.

Less is more- my wish for you is to find the satisfaction and the simplicity of life once again.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016


“To laugh often and much,

To win the respect of intelligent people and affection of


To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure

the betrayal of false friends,

To appreciate beauty,

To find the best in others,

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy

child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition,

To know even one life has breathed easier because you

have lived.

This is to have succeeded.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

American Essayist, Lecturer, and Poet


Tuesday, December 27, 2016


“Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come.

Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction.

What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?

What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life?

What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career?

Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down - as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go.

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.”

Friday, December 23, 2016







Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas The Night Before Christmas,
 Arpin Style
’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

No one was angry, not even the spouse.

The air goods were stacked by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Arpin staff soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of new schools and new friends danced in their heads,

When out on the street I thought I heard a truck?

I sprang from the bed not believing my luck.

They were early! Yippee!

Ready to move all my family and me.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

What to my wondering eyes should appear?

But an eighteen wheel truck fully fitted with gear.
They pulled up in front and got out of the truck

A four person team plus one for good luck.

They all wore a uniform of Orange and Blue

Then introduced themselves and explained the move through

They moved with assurance and packed me with care

From the toys of young Timmy to Grandma’s old chair.

They loaded that truck and drove out of sight

Onto the road to travel a star studded night.

In trucks or in twenties, loose-loaded or in vans

When you move with Arpin you are in good hands,

From Mississippi to Alaska to Belgium and France

Don’t leave your precious possessions to chance

Hire Arpin for the job and get it done right

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Everybody's Talkin

Everybody's Talkin

Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind
People stopping, staring
I can't see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Through the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Banking off of the northeast winds
Sailing on a summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Through the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Banking off of the northeast winds

Tuesday, December 20, 2016


Priorities .. when you continue to remind yourself of what is most important to you and what your priorities are- it helps you focus and it should keep things in perspective.

Example- I had a driver that drove in our perm fleet, he lived in Philly and drove for one of our agents- he was a very good household mover and a nice man- he was also a devote Eagles fan and loved his football. His attitude and performance level would be effected by when the Eagles played and if they won. Being a fan of something is fine and can be healthy and fun but to allow it to effect your work is simply wrong. This man was in his 30's at the time so by then we hope to find our priorities.
In this man's case football was his passion but he allowed it to take preference and it did effect his work and drinking etc - He loss focus on what was really important.

It is very easy for us all to get distracted and sometimes we may be angry about something and rather then release it in the proper arena we funnel it elsewhere.

Try to think about what is most important to you- is it your family ? Your kids? Your friends ?
Whatever or whom ever it is try to stay focused on that and let the other stuff fall in line.

When you find yourself getting upset bring yourself back to why you are doing what you are doing.

Don't sweat the small stuff and remember most things are small.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Make Mistakes

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Spend More Time

Spend More Time
   The holidays are a time of celebration, and there is no better way than celebrating with family. Commit yourself to spending time with family during this season and letting it be a blessing to both you and those you spend that time with.

Have Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve and spend the entire Christmas day with your family. Either volunteer or get down on the floor with your kids and play with them, either way they will get the message that relationships are more important than performance.

Have your kids draw pictures, make cards and color pictures to send to family and the troops overseas.

Have your kids draw pictures, make cards and color pictures to send to family and the troops overseas.

Most kids today probably have never had homemade popcorn balls, taffy or candy, take the time to share your old fashioned favorites and family traditions

Christmas is a time to remember everything we have to be thankful for, not to find more things to regret.

If you are looking for a simpler Christmas then start by crossing off everything unimportant of your list and add in a few of the Old Fashioned Suggestions listed above.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Tips for a More Old Fashioned Christmas

Tips for a More Old Fashioned Christmas

Spend Less Money

1)      Set a Budget for Christmas – one that you can afford and stick to it.
2)      Make as Many of Your Gifts as Possible- if you do not know how to sew, perhaps you can make birdhouses or birdfeeders, there are thousands of ideas online for gifts that require no skill and are affordable to make
3)      Give Less Gifts-Stop looking at the lists, and the area under the tree and thinking it is not enough. Set a limit on the number of gifts you buy and stick to it. Give the gift of time and love instead.
4)      Invite Fewer People – Nobody says your home has to be the party of the year , every year. Nor do you need to host the entire family for Christmas and make everything yourself. It is ok to set limits on guests, spending and the amount of time and stress you are willing to invest.
5)      Stay Home – Do not plan long trips at the holidays, it makes them more stressful and expensive. You will find your holiday to be less expensive and more relaxing if you just stay home for the holidays.
6)      Have a Gift Exchange – Christmas gifts are really for the kids, but we all love getting a gift or two under the tree so hold an exchange among the adults in your family.
7)   Plan Free Activities – Play games, do puzzles, watch TV, go for a walk or listen to Christmas Music as you decorate or bake, it is a great way to get in the spirit and is free!

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

If the Fates Allow

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas

From now on, our troubles will be miles away
Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more
Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
So hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight

If the fates allow.. that is a powerful four word statement- none of us know what fate has in store so do not take a day for granted- tell that someone special in your life that you love them and make the best out of the holiday season-
Remember it is not about the gifts and the toys but about the moments !!


Tuesday, December 13, 2016


Tell it like it is with care:

Strong leaders say what needs to be said in a direct and straight-forward manner while saying it with care (and often kindness). They don’t make their message personal by tearing people down. Name calling and blaming have no part in the messages that a strong leader delivers. They listen to any opposition and are willing to change their mind or apologize when they are wrong.

Strong leaders aren’t forceful and controlling. They lead people well, which means they must gain their trust and respect by putting them first, lifting them up, making decisions together and being direct with care.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Lift Others

Lift all employees up to be stronger:

Strong leaders know without a doubt that the even the struggling individuals on their team have untapped potential.

 These leaders are able to help all employees to be more, do more, and feel good about it. They try their darnedest to find that sweet spot that will lift employees up to be at their best  before they consider any other options.

They develop, coach, and let their teams know what they are doing well, and gently but firmly guide them when they veer off course.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Put People First

Put people first:

 Strong leaders know that their ability to make a difference and impact the bottom line depends on the people who do the work. They readily build others up while knowing that those efforts also impact profitability.

 They give people the autonomy they deserve to do their job well, and coach them through the mistakes that will inevitably happen. Strong leaders don’t take credit for the work that others do; they humbly deflect praise back to those who deserve it.

