Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Figure it out

If you want it, figure it out.
Growing up I was not poor , but we never asked our parents for anything because we just understood that there was not enough money. My two sisters and I grew up in a small house in a woodsy rural area of RI, it was a three bedroom house that back then growing up seemed plenty big enough, in retro respect the rooms were very small.
As I said we just never thought about asking our parents for anything and when I was a young teenager I wanted a weight set to begin working out. My cousin had given me an old pellet gun, a pump pistol actually. One of my neighbors down the street a few years older then me had a set of weights he was willing to trade for my pellet gun so I gladly made the trade.
Getting them home I now needed a bench for the weights , we had a basement in our house and we had a old dining room and chairs down in the basement so I made a bench using a chair and some planks of wood and rugs. I took tape and made two rolls on the chair so I could rest the weight bar on it , then I stacked three planks and wrapped an old rug around them. I slid the planks under the chair and was able to lay on the planks under the chair and use it to do my presses.
I figured it out.
I did not need new and I did think twice about having to lay on planks , I did not think I was sacrificing or was jealous of anyone out there with a fancy bench , I did not know any better.
If you want something bad enough just figure it out.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Character

Character Counts.

Way back in the 80’s I started dispatching drivers for a household goods company, I also was freshly married and was starting a young family.
I was at work and back from a lunch break when I saw an envelope on my desk, I opened it to find a $100.00 dollar bill. I asked the dispatcher who sat in back of me where it came from and he said driver Rufus dropped it off.
I immediately took the envelope and went outside looking for Rufus, I found him in the parking lot near the warehouse and called to him and gave him back the money.

He apologized and said he meant nothing by it and he just wanted to thank me, I told him that if I accepted the money it would not look right and it would not be fair to him. I told him that he was a good driver and I was going to do my best to load him good because of he was a good driver and if I took the money he would think it was because of that he was getting loaded.
Now back then having a young family and just starting my job a $100.00 was more like $1000.00
And I sure could have used it, I was struggling to pay my bills and buy oil to heat my home but I never for a second gave keeping the money a second thought, I knew it just was not right.

I do believe Rufus meant right, that is just how he grew up in the business, he was about in his late 50’s then maybe even his early 60’s and he was your typical over the road driver that grew up in the 50’s , he was from down south and as tough as they come. Once Rufus cut himself on the job, a pretty good open wound, he found some turpentine in the garage poured it on the cut , wrapped it with packing tape and went back to work. Now that may be an urban myth but that was the story that was told, and knowing Rufus I believed it. He was on the road most of his life and made a lot of friends and a lot of memories and customers loved him.

Rufus and I remained friends for many years, even after his retirement.
I went on to become Senior Vice President of Operations and met and worked with many great hard working drivers and I enjoyed each and every experience and learned from them all.

Character Counts.

Friday, February 23, 2018

Stability

Don’t chase money... chase stability.
If you always base your decisions on just money you will get frustrated and in that frustration you will always be stressed.
When you looking for a career you should be looking to work for an organization with stability, and if you do your job and continue to learn and grow the money will follow.
In today’s business world I see a lot on instability, organizations with management issues and leaders with little knowledge of the nuts and bolts or leaders with a very little moral compass... if this sounds familiar- run do not walk.
The problem is two fold-
1- Change is difficult
2- They will tell you what you want to hear even though you are living a different reality
You can only truly succeed if you give it your all and you can only truly give it your all if you enjoy what you do and who you do it for.
Therefore seek stability over money... then work to prove yourself and enjoy every day !

