Paul Arpin had the best " bull shit meter" than anyone that I ever knew.
He knew within 60 seconds if someone was bull shittin him or trying to make up an answer.
Lord I miss that man.
You knew that when he asked you a question you best know the answer and if you didn't know the answe whatever you do DO NOT LIE.
I have worked with a lot of smart people but not many had the common sense in their DNA like Paul Arpin. He would listen to all sides and always come up with a common sense approach.
I wish we had more of that in today's politics.
Paul was honest and shot from the hip We were in a meeting one day , around 8 or 9 of us around the table and a new employee felt he needed to impress Paul with his vocabulary. He threw out some really impressive words and Paul stopped him in his tracks and said never mind those 10 cents fancy words with me just speak plain. When everybody left the room but him and me he looked at me and said " he thinks he knows everything , he doesn't".
Lord I miss that man.
These two guys who owned a business in Florida once sat in his office and they wanted to be a part of the Arpin Agency family. After they left his office he called me in and I asked what he thought and he said they were not " movers" and that the would never make it. He said they talked a good game and they mostly wanted to talk about golf. He said one said he was a scratch golfer, Paul said you cannot be a scratch golfer and run a successful moving business, you need to be in the thick of things.
Lord I miss that man.
Common sense and the best Bull Shit Meter !
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thank you
Labor Day is around the corner and I need to take this time to say THANK YOU-
Thank you to all of our driver, dispatchers , representatives and employees.
Every summer is challenging and very summer I have more respect for our drivers and agents and employees. It is a unique industry, we all need to rely so much on each other and the people around us to succeed. That is what makes it challenging and that is what makes it special.
A driver's job has become more and more difficult. That said it is still a very good business and is very respectable.
Labor Day is all about you- when they talk about middle America and America's workers they are talking about you. You are the salt of the earth and you are what makes America what it is.
Good people that get up every day and do your best to help other people.
Take the time to celebrate what you do and to celebrate life.
THANK YOU ! and GOD BLESS
Thank you to all of our driver, dispatchers , representatives and employees.
Every summer is challenging and very summer I have more respect for our drivers and agents and employees. It is a unique industry, we all need to rely so much on each other and the people around us to succeed. That is what makes it challenging and that is what makes it special.
A driver's job has become more and more difficult. That said it is still a very good business and is very respectable.
Labor Day is all about you- when they talk about middle America and America's workers they are talking about you. You are the salt of the earth and you are what makes America what it is.
Good people that get up every day and do your best to help other people.
Take the time to celebrate what you do and to celebrate life.
THANK YOU ! and GOD BLESS
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Body Language
Part 2 from yesterday's posting on Body Language.
3) Touch: Never touch your face. It conveys deceit, insincerity and mistrust, according to Hoppe, while touching one's lips can indicate a lack of agreement.
"When you see someone touch their face you instantly distrust them or feel uneasy about them."
4) Tonality: The tone of your voice make up a large part of nonverbal communication.
"If you're trying to convince someone of something pay attention to your tonality. When you're making a statement, command or directive, your voice goes down at the end of the sentence. So if you're trying to convince someone of something, make sure it goes down."
Also, watch out: A person who is trying to deceive someone will tend to raise the voice at the end of a sentence--trying to convince either himself or you.
5) Dress: Red and yellow are power colors. Be careful when choosing them. They can either convey confidence or come across as arrogant to your boss.
6) Feeling vulnerable: Look at items such as a your colleague or client's pen or glasses--are they chewed at the ends? How do they hold a book or briefcase? Scrutinizing these behaviors indicates how that person approaches negotiations, as well as his thought processes and business confidence.
"When we feel vulnerable we protect our neck area. When another person feels vulnerable too they will try to protect themselves--holding a book or papers over their chest or touching their neck--these are all self-assurance techniques," Hoppe said.
7) Standing position: If you want to have the best face-to-face rapport with someone, take a small step to your left so that your right eye is directly facing your colleague's right eye. Hoppe said 75 percent of people surveyed feel more comfortable than when standing to someone's right.
3) Touch: Never touch your face. It conveys deceit, insincerity and mistrust, according to Hoppe, while touching one's lips can indicate a lack of agreement.
