One of my favorite bits by George Carlin...STUFF
this is just a place for my stuff, ya know? That's all; a little place for my
stuff. That's all I want, that's all you need in life, is a little place for
your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody's got a little place
for their stuff. This is my stuff, that's your stuff, that'll be his stuff over
That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your
house is- a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you
wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time. A house is just
a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in
an airplane. You look down, you see everybody's got a little pile of stuff. All
the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up.
Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take
the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you're saving. All they want
is the shiny stuff. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while
you go out and get...more stuff! Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger
house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore.
Did you ever notice when you go to somebody else's house, you never quite feel
a hundred percent at home? You know why? No room for your stuff. Somebody
else's stuff is all over the goddamn place! And if you stay overnight,
unexpectedly, they give you a little bedroom to sleep in. Bedroom they haven't
used in about eleven years. Someone died in it, eleven years ago. And they
haven't moved any of his stuff! Right next to the bed there's usually a dresser
or a bureau of some kind, and there's no room for your stuff on it. Somebody
else's shit is on the dresser. Have you noticed that their stuff is shit and
your shit is stuff? God! And you say, "Get that shit off of there and let
me put my stuff down!"
Sometimes you leave your house to go on vacation. And you gotta take some of
your stuff with you. Gotta take about two big suitcases full of stuff, when you
go on vacation. You gotta take a smaller version of your house. It's the second
version of your stuff. And you're gonna fly all the way to Honolulu. Gonna go
across the continent, across half an ocean to Honolulu. You get down to the
hotel room in Honolulu and you open up your suitcase and you put away all your
stuff. "Here's a place here, put a little bit of stuff there, put some
stuff here, put some stuff- you put your stuff there, I'll put some stuff-
here's another place for stuff, look at this, I'll put some stuff here."
And even though you're far away from home, you start to get used to it, you
start to feel okay, because after all, you do have some of your stuff with you.