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Life is Like a Roller Coaster

'Life is like a roller coaster' by Alex Schachter

Life is like a roller coaster
it has some ups and downs
Sometimes you can take it slow or very fast 
It maybe hard to breath at times
but you have to push yourself and keep going
Your bar is your safety
it's like your family and friends
You hold on tight and you don't let go
But sometimes you might throw your hands up
Because your friends and family will always be with you
Just like that bar keeping you safe at all times
It maybe too much for you at times -- the twists, the turns, the upside downs
But you get back up 
you keep chugging along
eventually it comes to a stop
you won't know when or how 
but you will know that'll be time to get off and start anew
Life is like a roller coaster

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Winning

Watching the olympics it reminds me how it is more about the journey then the winning.
Don’t get me wrong they are all after Gold and it is what drives them but at the end of it all they all with carry with them the memories of the people they met, the places they seen and the friendships they made. They exercised and dedicated themselves to be the best they can be and that is all we can all ask of ourselves.
Our true reward at the end is learning and striving to be the best person we can be and the experiences and the people we meet in our journey are all part of our growth, if we allow it to be.
If we get so hung up on just winning and do not open our eyes and ears to the world around us on the journey it would be complete hollow victory.
Enjoy every day and try to not get caught up in all the noise and that climb up the so called ladder, look around, lend a hand , do something that brings a smile to someone today.
Those are the memories that are true Gold.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Speak from the Heart

Speaking out can be difficult and intimidating, my advice is-
Speak from the Heart
Taking to your boss and taking a stand or asking for a raise is hard-
Speak from the Heart
Being in a group meeting is challenging, you do not want to ruffle any feathers, especially in today’s world it is increasingly difficult to have debates or take another side without it becoming ugly and divisive so what do you do? It is easier to keep quiet because you have you raise your hand or your head you may get smacked down and who needs that BS ?
The problem is if we can not share thoughts and compare our positives and negatives we will lose, we will lose a chance to improve and learn , we must be able to exchange ideas without the reprucussions  of being attacked or belittled.
I always try to approach each day knowing that I absolutely mean no harm to anyone and I want to try to always better myself and hopefully do some good. In order to do so I try to speak out when necessary but I always try to speak from my heart and most of all I try to listen.
In can be difficult because if you do not approach things correctly or say something the wrong way you may hurt some feelings. It is human nature for people to automatically get defensive, both with themselves and their circle of people around them so remember that before you type out a response or speak out. You can nothing by just speaking out to make your point but losing any possibility of a true and valid exchange.
Speak from your heart and never try to be malicious and for goodness sake... listen.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Family

I still believe that our strength and survival as a country comes from the Family.
It all begins at the home.
We look for answers outward and we struggle to understand why our kids are grasping for attention and why some may have attention deficient dis orders ... look inward.
We wonder why kids are lonely or turn to the internet or groups on the internet... look inward.
Kids need a family unit, they need a grown up in their life and like all us they need attention and love and hugs.
This new generation trades in what our kids need most for currency... their time. Kids need your time, not a new barbaque grill or that new car.
Until somehow we get back to understanding that our most precious thing on our earth is our children I think we will continue to slide as a society.
The foundation of our lives are built in the first 8-10 years , that is where our kids need our time and our love and need to see the family unit in action and these are the years that they are dropped off to be watched at a day care with another dozen or more kids. Some are put into a cubicle , just like the ones that will handcuff them when they grow up and work.
For goodness sake, allow our kids to be kids, it is such a wonderful time of our lives. We see things with such wild innocence and all we want to do is smile, laugh, learn and love. We need to embrace that, nuture that - Family.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

This is me

I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are
But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades and
Reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become)
I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

Lyrics from the song... This is Me


Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Who is important

Who is important in your life today ?
Everyone you say hi to !
Stop and look at the person in front of you, smile and listen.
We can learn everyday and from everyone, when you take the time to actually watch and talk to the people around you it is astounding what you learn.
I know a lot of people in business that look right past you, they walk by you every day and never even acknowledge your existence... what a waste. The same person when they need something from you will stop and flip you that fake smile , they are an empty vessel.
Do not just look at the people around you when YOU need them , take the time to care and spread a little positivity. Remember everyone is going through something and this might be the day that need a friend.
Be kind.
Today do not make it about yourself.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