"When you see someone touch their face you instantly distrust them or feel uneasy about them."
4) Tonality: The tone of your voice make up a large part of nonverbal communication.
"If you're trying to convince someone of something pay attention to your tonality. When you're making a statement, command or directive, your voice goes down at the end of the sentence. So if you're trying to convince someone of something, make sure it goes down."
Also, watch out: A person who is trying to deceive someone will tend to raise the voice at the end of a sentence--trying to convince either himself or you.
5) Dress: Red and yellow are power colors. Be careful when choosing them. They can either convey confidence or come across as arrogant to your boss.
6) Feeling vulnerable: Look at items such as a your colleague or client's pen or glasses--are they chewed at the ends? How do they hold a book or briefcase? Scrutinizing these behaviors indicates how that person approaches negotiations, as well as his thought processes and business confidence.
"When we feel vulnerable we protect our neck area. When another person feels vulnerable too they will try to protect themselves--holding a book or papers over their chest or touching their neck--these are all self-assurance techniques," Hoppe said.
7) Standing position: If you want to have the best face-to-face rapport with someone, take a small step to your left so that your right eye is directly facing your colleague's right eye. Hoppe said 75 percent of people surveyed feel more comfortable than when standing to someone's right.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
7 Things Your Body Language Is Telling Your Boss
7 Things Your Body Language Is Telling Your Boss
Thinking about wearing that red tie to a meeting with the managing director today? You might want to think again.
Body language and nonverbal communication can have a big impact on your professional life and can ultimately make or break a deal, business relationship or even your financial success, according to a legion of body language books.
"In business, one of the most important things is the impression you give people," Eliot Hoppe, an author and expert on body language, told CNBC.
Body language encompasses body movements, facial expressions and gestures as well as the tone of your voice. Here are Hoppe's top tips to optimize your chances of business success.
1) Posture: People make up their minds about others in just the first four seconds, Hoppe said. "In business, you've got to remember that when you walk into a boardroom, people have already made a decision about you by the time you sit down."
To ensure you go into business meetings as equals walk in with a good posture. "Stand upright, have a brisk walk, you want to convey that you want to be there and are confident," Hoppe said. "If you slump your shoulders--what message will that give?"
We all have "fronts" but you have to make that outward appearance of confidence believable--people can see through it easier than you think.
2) Handshake: Touch can be a big part of body language, get it wrong and you can end up with a black eye or dismissal--get it right and you can literally gain the "upper hand" in a business transaction.
"For most parts of the world, a handshake in business is the norm and just from that you can get an idea if the person is being dominant and aggressive or passive," Hoppe said.
One word of warning: Watch out for the "power play" that can take place.
Simple observations such as a limp or firm handshake are easy. Watch out if when shaking someone's hand the other person tries to turn the handshake so that their hand is on top. "This is a power play," Hoppe said. Most handshake power plays are sub-conscious but occasionally you will find that in order to appear submissive someone will willingly give you "the upper hand."
Also watch what the "free" hand does in a handshake. Does the other person use the second hand to shake your hand or to pat your other arm?
"The higher up [your shoulder] the free hand goes, the bigger the power play," Hoppe said.
George Bush and Tony Blair were a classic case of touch power play, for instance. "Who would pat the other's arm higher up or who would enter a door first was always an issue," Hoppe said.
Just one more thing to remember. Don't hold a drink in the hand you use to greet people. "All people will feel is a cold, wet hand," Hoppe said. "That won't give a good impression."
More tomorrow
Thinking about wearing that red tie to a meeting with the managing director today? You might want to think again.
Body language and nonverbal communication can have a big impact on your professional life and can ultimately make or break a deal, business relationship or even your financial success, according to a legion of body language books.
"In business, one of the most important things is the impression you give people," Eliot Hoppe, an author and expert on body language, told CNBC.
Body language encompasses body movements, facial expressions and gestures as well as the tone of your voice. Here are Hoppe's top tips to optimize your chances of business success.
1) Posture: People make up their minds about others in just the first four seconds, Hoppe said. "In business, you've got to remember that when you walk into a boardroom, people have already made a decision about you by the time you sit down."
