Thursday, August 30, 2018

Following

Who are you following and why ?
Who do you follow at work ?
Who do you follow in politics?
Why?
Do you follow someone because you believe in them and what they have done and say?
At work do you follow someone only because they have a title and you fear retribution?
Do you stop and look at who you are following and how they treat other people ?
You may say - what choice do I have ? Or what difference does it make?
You ALWAYS have a choice and it should make a big difference because who you follow says a lot about YOU and what you stand for.
I always brought my kids up telling them to never be sheep, do not just blindly follow anyone- do not ever be intimidated - think on your own and follow your own path.

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Smile

If you want to improve your looks - Smile
If you want to feel better about yourself- Smile
Even on the phone people can see your smile.
Everything is habit - get in the habit of being positive, feeling positive and happy -and show it.
Try it out and will see more smiles coming right back at you and life is a whole lot better when you are give out positive vibes. You may be struggling with something or maybe you are worrying about someone in your family ... join the crowd- we all have some baggage and worries, you don’t have to wear it on your sleeves.
Smile

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Appreciation

Appreciate everybody and everything around you every day.
The older you get the more you really do realize that every day is a gift.
I recently turned 61- I still feel like a man in my twenties, that said my knees and body has a way of reminding me that I am not in my twenties.
I loved each stage of my life and I look back at that young man in his twenties and see I very energetic and very much naive young man. I was very confident, sometimes a bit over confident, but it helped me to try new things and jump in feet first when opportunity came knocking.
I always appreciated the good in people and my nativity came in when I truly thought everybody was good, again a nice trait to have but it certainly knocked me for a loop more then once but real life is the best teacher.
I still always look for the good in people even after getting burnt and stabbed in the back many times.
Looking back mostly all of those times people lied and cheated because of their own insecurities and their need to try to either cover up or climb the ladder or  maybe it was just envy, either way I wouldn’t change a thing. I know deep down that I never purposely did anything to anyone to hurt them on the contrary I always forgave them and tried to befriend them. Sometimes I had to recognize that their was no path or bridge so the best thing was to move on.
The biggest lesson I learned was that I ultimately cannot change them , I can only learn my lessons along the way and try to change myself for the better.
Live- learn- forgive- and appreciate every day and appreciate the people in your life.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Credibility

Credibility goes hand and hand with reputation.
Your credibility is in essence- your Word.
If you want a good reputation- keep your Word.
Simple- Right ? It should be but it is amazing to me how many people change their stories and their allegencies like the wind. People find it easy to break their word or their vows by trying to justify it at the time but most times it always for selfish reasons and most likely about money or being scared for their jobs- all weak and feeble reasons to go back on your word or to be dis-loyal.
If you want loyalty you have to show and give loyalty- you have to work hard at keeping your word and to be proud of your reputation.
 Your reputation will always follow you and well it should.
Credibility is the currency in which you cash in for your reputation and even if you think no one is watching - they are and they are taking mental notes but most of all YOU know.
If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.


Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Power

Power corrupts
In my over four decades in the business world I have witnessed Power corrupt good people and totally control people who make money their God.
It is the ugly side of humans and it is amazing to watch how under free will people treat others as objects to stay in Power and to keep their salaries.
I never liked titles and still do no not like them - once a person gets a title they then feel entitled and empowered- .
The crazy thing is in the grand scheme of things it does not matter, what matters is how we treat each other but in order to keep climbing the ladder people sell their soul and before you know it they are lost and cannot get back so they travel further down that road of Power and maybe they wake up but most have to suffer a loss or something horrific in their life to start to SEE again and realize that they no longer are the person they once was.
We all , at some point, in our lives just enjoyed the simple things and wanted to just make friends and laugh. Unfortunately for most adults they may need to think way back to their childhood to remember but trust me it was there.
Something happens to slowly change that and money, Power and responsibility plays a huge roll in that.
Think back - what and when may have derailed you and taken you hostage?
Do not wait for a loss -WAKE UP -Be the Change in your life -
Power and Money corrupts and can steal your smile - get it back !

Thursday, August 16, 2018

11 Signs

11 Signs That These People Try to Manipulate You:

#1 They aren’t able to control their emotions and aggression

Experts claim that narcissists aren’t able to control their emotions or behavior, overt aggression, and verbal aggression.

So, avoid getting into an unsafe situation with them. You should protect yourself from being a victim of the abusive tendencies of these people and remember that you do deserve better.

Even though physical aggression is easy to notice, psychological aggression is more difficult to spot. These signs indicate that someone is a psychological abuser:

– They pressure you to do things that you do not want to do;

– They control your behavior;

– They control your access to family and friends;

– They withhold financial, emotional, or physical support;

– They denigrate language;

– They threaten you;

– They make you feel afraid or intimidate you.