 They care about the people who work for them and let them know in their actions.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Most of the Time..

Most of the Time..

I am strong enough not to hate

I try to stay away from gossip.

I do my best to lend a hand to someone in need.

I stay focused on the positive.

Most of the Time..

I try to forgive others.

I try to not weigh myself down with self guilt.

I am thankful for all I have.

That is most of the times.. all we can do is try stay conscience on the things we hold dear and to constantly remind ourselves. We are human and we all get defensive and angry and paranoid.

The idea and goal is to recognize when we do stray from - Most of the Time- and get right back on track.

We are all have our faults - as long as we sincerely try to hit our list of  - Most of Time-
We will be all right.

What is your list ?

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Gotta Serve Somebody

Gotta Serve Somebody

You may be an ambassador to England or France
You may like to gamble, you might like to dance
You may be the heavyweight champion of the world
You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes
Indeed you're gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody
You might be a rock 'n' roll addict prancing on the stage
You might have drugs at your command, women in a cage
You may be a business man or some high-degree thief
They may call you doctor or they may call you chief
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes you are
You're gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes you are
You're gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes you are
You're gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody

Monday, December 5, 2016

The Holiday Season

Here we are in another Holiday Season...
What does that mean ?
Holiday songs- gifts- dinners and celebrations !!
It can also be a very depressing time for many, suicides rise during the holidays, people can get sad and angry and depressed, alcoholism is very much a issue more so during the holiday season.
I am certainty not trying to be a downer but these are the facts.
Unfortunately through the years the more we have commercialized the holidays the worse it has become. Buy more - rack up those credit cards- and them become more in debt and more depressed.

I think that the social media certainly contributes to these feelings, everyone is always posting about how happy they are and the new toys they bought and others think - hey, why is that not me? Why do they have things and why are they happy all the time? Therefore they start to self reflect and think that they may be missing something and worse they start to blame others and get angry.
Trust me when I tell you that everybody has something they are struggling with, everyone has the family issues and the bills and mom or dad or sister or brother or spouse or friend that is struggling with medical issues.
You are not alone.

The holiday season should be a time when you just take some time to think about all you have not what you want and mostly who you have to be thankful for.

Life is hard and it will constantly throw curve balls at you,- That is Life - and if you think the other guy has it made think again.
 I hope and wish that all of you find that spot and take the time to simply exhale and slow down, even if just for a day or two and find peace within.
Do not let the acts of others define YOU-

Maybe start with just letting a grudge go and letting the hate and jealousy go.. the holiday season and life is what YOU make it.


Friday, December 2, 2016

Adapt and Change

In today's world in order to survive and succeed you need to Adapt and Change.
Everyone's business model changes almost every day thanks to technology and I do not care what business you may be in, trust me you are effected.

Ever sense the 90's and the computer the speed of which we do things and the technology that is at all of our fingertips has changed the way that businesses conduct their day to day and if not they are left behind.

A couple quick stories-

I have a friend that was the head guy at a major car dealerships in New England and was great at what he did he loved it, well about 5 or 6 years ago he was at the retirement age ( actually was around 68 ) and his dealership was switching over to do many of their day to day requirements by computer. Now this guy had been doing what he was doing for close to 30 years and did not like nor did he need the computer, it just slowed him down he said. The dealership was only going in one direction so he had to join the parade or retire. He chose retirement and has regretted it ever sense, he had plenty of good years left and he enjoyed what he was doing but he refused to adapt.

I myself was in the dispatch and moving business for over 25 years when I led the charge to computerize operations -  I was, and still am in a way, intimated with the computer. You have to remember that I was not with my present employer very long back in the middle 80's when we bought and used our first fax machine. We were all amazed as we watched this thin paper run through this machine and come out all curled up on the other end knowing that it was going to be received way off in another State. So you see we have come a long way since. I knew at a certain point that I had to adapt and I chose to get ahead of it and lead the charge to computerize operations. Now truth be told I preferred and still prefer the old fashion way , using paper and pencil, I had that down to a science and loved working that way but I knew that if I did not adapt and change it would run right by me.

We are still changing every day for each and every one of us in all walks of life and we all have a choice-
Adapt and Change or move on but remember this technology will move forward with or without you.
Try not to be intimated - try the unknown- embrace change- who knows you may even find that it improves parts of what you do- either way - it is your choice.

Thursday, December 1, 2016


Listen: Listening is a sign of respect; when you listen well, others feel appreciated and heard, even if you don’t agree with them.

Ask don’t tell: Your team wants to come up with their own solutions. Instead of solving problems for them, ask how they would solve them; this demonstrates that you hold their ability to think through dilemmas in high regard.

Follow through: Making a commitment to your team is one thing. Following through on that commitment shows that you care for and respect them.

Being truthful: Don’t mince words! When you tell it like it is, your team members feel included. Telling them what they need to know is a sign that you trust their ability to handle the truth.

Being clear: When you’re clear about the direction of your organization, it tells your team that you know they can move ahead and do what’s needed to reach goals.

Treating people equally: It’s all too common for a leader to have favorites on the team. Treating people equally doesn’t mean you treat them the same. It means you don’t “play favorites” while treating everyone similarly, showing that you expect everyone’s best.

 Tell them what they did right: So often, feedback is critical in nature. When you give your team positive feedback, they will feel respected for what they did and have confidence that they are on the correct path.

Stand out by being the leader who daily shows respect to their team..
It’s good for you, good for the team, and great for the bottom line.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Positive Thought patterns

Examples of negative thought patterns are:
  • Reviewing your day and lamenting what you could have said instead of what you did say
  • Wondering what others think of you
  • Reviewing your to-do list even if you have it written down in three places
  • Worrying about how long the line at the grocery store is going to be
The best way to stop a habit is to replace it with another one.  If you notice that your default mode tends to be negative, try substituting one of these positive habits:
  • Visualize a map pointing out everyone who loves you—and imagine beaming love at them.
  • Make a list in your head of everything you are grateful for. Be specific—for example, don’t just list “my health” if it is good; list all the things are great about being healthy: Your brain works well, enabling you to have an interesting job, and your knees work well, allowing you to practice yoga.
  • If you find yourself complaining about something, think of what your life would be like without it. For example, if you are annoyed about sitting at a long traffic light, think about the chaos and gridlock that would exist if the light weren’t there!
Your brain is always working.  Help it move in a positive direction that serves you—who you want to be and where you want to go. Just because life moves fast doesn’t mean it can’t be wonderful and meaningful and special. As you plunge headlong into the last month of the year, give positive thought patterns a try!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

The Golden Rule

Tough day ? Hard month ? Crazy year ?
Well join the parade.. you are not alone.
No one said it would be easy and it sure ain't.