News

Where do you get your news ?
We are living in a new world, since the explosion of the internet we are all getting news from many sources and groups.
How do you know if it is factual?
Who is the source? Is it a group ? Is it even a person ?
We are going through a revolution much like the world saw back in the 1500’s with the invention of the printing press. It opened up a whole new world of communication and that is what we see now.
Technically is very powerful but how we harness it will dictate how we get our news.
If all we do is get the news and information from our little circle we will never learn or hear the other side and that creates walls and tribalism.
I try to read from people I may disagree with as much as the ones I may agree with and I certainly try not to dislike someone because we may disagree.
To learn we must be able to talk and disagree, that said we need to get past the he said, she said and separate the facts from the accusations.
This is a very important time in the world and we need to stay involved and for heavens sake we need  to listen and research and consider the source.
Where do you get your news?

Monday, February 12, 2018

Letting go

Why is letting go so difficult for so many ?
Good employees do not always make good managers because it is a whole new game.
A lot of people have difficulty delegating and training , as “ good” employees they took on the task at hand and did their job and most likely did it well but now as managers they need to take that same philosophy that made them successful and train others.
Sounds easy- right?
Then where is the disconnect? I have seen more failures in this area over the past four decades of my business experience then any other? I have seen very good employees promoted only to watch them fail miserably as a manager.
From what I have seen the successful employee most likely has a type A personality and they take control but being a type A personality they have a tough time “letting go” therefore they end up taking on more of the responsibility rather than delegating.
I get it, sometimes it is easier to just do it but but doing that you are cheating those around you of learning and you will become overwhelmed.
Some people keep it close to them because of insecurities, they think if they train the other guy too good they might come for their job so they train them to be more clerical then to think for themselves.
That philosophy will destroy you and those around you.
To be a good manager or boss you must learn to let go and then you must learn to train and remain in the circle while giving others the responsibility and the praise.
Not every good worker or employee is a good manager .

Thursday, February 8, 2018

I Hope

lyrics from song - I Hope:

Sunday morning, I heard the preacher say
Thou shall not kill
I don't wanna hear nothing else about killing
And that it's God's will 
'Cause our children are watching us
They put their trust in us
They're gonna be like us
So let's learn from our history
And do it differently 
I hope for more love, more joy and laughter
I hope we'll have more than we'll ever need
I hope we'll have more 'happy ever after'
I hope we can all live more fearlessly
And we can lose all the pain and misery
I hope, I hope 
Oh, Rosie; her man - he gets too rough
That's all she can say: is he's a good man
He don't mean no harm
He was just brought up that way 
But our children are watching us
They put their trust in us
They're gonna be like us
It's okay for us to disagree
We can work it out lovingly 
There must be a way to change what's going on
No, I don't have all the answers 
I hope for more love, more joy and laughter
I hope we'll have more than we'll ever need
I hope we'll have more 'happy ever after'
I hope we can all live more fearlessly
And we can lose all the pain and misery
I hope, I hope 
I hope, I hope, I hope

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Monday morning quarterbacking

I do not mind working or taking on responsibility, what I do Mind is - Monday morning quarterbacking.

The term comes from people questioning calls that were made in Sunday football games on Monday, mostly by people that have never even played the sport and most certainly not on the level of professional football, yet they know better.

The same in the work place, I do mind criticism and I certainly do mind suggestions or help but if you do not have any involvement beforehand and you do not even know why decisions are made then I have a problem.

If you want to Monday morning quarterback then at least show up for the practices before the game.

Learn what the process is and how the decision effects the other portions of the process and how the decision may effect other people.
To just jump in after the fact and to openly criticize is not right , ask the question by all means but ask it in the manner to better understand and unless you have a better suggestion then you are best to keep quiet.
And remember it is also easy to Monday morning quarterback when you are not in the heat of the moment and decisions need to be made at that time and in that moment.

I will take a worker in the field who does their best and is in the game and may screw up over the person who is sitting on the sidelines trying not to get dirty every day of the week.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Priorities

You need priorities in life to help create your compass.

If you know what your priorities are in your life then you can map out the rest.
For me and my wife it was always our kids and our family, they were and always will be our priority.