To ensure you go into business meetings as equals walk in with a good posture. "Stand upright, have a brisk walk, you want to convey that you want to be there and are confident," Hoppe said. "If you slump your shoulders--what message will that give?"
We all have "fronts" but you have to make that outward appearance of confidence believable--people can see through it easier than you think.
2) Handshake: Touch can be a big part of body language, get it wrong and you can end up with a black eye or dismissal--get it right and you can literally gain the "upper hand" in a business transaction.
"For most parts of the world, a handshake in business is the norm and just from that you can get an idea if the person is being dominant and aggressive or passive," Hoppe said.
One word of warning: Watch out for the "power play" that can take place.
Simple observations such as a limp or firm handshake are easy. Watch out if when shaking someone's hand the other person tries to turn the handshake so that their hand is on top. "This is a power play," Hoppe said. Most handshake power plays are sub-conscious but occasionally you will find that in order to appear submissive someone will willingly give you "the upper hand."
Also watch what the "free" hand does in a handshake. Does the other person use the second hand to shake your hand or to pat your other arm?
"The higher up [your shoulder] the free hand goes, the bigger the power play," Hoppe said.
George Bush and Tony Blair were a classic case of touch power play, for instance. "Who would pat the other's arm higher up or who would enter a door first was always an issue," Hoppe said.
Just one more thing to remember. Don't hold a drink in the hand you use to greet people. "All people will feel is a cold, wet hand," Hoppe said. "That won't give a good impression."
More tomorrow
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
First they came
First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.
Then they came for the socialists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak for me.
Monday, August 26, 2013
The 4 Non-Negotiables of Leadership
The 4 Non-Negotiables of Leadership
- Show up and choose to be present
- Pay attention to what has heart and meaning
- Tell the truth without blame or judgment
- Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome
Sunday, August 25, 2013
WORDS
Complaining says stop or improve, but doesn’t improve anything. Encouraging points to behaviors or attitudes to continue, but doesn’t continue anything.
It feels good to get something off your chest. But, “off your chest” conversations are pleas for affirmation not expressions of leadership.
Weak leaders run around getting things off their chest. It’s self-centered, self-indulgent, and self-defeating. Leadership is about them not you.
Too much criticism:
Successful leaders work toward solutions with others.
Cowards, like drive by shooters, criticize from the sidelines.
The danger of talking is it feels like doing.
The biggest waste of words:It feels good to get something off your chest. But, “off your chest” conversations are pleas for affirmation not expressions of leadership.
Weak leaders run around getting things off their chest. It’s self-centered, self-indulgent, and self-defeating. Leadership is about them not you.
Talk is useful because it’s the environment of action.
The 7 powers of words:- Connect. Words that create connection are about others not you. Trust is the predecessor and indicator of connection.
- Persuade. Spend more time connecting and it will take fewer words to persuade. Convincing others is about them, not you.
- Focus. It’s normal to focus on what matters. Leaders explain what matters now.
- Open. Nothing opens hearts and minds better than questions. Statements invite scrutiny. Questions invite exploration.
- Guide. Leadership language centers on next steps. Anyone can explain where you’ve been. Leaders describe where you’re going.
- Correct: Tell people what isn’t working in regards to relationships and results.
- Affirm. Affirmation creates stability by encouraging repetition. Excellence requires positive feedback.
Too much criticism:
Rather than “don’t like” say “I’d like.”
Courageously use words that express what you want. It’s safe to criticize, correct, and complain – to say what you don’t want or like.
Solutions are courageous self-declarations.