What to do ?

Scale it down, do not think about all the bad and definitely do not take on other people's problems.
Remember the Golden Rule.. treat others the way you want to be treated.
It is good to have long range plans, like what you want to achieve in say the next 5 years but remember to live within the day, take a look around and appreciate what you do have and the people in your life.

You cannot control a lot of things but you can control how YOU look at your day, your job and your life and remember if you think you have the market cornered on bad luck or money issues or relationship problems.. think again.. we are ALL dealing with something.

So give a hand up - smile and remember the Golden Rule.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Being Thankful

Being Thankful is not just a one day a year thing but Thanksgiving does, or should, remind us to be thankful for so many things in our life's.

For one having a life- just being here - look around- look up - appreciate everything around you.
Of course around the holiday season we spend a little more time with family and friends and hopefully we use that as time to just exhale and be thankful to have them in our life's.

Yes, we have struggles and differences of opinions and we for the most part we probably work too much and end up chasing the almighty dollar too much but need to be sure we take the time to breathe and enjoy the simple things- Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans- don't make the mistake to let it pass you by.

When you look back each stage of your life is kinda a blur- your elementary school years , high school- your teenage years- your twenties- each decade takes on a new life and hopefully lessons learned. We learn more from our failures then our accomplishments , Lord knows I have.

So my wish and hopes for all of you is that you take the time this holiday season to enjoy the simple things and that you smile a bit more and hug someone that you care about and just say " Thank You " to someone who may have helped you on your journey or just someone that enjoy being with.

Remember we are all just visiting.. might as well Enjoy The Ride !

Monday, November 21, 2016

Working Class Hero

Working Class Hero-

As soon as your born they make you feel small,
By giving you no time instead of it all,
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all,

A working class hero is something to be,

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool,
Till you're so f$%king crazy you can't follow their rules,

A working class hero is something to be,

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear,

A working class hero is something to be,

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,

A working Class Hero is something to be and to inspire to - we all have a story to tell and some of us have a background that may have been tough or ugly- trust me we have something. So stop thinking the other guy is better then you are or smarter then you are and just relish the simple things.
Strive to just do a little good every day and be a working class hero.

Friday, November 18, 2016


My Church-
I’ve cussed on a Sunday
I’ve cheated and I’ve lied
I’ve fallen down from grace
A few too many times
But I find holy redemption
When I put this truck in drive

Roll the windows down and turn up the dial
Can I get a hallelujah
Can I get an amen
Feels like the Holy Ghost running through ya
When I play the highway FM
I find my soul revival
Singing every single verse
Yeah I guess that’s my church
When Hank brings the sermon
And Cash leads the choir
It gets my cold cold heart burning
Hotter than a ring of fire

When this wonderful world gets heavy
And I need to find my escape
I just keep the wheels rolling, radio scrolling
'Til my sins wash away
Can I get a hallelujah
Can I get an amen

Feels like the Holy Ghost running through ya
When I play the highway FM
Here is one of our drivers performing this song- ( just kiddin- but could be..give a listen )

Thursday, November 17, 2016


I recently spoke to a gentleman who had signed on to Arpin earlier this year as a driver and with the help of another Veteran driver he has been successful and feels as if he has found a home.
The veteran driver took him under his wings and mentored him and spoke honestly to him on a variety of topics and because of that they have both bonded for life.

Have you ever mentored anybody ?

Sharing what helped you through the years can benefit the next guy and I promise you that in the process you will learn something, if nothing else it will remind you of what is important.

Pay it forward.


Before becoming a mentor, here are a few things to understand about the role of mentoring. Most of us have had a teacher, supervisor or coach who has been a mentor to us and made a positive difference in our lives. Those people wore many hats, acting as delegators, role models, cheerleaders, policy enforcers, advocates, and friends. Mentors assume these different roles during the course of a relationship, and share some basic qualities:
  • A sincere desire to be involved with someone else's success and to better someone's life
  • Respect for people
  • Active listening skills
  • Empathy
  • Ability to see solutions and opportunities
  • Flexibility

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Lots of stuff

There is a lot of stuff going on, all over - so what to do?
When things get too noisy you need to quiet your mind.
Remember what is important to you and focus on that and on the people that are special to you.
Put your blinders on and your earplugs in and keep your head down and stay focused on your small circle and stop thinking and listening to everybody else's problems and concerns-
Why crowd your mind with somebody else's dirty laundry- life is tough enough- that said life is still a wonderful ride. Look around - smile- be positive and try to help someone today.
It's a wonderful ride - quiet your mind !

Tuesday, November 15, 2016


There was a farmer who owned an old mule and one day that mule fell into a dried out, abandoned water well. After assessing the situation carefully, the farmer reluctantly concluded that neither the mule nor the well was worth saving. He wasn’t happy about it, but what else could he do?

For the mule, the future’s not looking very hopeful

So, the farmer called his neighbors together and enlisted them to help him bury the old mule right there in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially the old mule was frantic, but as the dirt kept hitting his back, something happened. It dawned on the mule that every time a shovel load landed on his back, he should shake it off and step up! And that’s exactly what he did. Blow after blow that old mule would shake off the dirt and step up…shake it off and step up.

Persistence might just save the day!

No matter how painful the blows or how distressing the situation, the old mule fought the urge to panic and just kept right on shaking off the dirt and stepping up! It took awhile, but eventually his persistence began to pay of because with each step he was moving up ever so slightly.

Before long, the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly through the mouth of that well. What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him…all because of how he demonstrated persistence in the face of adversity.

When things start to look hopeless, choose persistence!

Such is life. If we face our problems and respond to them positively, refusing to surrender to panic, bitterness, or self-pity, the adversities that come along to bury us usually possess the potential to benefit us, but it’s only through persistence that we can realize that potential.

Monday, November 14, 2016

More on Mindset

6. Not staying present in the moment. If you’re always thinking of where you need to be next instead of staying in the moment, you lose out on precious time and valuable lessons. A constant forward push isn’t sustainable in the long term. It burns people out and will lead to low morale and low energy. Give everyone a chance to slow down and experience what’s happening now.

