People are complicated.
You cannot go through this world without making a lot of mistakes you just hope that you can reflect on them and learn.
You are constantly learning.
When people or loved ones pass we have a tendency to always say what a nice or special person they were. Now we all may be aware of their frailties or failures but you overlook those because we all have them.
What was the finish product?
What did they leave behind?
It is very important to never judge others because we rarely know what the back stories are and frankly it should not matter. That said if we do know someone's history it may explain why they react the way they do in certain situations.
My brother in law who just passed was never politically correct and pretty much said it like it was, or at least as he saw it.
He hurt some feelings along the way and sure he could have said things different at times or not say anything but that was him.
What he did have was a big heart.
His family came first.
His rough exterior hid a sensitive person who had been hurt and burnt in the past and his mechanism to deal with things was to hit first.
His finish product in this life was a army full of kids and adults who's life he touched.
He left behind a loving wife, two kids and four grandkids that loved him dearly.
Life and people can be complicated, don't waste time judging . Spend more time looking for the good.