My wife was 18 when we were married and I was 24 , neither one of us had a higher education but we were hard workers and we loved each other so we could figure the rest out as we went.
We enjoyed each other and care less about material things , our dining room table was my folding poker table and folding chairs and were fine with that. Three years later we had our first born, a beautiful baby girl so we figured we should have a house so with no money at all and while my wife was pregnant we bought our first house , not knowing too much about how we would financially do it we dove in because we knew what our priority now was, to raise a family and to give our kids all the love and opportunities we could.

We had some very tough times financially but we loved every minute, we had winter months that I did not know how we were going to pay for the heat or put gas in our car but we plowed ahead singing and bouncing our baby along the way.

We added a son in 1988 and enjoyed watching our kids grow up along with our dog , we had our share of issues and rough roads with surgeries on our young daughter, health issues with our son and the loss of my wife’s mom at far to young of age but through it all we kept to our priorities- our family.

We still lived paycheck to paycheck but our kids now were entering college but we prioritized their education and somehow we did it, we did not want to burden them with the expense of college so we figured it out...somehow.

Looking back we laugh and scratch our heads on how we made it , our car was always used with problems like windows leaking or needed a jump in the morning and we never could afford to go out for a dinner and forget about a vacation but it was ok , we never thought about it and never really ever thought we were even sacrificing-
We just knew what was our priority and we loved each other and loved every day.

And fast forward to 2018 and our kids are grown and married with kids of their and own and my wife of 37 years and we still have the same priority- our kids, our son in law and daughter in law, and our grandkids- OUR FAMILY.

What is your priority?





Monday, February 5, 2018

Underdogs

The underdog is always a good story.
The movie Rocky was such a great success because it is the story of a street fighter that no one believed in and he had to go up against the champion ... and he won.
In a similar fashion the football team Philadelphia Eagles did the same last night, they were the underdogs playing against the champion... and they won.
It was a theme of the underdog and the back up, the MVP and the winning quarterback was a back up who played for a head coach that was a backup quarterback when he played and the quarterback coach was also a backup quarterback when he played... and they all stepped up and won.
Sports always has a lot of lessons and in football it is a team sport, these underdogs won because the team believed in themselves, there was a bond that transcended through out their year and carried through all the bumps and curves.
Team- bonds- and believing in yourself and the people all around you.
Success just doesn’t happen and you cannot succeed by yourself... believe.


Friday, February 2, 2018

Silence

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature: trees, flowers, grass grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls. - Mother Teresa

We all have too much noise around us all day and with technology , computers and social media we all need to time to just shut down.
The news is 24 hours and are entertainment , their job is to create soap operas and get you to tune in , staying educated on the day and what is going on but it can also overtake you and then control your moods.

Most important we all need faith, you need to believe in something or somebody, something bigger then ourselves.
In order to find true peace you need to shut out the noise.

Do not feed into the anger and the hate, there is good in everyone and their is much beauty around us... we just need to take a deep breath , quiet our minds and embrace the world around us.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Your eyes

Tom Brady said one of his coaches once told him when I can look into your eyes and see that you want the same thing that I want I will know we have something.
I can say the same about running a department or a business, when you can see in the eyes of your team, your employees , and see they have the same goals then you know you are on the right track.
The goal of a boss is to try to instill that same drive in your employees, to have them believe in you and know that what they do - matters. They need to know that they are part of the bigger picture and they are not just a spoke on wheel but that they are important to not only the process but to the people around them.
Getting buy in is what makes the New England Patriots special, each player on that team knows that they are needed and they absolutely make a difference. Everybody not only knows their job but they know the other guys job. The biggest thing you also see is there is no egos, they all respect the other guy and they know they are all only as good as the team.
Building a team atmosphere is crucial in your work and actually it is your most rewarding goal that is will ever have in your life. Making a difference in somebody else’s life is what we are here for and each and every one of you have that power. All you have to do is - care.
When you can look into the eyes of the people around you and truly see them - you will begin to see.