7. Expecting others to do what you’re unwilling to do. How many of us have encountered leaders with a mindset of entitlement—that things need to be about what others can do for them rather than how they can serve others? Entitlement is a dangerous mindset, one that disempowers and alienates people. If you want great people to stick around to serve you, you need to serve them.

8. Becoming so obsessed with details that you lose the big picture. There are always details that need legitimate attention. But great leaders know that to get bogged down in all the details and minutia is a waste of time, energy and productivity. Getting stuck in the details will cost you big-picture success.

9. Isolating yourself from others. Some leaders actually believe that leadership means immersing yourself in process and procedures instead of being among people. The mindset that a leader can’t let others too close is one of the most dangerous I have observed. Leadership is all about engagement and empowering others, and you simply cannot do it in isolation. Leaders need people and people need leaders.

 10. Having different sets of rules. The mindset that you can have one set of rules for yourself and another set for everyone else is disturbing and goes against the principles of service and recognition that leadership should be based on. It leads to disdain and disrespect.

 11. Holding an all-or-nothing orientation. Failing to recognize nuance and shades of gray leads to bias and distorted thinking. We need leaders who are flexible and agile, unafraid of what might go wrong and positive about what could go right. All or nothing is a dangerous and damaging proposition.

 12. Believing that you have to do everything yourself. You probably became a leader because you’re really good at what you do, but the truth is you never have to do everything alone. Great leaders delegate—which not only helps them but involves other people.

Thursday, November 10, 2016


Mindset is everything, and learning to control it is a key to fulfilling your potential..

Here are some of the damaging mindsets I have seen in leaders.

 Don’t let them stand in your way:

 1. Seeing the glass as half empty. Many leaders are guilty of this mindset. Some think that if they point out the bad, that will get people to improve—but we know a negative attitude will never lead to positive results. Nothing will slow your progress like a negative mindset.

 2. Thinking you know people better than you do. There is a danger in labeling people and putting them into a box when you haven’t had a chance to take in their complexity. How can you truly get to know people if your mindset has already told you who they are? Give people a chance to reveal, and sometimes surprise you with, who they are really are.

 3. Believing that perfect is a goal. Perfection doesn’t exist and perfect can never be a goal. When you aim to be perfect, you’re setting yourself up for failure—either by paralyzing yourself into inaction or by endlessly trying to reach an unreachable goal. Set perfectionism aside and focus on excellence.

 4. Thinking that you never need to rest. I know leaders who take pride in being constantly on. But we all need some time off, opportunities to shut down for a while. It is impossible to keep going 24/7 and still be the best you can be. You may think you can do everything and be everywhere, but really you can’t. Get some rest.

 5. Assuming that you accomplished great things alone. Anytime you think you’ve achieved something by yourself, you’re failing to give someone else the credit they deserve. There is no success on a team without the efforts of others, and when you as the leader take all the credit, it costs you respect. Make your language always US and WE, not ME and I.

More tomorrow

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

God Bless America

I am writing this post before knowing the results of our Presidential election.
No matter who wins I sincerely hope that as a nation we begin healing and working together, especially in the Senate and in Congress !-
 They need to set the examples on having good honest discussions and finding a way to compromise and move forward.
America is better than what we have shown the world- we need to stop being obstructiveness and start doing things again- we can do it and we need to start sooner rather than later because we have some major issues to tackle and we need each other.
Having a two party system is important - we need to have different opinions and points of views and then we need to be able to talk to each other and learn from the other person's points of view and come to a middle ground.
If our politicians are always in reelection mode we will get nothing done.
I truly hope we find a way.

God Bless America

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Know When to Take Charge and Back Out

Know When to Take Charge and Back Out

It’s good to take charge and head forward into the battle, but you’re not wise when you don’t know when the right time to back out is and when you should just leave things. When you’re working together as a team, you’re involving several heads in the same task and each one has their own ideas and approaches. Accept when someone comes with a better idea or is just better than you at a particular skill set. You might not always have all the answers, but just by enhancing their perspective and learning from your experiences, you can inspire others as well.

Great leaders exhibit their experience, accomplishments, and intelligence in their work by showing humility.

 They do not go around telling everyone repeatedly about themselves.

 What makes a good leader different? -Not the types who like to progress by pulling the legs of others to make them fall down and lag behind.
By communicating with everyone and letting them know their importance, you are also signifying that you’re open to discussions and always willing to listen and accept when you’re wrong as well.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Thankful people and success

So, what exactly is it about thankful people that makes them wired for success?

They have a loyal following.-

Leaders who are genuinely thankful for the talent, work ethic, and commitment of the people they lead and make a conscious commitment to show it, have a devoted following of employees and laborers who will always be willing and prepared to follow them into battle.

According to a Harvard Health Publications article that summarized the findings of several studies on gratitude, “Managers and crew chiefs who remember to say ‘thank you’ to people who work for them may find that those employees or laborers feel motivated to work harder.” Recognition is a powerful motivator that can build employee retention and increase productivity; however, a lack thereof can have an equally negative effect.

Results from a 2013 Gallup survey revealed only 45% of men and 50% of women are satisfied with the recognition they receive at work for their accomplishments.

 If an employee or laborer is putting in long hours and going beyond the call of duty to achieve your goals, but feels their extra effort is going unnoticed by you, what motivation do they have to maintain that level of work?

Friday, November 4, 2016

Do the Right Thing

The “Keep it Simple” approach is good for many situations, but keeping it simple will set you up for failure in ethics. Using an oversimplified approach to solving a complex ethical problem just means you leave out variables you should be considering.
5 Reasons a “Do the Right Thing” Message Isn’t Enough
  1. Nobody knows what it means
  2. Even though it is positive, it is too vague to direct good choices
  3. Everyone defines it differently, and acts on their definition
  4. Unless you painstakingly define what you mean by “do the right thing,” there is no common understanding of ethical expectations across the organization
  5. A vague definition can be used to justify unethical choices that “seem right” when you’re not using an ethical framework
“Do the Right Thing” is a wonderful starting point, but we need to define it in great detail. Otherwise, people will do whatever THEY think is the right thing, and that could pull your organization off course.
Ethical leaders don’t just ask people to “do the right thing.” They share examples of people who have done the right thing. They explain ethical performance standards that define “the right thing” and bring it to life in discussions about how to handle competing interests. This approach keeps everyone headed in the same positive direction.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

10 ways to be a leader people choose to follow:

10 ways to be a leader people choose to follow:

When asked a group to talk about the qualities of people they have gladly followed. Here’s a sampling of their responses.
  1. He saw things in me I didn’t see in myself.
  2. She cared about people and ran a tight ship.
  3. I was confident she had my back.
  4. He had competencies I aspired to gain.
  5. She’s always pressing forward.
  6. She gave me opportunities to talk.
  7. She was humble.
  8. He expected a lot out of me and himself. He walked the talk.
  9. He’s passionate to learn.
  10. They have good character. (Everyone nodded when character came up.)