#2 They try to make you feel unworthy or inferior

Narcissists need you to feel like you should be grateful to know them or have them in their life, so eventually, they will probably try to make you feel inferior or unworthy. Keep in mind that this person wouldn’t waste their time with you if they didn’t enjoy spending time with you (and then find someone more genuine to hang out with from then on).

#3 They try to make you feel ashamed

Making you feel less valuable or belittling you is a way these people attempt to manipulate you. In case they manage to make you feel ashamed for your lack of education, physical appearance or social class, they’ll feel superior.

#4 They use gaslighting techniques to make you doubt your sanity

Gaslighting is actually an insidious method used by narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths. It can make you doubt your own sanity. For instance, in case you tell a narcissist that you do not like what they said to you in front of others, they’ll probably deny it, say that you’re wrong, and claim that it didn’t happen, regardless of what proof you provide to support your claim.

#5 They play the victim

Even when a narcissist is victimizing someone else, they have a knack for being able to make that person feel as though they are the ones who are acting improperly or unjustly. When you know you’re saying or doing the right thing in your mind and in your heart, then don’t let a narcissist convince you otherwise.

#6 They attempt to brainwash.

Brainwashing is actually defined as the manipulation and modification of a victim’s beliefs, emotions, and attitudes. If you are the victim, it may reduce your ability to mentally defend yourself and make it easier for the narcissist to control you. They make you do things you do not want to do for them.

#7 Third-party “proof.”

Narcissists need to feel as though they are always right—or that everyone else believes that they are always right—so they will often present a person or another source that verifies exactly what they want you to believe. However, always verify for yourself in these situations, since the “sources” are often incorrect or outright fake.



#8 They do not listen to you and often turn the topic back to themselves

As they believe that everything needs to be about them, narcissists may not be listening to you. What’s more, they instantly turn the topic back to themselves and cut you off when you’re speaking.

#9 They behave inappropriately

Research reveals that “Narcissists do indeed behave in more extroverted and less agreeable ways than non-narcissists, skip class more (among narcissists high in exploitativeness/entitlement only) and use more s.e.x.u.a.l language.” If you notice someone being inappropriate toward you or inappropriate in general, it’s usually best to keep your distance (or put some distance between you and them).

#10 They often accuse you of actions and intentions that don’t belong to you

Narcissists often criticize and blame you for everything they do. They accuse you of actions and intentions that don’t belong to you, and usually belong to themselves.

#11 They are verbally abusive

Narcissists use insulting language and yell at you as a way to manipulate you. They just want to make you feel fearful and small. But, you should try to stay strong in the face of this type of bullying behavior. You should also keep your voice calm and ask them to do the same. In case they don’t do it, refuse to talk to them.

Source: http://irelease.org, positivethingsonly.com

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See also:

10 Comebacks To Put Narcissists People Back In Their Place

Narcissists are selfish, arrogant and self-absorbed individuals who constantly look for attention and admiration. By using their natural charm and physical beauty they manipulate others in order to fulfill their own, usually superficial needs.

They are aware of their own flaws but they don’t care whether you like them or not since they are self-sufficient and full of themselves.

We all know how hard it is to deal with such people. Sometimes they seem nice and charming and other times, they can be rude, egotistical and manipulative. If you often struggle with narcissists or if you feel that they are trying to manipulate you, use these simple phrases to shut them down:

1. Learn how to say ″no″

You should never be afraid to say no. If someone is treating you poorly, if you feel uncomfortable or whatever the circumstance may be, say no when you need to. You are in charge of your own life and your own happiness. Don’t let anyone – including a narcissist – take that away from you.

2. Use their name as often as possible

By addressing someone by their name you take the control of the situation. When you talk to a narcissist, use their name as often as you can in order to command their attention.

3. “I’ll believe it when I see it”

Narcissists have a habit of making promises they can’t keep. Try not to get your hopes up when dealing with a narcissist. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. This phrase will undoubtedly throw them off their game.

4. Look them in their eyes

If the narcissist’s ego gets out of control, look them in their eyes and respond calmly. This will tell them that you know their intentions, as well as the insecurities they are struggling with.

5. “The world does not revolve around you”

Whether or not this phrase actually makes a difference to a narcissist, it’s something they often need to hear. Narcissists believe that their wants and needs are more important than anyone else’s. If you’re having a hard time dealing with a narcissist, let them know that they aren’t the only one who matters.