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

10 leaders people choose not to follow:

10 leaders people choose not to follow:

  1. Tippy-toe leaders who live by fear.
  2. Hand-holding leaders who coddle rather than challenge.
  3. Finger-pointing leaders who never take responsibility.
  4. Face-saving leaders who protect their image at the expense of others.
  5. Butt-kissing leaders who change their behavior when top brass is around.
  6. Truth-shading leaders who bend the facts for personal advantage.
  7. Dark-cloud leaders who only see problems.
  8. Big-boss leaders who love telling people what to do.
  9. Glory-hound leaders who love praise and steal credit.
  10. Motor-mouth leaders who love the sound of their own voice.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Take a quick check in the mirror

Communication Goal: Developing new behaviors that open up lines of communication instead of shutting them down.

  • Listening Goal: Managing the tendency to provide solutions rather than ask open-ended questions from a curiosity perspective to promote self problem solving.
  • Executive Presence Goal: Learning how to manage emotions to increase confidence, credibility, communication, conciseness, and composure.
  • A quick check in the mirror is a good first step toward identifying and altering leadership behaviors that might be holding you back.

    Get going in the right direction.

    Man in the mirror...
    I’m gonna make a change, for once in my life
    It’s gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference
    Gonna make it right...
    As I turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat
    This wind is blowin’ my mind
    I see the kids in the street, with not enough to eat
    Who am I, to be blind? Pretending not to see their needs
    A summer’s disregard, a broken bottle top
    And a one man’s soul
    They follow each other on the wind ya’ know
    ’Cause they got nowhere to go
    That’s why I want you to know
    I’m starting with the man in the mirror
    I’m asking him to change his ways
    And no message could have been any clearer
    If you wanna make the world a better place
    (If you wanna make the world a better place)
    Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

    Monday, October 31, 2016

    Being tough

    When is being tough just being disrespectful?

    I will exercise my first amendment and my freedom of speech and voice my opinion here on the difference of being " tough " and telling people you could care less about their feelings and just being disrespectful.

    I have heard it throughout my years in business - people saying " I don't give a crap about what people think I say what I feel and do what ever I want and if they don't like it that's their problem".
    Is that being tough or disrespectful?

    I do not see the benefit of pissing off anybody- if I do not agree with them I may voice my opinion or I may not, it depends on the circumstances. I do not always need to be the loudest voice, as a matter of fact I prefer to be the quietest voice in the room. I prefer to listen and absorb and to try to find common ground.  The one thing I do know is that life is easier when you have allies and friends, if you can not be friends at least by trying to find a bridge it may make your job easier and you may even learn something.

    Shutting people down or shouting louder does not make a person tough nor does it make you right, what it does do is turn people off , so even if you had a valid point it gets lost.
    You may think you don't care but you do- otherwise why do you get so worked up?

    We all want to accepted and we all have different opinions , if we all simply listen and respect each other's opinion we may eventually find common ground.

    After all we are all in the same rat race- we all share the same space -
    I know that sounds like a fairy tale but you have to believe in something and have goals and I know that in my experiences when I have released my hate and lowered my shoulders and was the first to extend the olive branch good things happened and I could begin to SEE the other person.

    Friday, October 28, 2016

    7 Social Media Mistakes That Could Damage Your Career

    7 Social Media Mistakes That Could Damage Your Career

                 By J.T. Ripton
    Social media is booming with opportunities. For some business professionals, it could mean networking that will boost your career to new heights. For others, it could mean the end of your career. Don't be a part of the latter group. Avoid these seven social media mistakes.
    Complaining About Your Job or Boss
    Putting your complaints out there for the world to see is never the way to go, especially when you have something to say about your job or your boss. Even when you think your posts are safe from your boss, a colleague might be able to forward it to him or her.
    Even if that one comment doesn't hurt your job now, it could come back to haunt you later. A future potential employer might see it and decide that you're not worth hiring since you've badmouthed your employers in the past.
    Sharing Your Latest Job Offer
    The thing about job offers is that they're sometimes confidential. Just because you have the job offer doesn't mean it's a sure thing, and if you break that confidentiality right off the bat, your employer may see you as untrustworthy and revoke the job offer.
    Definitely don't say anything negative about the job offer! Mashable reports on a woman who posted, "Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work."
    Unfortunately, a Cisco employee saw the post. She lost the job before her first day.
    The typical career counselor might advise you to stay away from bikini pictures, drugs, and profanity to avoid losing your job. Forget about those little mishaps for a second and think about one of the biggest things that can damage your career: plagiarism.
    This is an important one, because plagiarism is completely unacceptable in the business world. It will follow you throughout your career, whereas a rant or two won't always prevent future employers from hiring you. Plagiarizing is like screaming, "I'm incompetent and lazy, and I lack integrity!"
    It's not just about keeping your professional accounts free from plagiarism, but you also have to hold your personal accounts to the same standards. Are you posting a photo? Give the photographer credit. Quoting an article? Cite the author.
    Using Texting Language
    It might seem like no big deal to use texting language on social media, especially when it's convenient while posting on your iPad Air or when you can't make your tweet fit otherwise. However, chances are you're better off spelling everything out. Otherwise, you could be losing jobs because of it. A Jobvite survey found that 66 percent of employers look negatively upon poor spelling and grammar on social media.
    Posting Tasteless Comments
    Any comment meant to offend another person or group could cost you your job. For example, CNN reports on an incident where a former Washington National radio show producer drunkenly tweeted an inflammatory and racist comment about the people of San Antonio after his team lost a game.
    Others on the radio show were not amused and fired him for his comment. Wherever you are on the Internet, avoid posting offensive comments like this, even if they're meant as a joke.
    Posting Photos With Alcohol
    Yes, even if you're over 21, this behavior could cost you your job. In 2009, a teacher named Ashley Payne posted a photo on Facebook of her visit to a brewery while she was on vacation.
    Naturally, she had a glass of wine and a beer in her hand. Due to a complaint from a student's parent, the school district suspended her. Steer clear of these photos no matter the situation.
    Mocking Your Customers
    Like complaining about your boss, mocking or complaining about your customers can have equally poor effects. Several Internet stories involve waiters who have taken photos of poor tips and posted them online only to get fired for doing so. Complaining about customers only shows your company in a bad light. Most employers won't stand for that, so avoid posting these types of complaints online.
    What types of social media mistakes have you seen that damaged someone's career?