6. ″I am not afraid″

Narcissists often use fear as their manipulation tactic. They try to emotionally abuse you in order to make you feel helpless. Therefore, let them know that they can’t evoke fear in you, since you are not afraid.

7. “Slow down”

Narcissists are professional manipulators. They make decisions based on how a situation will benefit them. If you feel like you’re being rushed or pushed in a certain direction that you’re not comfortable with, stop them in their tracks by telling them to slow down.

8. ″I am not the one who is bad″

Narcissists can turn every situation in their favor in order to make themselves victims. Therefore, refuse to accept the blame they try to put on you.

9. “I am assertive and strong-willed”

One way a narcissist manipulates others is by telling them that they’re being overly emotional. Don’t let anyone else tell you that your feelings don’t matter. If a narcissist is telling you that you’re overreacting or being too emotional, respond by telling them that you are not overly emotional, you are assertive and strong-willed.

10. ″Don’t change the subject″

Narcissists will always try to make you feel guilty for every situation. They will do that by twisting your words and making you think that they haven’t done anything wrong and that all is your fault. Therefore, you shouldn’t let them stray from the topic.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Get better

Whatever business you are in you have a peak, a busy season and a slower season.

It is imperative to evaluate on the run and then make changes- get better.

As you are in your peak you need the ability to do your job and still look at your bumps and failures and try to figure a way to improve, it is hard to make changes when you in the moment so you need to address these issues in the non peak.

People and processes.

You need to evaluate people- do you have the right amount of people and do you have the right people in the right jobs? Not everybody is meant to do every job , it is up to you to try to find the right fit. In some cases you may find that some people just work hard at not working- you need to identify those people too and remove them.

You need to change or add processes to improve and help people do their job.

Once your peak ends you need to spring into action and make these evaluations and changes- DO NOT WAIT - if you want to get better then do not procrastinate- ask opinions of those around you and make notes and hold meetings and then pull the trigger.

Get Better


Saturday, August 4, 2018

The Sweet Spot

Work forward finding the “ Sweet Spot”

That place where you work hard and push yourself to be better and learn and also the spot where you can shut off the work side and totally be in the moment and enjoy everything and everybody around you.

Yes- the Sweet Spot does and can exist- YOU have to consciously work toward it.
Know where the line is and be selfish- do not be afraid to put yourself and your needs and wants first. You can be good at your job and still be good at enjoying your life.

Have a plan , what works for you ? How can you accomplish success at work and still shut it down ? Easier said then done sometimes and if you allow your job and work to be your master you will never find your sweet spot. You have to be able to determine and prioritize what you can do and what you want to do.

Always work hard and be your best and give 100% at your workplace , always want to grow and learn and help your fellow workers but always keep your priorities in front of you.

Succeeding is more then earning money it is finding your Sweet Spot.



Friday, August 3, 2018

Life is short

I say it in a lot of my blog pieces but Life is Truly Short.

We loss a good friend last night, Mark Verlardi , Mark was married and father of two wonderful young boys and cancer picked him.
Mark worked in my operations department for years back when I worked for Arpin and was part of a special team that we assembled, even after we both left that job we stayed in touch.
Mark loved his family and had the biggest smile when he showed you pictures of his kids. He struggled with cancer for a few years and after his first round he had a life awakening and had such a complete positive attitude about everything and he saw life through different eyes- through the eyes of a person that appreciated every day because he had that tap on the shoulder and the reminder of how fragile life can be.
Mark loved Disneyworld and loved going there with his family, I pray that Mark is smiling today and looking down on a life that he created for himself and his family that was proof of a man who cared, who loved and appreciated the simple wonders of the ocean and the beach and watching his kids grow up.

Rest In Peace my friend and know you made a difference.

And for the rest of us- remember Life is Short- don’t wait for the tap on the shoulder.


Thursday, August 2, 2018

Smile

Smile

It can be just that simple... Smile.

You should smile every day and you should try to laugh... life is short don’t waste it be a grumudgen.
It is up to you, you hold the key and can choose how you approach each day, if you are unhappy then get happy. I know that sounds silly, if only it was that easy- it is !

Why are you unhappy? Identify what or who makes you unhappy and make a change- choose to be happy- yup, you can do it and only you can do it.

What or who makes you happy ? Then follow that - smile and take in a deep breath and exhale, uncurl your toes, loosen your shoulders and try to clear your mind - another words be a child.
Stop blaming others and allowing them to lead you around and take away your smile - you allow them to do it- you giveaway your power to them- do not do it- first you need to be conscience of it so look around and pay attention.

Who is constantly bringing you down ?

Make the most important choice in you entire life- choose happiness and take back the Power.

SMILE