    Thursday, October 27, 2016

    The Year was 1908- the last time the Chicago Cubs were MLB Champs

    The average life expectancy was 47 years.

    Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

    Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

    There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles

    Of paved roads.

    The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

    The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower

    The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.

    The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year

    A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
    A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

    More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .

    Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

    Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which

    Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '

    Sugar cost four cents a pound.

    Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

    Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

    Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used

    Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

    Five leading causes of death were:

    1. Pneumonia and influenza
    2. Tuberculosis
    3. Diarrhea
    4. Heart disease
    5. Stroke

    The American flag had 45 stars.

    The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!

    Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea

    Hadn't been invented yet.

    There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

    Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.

    Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

    Wednesday, October 26, 2016

    The Year was 1948- the last time the Cleavland Indians were MLB Champs

    World Series Champions:
    Cleveland Indians
    NFL Champions:
    Philadelphia Eagles
    NBA Champions:
    Baltimore Bullets
    Stanley Cup Champs:
    Toronto Maple Leafs
    U.S. Open Golf:
    Ben Hogan
    U.S. Tennis (Men/Ladies):
    Richard A. Gonzales/Margaret Osborne duPont, Dorothy Dandridge
    Wimbledon (Men/Women):
    Bob Falkenburg/Louis Brough
    NCAA Football Champions:
    NCAA Basketball Champions:
    Kentucky Derby:
    The Hotties, Sex Symbols and Fashion Icons:
    Lauren Bacall, Ingrid Bergman, Martine Carol, Ava Gardner, Betty Grable, Jane Russell, Gene Tierney, Lana Turner
    "The Quote"
    "Tonight, we have a really big show (pronounced shoe)"
    - Ed Sullivan
    "Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!"
    - Alfonso Bedoya, as Gold Hat, in 'Treasure of the Sierra Madre'
    "A diamond is forever"
    - DeBeers
    Time Magazine's Man of the Year:
    Harry S. Truman
    Miss America:
    BeBe Shopp (Hopkins, MN)
    The Scandal:
    Actor Rex Harrison's mistress, Carole Landis, commited suicide. His career survived, and his marraige to Lilli Palmer survived untl 1957.
    Nerd News:
    In an alternate reality, Dewey defeated President Truman for the US Presidential election. In this reality Truman won.
    The Ford F-series truck was introduced.
    Muddy Waters'1948 hit "Rollin' Stone" was the inspiration for a 1960's band a few decades later.
    (Hint: It was NOT "The Beatles", "The Who" "The Kinks

    Tuesday, October 25, 2016


    You can not serve if your EGO is in the way.

    Get over yourself and start looking around- take the day to actually help someone.
    It does not matter how big or how small- maybe it is just a smile and a help to someone who looks down, maybe it is a well placed thank you to someone who gave you a smile and a helping hand ?

    Your true reward is not monetary it is it serving others.

    If you are a successful household goods mover you know that feeling when you deliver your goods and see that relief and smile on the other end- you know that is why you decided to stay in the profession and that is where your memories will be.

    I have been with drivers walking in stores and people that they have moved years ago will pass them in the store and come up to them and smile and shake their hands and start talking about their kids or life in general. You have an opportunity to make that kind of impact- how fortunate are you?

    In the end people will not remember what you said or even what you did but they will remember how you made them feel.

    Get your EGO out of the way and look in front of you- and make a difference today !

    Monday, October 24, 2016

    Common Sense

    How important is common sense ?

    Some can make argument that common sense is more important then college degrees, now if you happen to have college degrees AND common sense even better.
    For some reason some people that I know that have a higher education seem to have lost the common sense gene,( unless they never had it to begin with).

    My mentor, Paul Arpin, did not happen to have a college degree or even a high school diploma , he had to leave high school to help support his family at the time. Paul was able to take a moving company that was mostly local and had a few trucks and grow it to one of the biggest household moving companies in the world. Of course his sons, David and Peter jumped on the mid eighties to help propel the company to the level that is now- but make no mistake Paul steered the ship for those important first few decades.
    Paul may not have had degrees on his wall in his office but he had common sense and a great business mind, mostly he had the drive and later felt great responsibility to do the best job he could not only for him and his family but for everyone.

    I sat in many meetings with Paul and watched and listened and learned. Paul would always arrange meetings with whoever he felt could help with the subject he was addressing at the time and he would always listen. Steering the conversation and eliminating the BS he would gather the information he needed to make his decision. Paul also had the best BS meter out of anyone that I ever met, if you did not know the answer you were best to just admit it , say you will find the answer- find the answer and return at that time but for heaven's sake do not try to tap dance your way out of it.
    The thing is once you know that someone is a bull shitter your trust diminishes and seeing that there is so much time in the day Paul did not have time to invest in those people so they usually found themselves on the outside looking in sooner rather than later.

    When I joined Arpin in 1985 they were a 7 million dollar company and they are now a company of over 200 million.

    As they say if you want to be successful watch and learn from those that are successful.
    I have learned a lot here at Arpin - in short I have learned the common sense trumps all and that treating others with respect will help form the allies that you will need to stay successful..and happy.

    Friday, October 21, 2016

    Take a Breath

    Do yourself a favor and during the course of the day take several deep breaths.

    Just stop and try to remember to take in a few real deep breaths and try to relax your mind.
    Our minds are in constant motion and sometimes we just need to take in the moment and breathe.
    While you are breathing in try to relax your body, start with your toes and work your way up. You will be surprised that if you concentrate on doing this you will find your body tense. I do it and every time I find my feet and toes curled up without even knowing it and my shoulders tense.
    By trying to remember to take in deep breaths and relaxing our bodies we will start to try to relieve ourselves of our daily stress.

    Life is what happens to us as we are busy planning and worrying and before you know it is has just passed you by. Accent the positive- be the change maker- try it.
    Try smiling the next time you call someone, yes they can actually see and feel your smile over the phone, and I do not mean skype. People can sense when you are genuine and they can sense when you are tense or angry.
    You will always be received better if you approach a person positively- therefore you will accomplish more and in the end you will feel better about yourself.

    That is what it is all about isn't it ?.. Trying to find that happy place ?

    Breathe in .. hold it ..then release ..and repeat.

    Wednesday, October 19, 2016

    Passionate about life

    Passionate about life

    You also need to be passionate about your personal life. Tony Robbins simply says, “Live with passion!” This includes all areas of your life. The danger is that leaders can spend so much time and energy at work that they can easily forget to be passionate about their personal life. Being passionate about work and your personal life needs to coexist if you want to be a passionate leader. It’s difficult to show or have passion at work if you fail to be or have passion in your personal life.

    There are practical ways for you to increase your passion in your personal life. The first suggestion is to take at least 1 day per week to rest and relax. When you spend time relaxing it allows your passion and energy level to recharge. You can’t always be going and expect to have passion. Passionate leaders need rest if they want to remain passionate. The second suggestion is to find and participate in activities, hobbies, and events you enjoy doing. During your days off do things you enjoy or have a passion for doing. These things will allow your passion to skyrocket.

    Tuesday, October 18, 2016

    Passionate about work

    Passionate about work

    Leaders need to be passionate about their work. You should take time to identify the aspects in your leadership role that you enjoy doing. These are the things that motivate you to arrive at work on a daily basis and captivate your attention while at work. Start the process by finding and focusing on your areas of strengths. Your enjoyment level and strengths are closely connected with each other. When you consistently work in areas of your strengths your satisfaction and enjoyment level will increase. This allows your passion to shine brightly through.

    At the same time you should avoid or delegate the tasks that leave you drained or unfulfilled. These have the potential to be passion deflators. Spending most of your time in these areas will drain your energy and passion. Make sure to spend at least 80 percent of your time doing the things that you enjoy and are passionate about while spending 20 percent of your time on less enjoyable tasks. Increase your passion at work by focusing on your strengths or areas you enjoy working in while limiting the areas you despise or don’t like.

    Monday, October 17, 2016



    The key is careful planning. Careful is the operative word in that sentence. For procrastinators, planning isn’t usually a problem. They love planning because planning involves not actually doing! Procrastinators’ plans often have little actual thought, are vague or open-ended, and can lack detail or direction. Instead, you’ll need to make a detailed plan. The following steps will guide you.
    1. Establish the objective.
    Specifically identify what you want to achieve. You may be familiar with the concept of SMART goals—but if you aren’t, here’s a link to a previous blog post from David Witt. When you know exactly what you want to achieve, you’ll be able to lay out a clear path on how you want to get there.
    1. Prioritise what you want to achieve, putting the most important task first.
    As a leader, you’ll need to balance your priorities with the priorities of the team. It’s really easy to establish a list of 15 things to do and then have no idea where to start because they all seem equally important. So first identify the things you need to do. Remember that priorities evolve as you move forward on your tasks. Therefore, you’ll need to review your and your team’s priorities from time to time to see if they have changed.
    1. Gather the information you need to make a decision.
    Having relevant information means that you’ll be able to justify and explain your decision when the time comes. And the more information you have, the more confident you’ll be in making that decision. Don’t lose sight of your objectives here. It’s easy to fall into a trap and think you can’t make this decision because you don’t have all of the information. Don’t put off a decision because you’re waiting for arbitrary details.
    1. Consider all of the sensible options and select the best one.
    With any good plan, there are likely to be a number of choices you can make. Identify your options and remove those that aren’t logical. Then choose the best option—the one that is going to help achieve your objectives whilst meeting your priorities.
    1. Take action.
    This is the hardest part—but now that you’ve clarified your decision, you’ll find it easier to take action. You’ve established a clear and sensible path to achieving a specific outcome instead of our procrastinating leader’s vague, open-ended to-do list.

    Friday, October 7, 2016

    Dead Weight

    "Dead Weight"
    Song lyrics written by Crystal Bowersox-
    If it's meant to be
    Baby oh just let it be, let it bee
    Don't go beating dead horses,
    Keep steady your course, you'll see
    Sing our lullaby,
    All things impossible in being nice
    Dreams don't take to your soul,
    It's the only thing no one can take

    And if you don't know, I'll tell you
    Just take down your load and wipe your frown
    If you're holding on to dead weight
    It's just holding you down
    Oh you're gonna sink or swim,
    You better let it go now
    Let it go now

    Hear my lover's side,
    Lying on a nothing set in black and white
    Oh but as I get older,
    Each moment means more than the last
    So I say we waste our time
    On cigarettes and cheaṗ red wine
    We'll sing well into the night,
    That light will be coming up fast

    And if you don't know, I'll tell you
    Just take down your load and wipe your frown
    If you're holding on to dead weight it's just holding you down
    Oh you're gonna sink or swim, you better let it go now
    Let it go now
    Let it go now

    And if you don't know, I'll tell you
    Just take down your load and wipe your frown
    If you're holding on to dead weight it's just holding you down
    Oh you're gonna sink or swim, you better let it go now
    Oh, let it go now
    Let it go
    Let it go
    Let it go
    Oh, let it go now
    Let it go now

    Thursday, October 6, 2016

    Keep Your Cool

    When you encounter those that - Blame-  keep your cool.
     Because when people are blaming others they are doing so because their conscious mind are afraid to confront themselves as it stimulates a pain in their brain.
    A simple example would be, when someone cooks for you, you eat it and find it tastes bad, still you eat and complain that it tastes bad!
    So, what would be a better decision, one would be, To not eat it and tell truthfully it tastes bad! or to eat it although it tastes bad.
    The people who always blame others are in middle of the two possible solutions. And these people are often confused, depressed and worried. So, rather than being angry, take a profound look at their daily lives and you will find their problems.
    Delve into their problems, and feel their emotions, and if they want a suggestion, help them. If you don't like them as much, leave them be. Because there are lots of things in this world that you can put your thoughts to.

    Wednesday, October 5, 2016

    The Blame Game

     The "blame game" is a form of narcissism.

    Learn a bit about this condition before you implement any plan of action as this may influence how you decide to handle this situation -

    A few points to consider.-

    1) "blamers" often do this as a defensive mechanism because of their own insecurities.

    2) Blaming can be a form of control. For people who blame, it’s a way of avoiding external repercussions and  blamers seek something from their victims, whether it is emotional,  monetary, fun, reassurance or psychological stability.

    3) the act of blaming can be a difficult behavior to change because it can become very self perpetuating when it is reinforcing itself in the blamers mind each time the tactic is used.

    4) often, when thing really bother us about others, it is because it reminds us of a personal flaw so make sure you are not acting on your own insecurities. (great rule of thumb, first seek to fix yourself.)

    Tuesday, October 4, 2016

    Develop a Attitude of Gratitude

    Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

     If you want to be truly present and benefit from appreciating your daily life, you must develop an attitude of gratitude.

    The habit of feeling grateful and expressing that gratitude to other people, by saying “thank you” to those in your life, and to yourself for all of the wonderful things in your life every day will have amazing effects on your personality, and your ability to live in the present.
    An attitude of gratitude makes you a warmer, friendlier, and more genial. An attitude of gratitude makes you more sensitive and more aware of others around you and your environment.

    The more gratitude you have, and the more gratitude you express, the happier and brighter your life will become.

    When we are thankful to others and express a wonderful attitude to those around us on a regular basis, we can change the lives of others as well as our own.

    Start each morning by saying, “I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today.”

    Repeat it over and over.

    Monday, October 3, 2016

    How to deal with " Blamers "..

    So, how do you deal with people who " blame"..

    1) talk to the person, ask them why they feel others are to blame in specific situations, consider their answer. Is there ANY truth to how they see the situation? Believe in your instinct and common sense and ask yourself if you are really to blame in a situation where you are being blamed.

    2)Let them know how it made you feel, when they blamed you for something that you felt was not your fault or was out of your control, avoid whether they were "right" or "wrong" as that is only your opinion and it will be a very difficult battle to "win".

    3) Have a good sense of yourself and how you feel. Remember that if you can see the behavior as anti social, others will as well.
    You do not need to be the enforcer, sometimes the best course of action is to simply remove yourself from the situation and leave the affected parties to fight their own battles. Blamers can have a negative effect on the people around them, but their true power comes from the people who allow them to disrupt and influence their lives.

    4) Consider putting extra distance between you and the blamer, you can not force change on others, but you can change yourself. Relationships of this nature are often just a one-way street where you  put a lot into it but the reciprocal feeling is only an  illusion.

    Seek relationships with people who believe in you and support your ambitions.

    Become Self Aware

    It’s very easy to get completely caught up in planning for the future, that we often forget to take the time to appreciate the wonderful things happening in our daily lives.

    Become Very Self-Aware

    The first thing you can do to live in the present is to become very self-aware.

    To perform your best, acknowledge the beauty of your life and be happy, you need to know who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. You are where you are and what you are because of yourself.

    You have gotten yourself to where you are as the result of the choices and decisions that you have made in the past.  If you want to be somewhere else in the future, it is up to you to make new and better choices and decisions in the present.

    Friday, September 30, 2016


    Gotta know when to hold em and know when to fold em

    Choose your fights and choose wisely- how important is it ? Could you have made the same mistake or have you ? Will it solve anything in the long run or will it just be you venting?
    Sometimes it is best to just move on then to confront every error.
    If you are truly bringing it up as a life lesson then fine- then I would say watch your tone and approach or you will just create conflict.

    Always work toward building a bridge and sometimes when the other person knows they messed up and you help solve the problem rather then blame them they will acknowledge that and who knows someday down the road they may return the favor.

    We are all in this together people....

    Know when to hold em

    Thursday, September 29, 2016


    Preparation is Perfection..
    Or at least it gives the best shot at it.

    We all know that things never go according to plan so it is very important to prepare and plan for all possibilities.
    The best and most successful coaches know this and they have their team prepared for all kind of scenarios. You have to do the same with your work day.
    Think of what could be and what could happen and have a plan B and a plan C.
    Try to remain calm and being prepared helps you to do that too.

    Preparation is Perfection

    Tuesday, September 27, 2016

    Don’t Abuse Your Authority

    Don’t Abuse Your Authority

    Another misconception is that a leader is always obeyed, that people will hear you and do as they were told. This couldn’t be more wrong.

    It is understandable if you feel frustrated after spending hours talking someone out of a bad move, and they end up doing it anyway. You were well prepared and made a point of using your time to see trends and predict failures. They came to you in the first place, so why didn’t they follow your ideas?
    The thing is that you are their leader, not their parent. They are adults fully capable of making their own decisions.

    Plus, they have all the right to make mistakes and learn from them – you probably have learned a lot from your mistakes, so why take the same opportunity away from them?

    Remember that you work within limits decided by your followers, not by you.

    Monday, September 26, 2016

    Open Your Ears

    Open Your Ears

    Sometimes, people don’t want any advice. They just want to be listened to. There is nothing better than to be listened to by someone who is seen as a leader. People are relieved; it is like a certification that they aren’t going mad, that their troubles are worthy.

    You should be prepared to sacrifice your ear for the happiness of your followers. Be prepared to invest in your listening skills and to be the best at listening.

    Remember that listening is not the same as hearing. People can easily spot if you are just pretending to give attention to them. It is not as hard as you think, even if they don’t know you well.

    If this isn’t among your strengths, don’t despair.

     Start training yourself not to get impatient and to ask encouraging questions. It will pay off as soon as you start doing it.

    Friday, September 23, 2016

    Eliminate Your Pre-Conceptions

    Eliminate Your Pre-Conceptions

    Your pre-conceptions are another thing that you will have to sacrifice to become a leader. If you think that you already know everything, you will stop learning, and soon all your ideas will become obsolete.

    Plus, you will find hard to relate and support people, if you dislike some of them due to some hidden prejudice of any kind. If you discover that you have any of these feelings within yourself, you should look for a way to change your mind as soon as possible.

    Adjust your mind to be flexible and to understand that, even though you have your own principles and values, some people might feel things differently.

    There is nothing wrong with that. As a leader, you can’t be asking them to change their beliefs only with the purpose of agreeing with you.