Cowards, like drive by shooters, criticize from the sidelines.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
Remembering really old things
Remembering REALLY Old Things,And Saving Them
(And NO,I’m not talking about Dave’s birthday)
I've always been one who saved any nuts,bolts and screws I find everywhere....Parking lots,warehouses,or anywhere they might be found,actually,there's about 3 coffee cans full,in my side box...They have helped me a number of times when someone lost my hardware for a job...The last one was a shipper who needed a screw for some light fixtures she was replacing to ship hers with me...YUP,had the same screw in a can.....Where this is going is.......I spent a weekend(part of it)waiting to load on a Sunday way down in south Texas,dropped 1 trailer in an agents LOCKED yard,with the warehouse guys phone number to let me back in for a Sunday pick up of that box.....The job went WAY over in cubes(thanks to 5 9 foot sofa's and 9 Mattress cartons)and I did not load it for fear of a 800 cube overflow......The rest of the story......7:45 am I called him to let him know I needed my other box....Voice mail....Every 15 minutes after that another call......NO ANSWER?I went on to the agent,thinking they may have left it open....NOPE!At that point,and a master lock...I started wondering....DO I HAVE A KEY?I tried my main key ring,nope,then on to key from 20 years ago......I remember this key,it got bent from the lock being frozen,in 1982(?),YES I still have every master key I ever used....I tried that one first,IT POPPED open....Life IS GOOD......Funny thing is.....FINALLY got a call from the warehouse guy......7 HOURS later......It does pay to save old stuff.....I did lock the yard back up and let him know that.....
Thursday, August 22, 2013
More on Leadership
4. You already know what it takes to be a good leader – Not to plagiarise Robert Fulghum, but you probably learned in kindergarten most of what it takes to be a good leader. Be nice. Play well with others. Say please and thank you. Do what you can to help others. Of course you have to mature and apply those fundamentals in adult ways like being transparent and authentic with others, challenging them to strive for their goals, holding people accountable, and having difficult conversations when needed.
5. The difference between management and leadership is overrated – Tons of books and blogs have been written debating the differences between these two concepts. Yes, each has its own unique characteristics, and yes, each of them overlap significantly in the practice of leadership and management. Leaders have to manage and managers have to lead. Learn to do them both well because they are much more similar than they are different.
6. Leaders aren’t special – We’re all bozos on the same bus. Leaders aren’t any more special than individual contributors and everyone is needed to have a successful team. If you view leadership as service, which I happen to do, you should consider your team members more important than yourself. Get your ego out of the way and you’ll be on your way to success.
7. Leadership is much more about who you are than what you do – This is probably the most important truth I’ve learned about leadership over my career. I view leadership as a calling, not a job. As a calling, leadership is about who I am—my values, beliefs, attitudes—and my actions are the visible manifestation of those inner ideals. If you want to be a successful leader, your primary focus should be on the inner work that is required, not on behavioral tricks or techniques.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Leadership
We tend to over-complicate things in life, and when it comes to defining what successful leadership looks like, we really, really, over-complicate it. Much of what constitutes leadership success comes down to common sense, but unfortunately it’s not common practice.
I don’t think leadership should be that complicated. If you’re looking for leadership success, consider these seven simple truths.
I don’t think leadership should be that complicated. If you’re looking for leadership success, consider these seven simple truths.
1. There aren’t any shortcuts – Leadership is hard work and most of it is on the job training. Formal education and ongoing development are essential parts of developing your leadership competency, but don’t think you can transform yourself into a great leader by reading a certain book or taking a particular training course. Great leaders are built by being in the game, not by standing on the sidelines or sitting in the classroom.
2. Great leaders started by being great followers – Most successful leaders were successful followers at some point. They learned how to be part of a team, put the needs of others ahead of their own, and work toward a goal bigger than themselves. In our hero-worshiping culture we tend to place the spotlight on the individual achievements of leaders and not pay much attention to how they cultivated those winning ways earlier in their career. Learn to be a good follower and you’ll learn what it takes to be a good leader.
3. There’s no mysterious secret to leadership – Contrary to the titles of popular leadership books, there is no single, mysterious secret to unlocking leadership success (see truth #1). All those books that I lovingly needled offer valuable insights about various aspects of leadership, but most of them tell you what you already know to be true…which brings me to the next point.
More tomorrow
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Visualise
Visualise process not outcome
The mind's eye is powerful. So, like elite performers in sport, music and elsewhere, use the mind's eye to power yourself forward.
In your mind, see yourself going through the procedures you need to complete the task.
Research on visualisation shows that when tasks are at the start or part-way through, it's best to stay focused on the process and forget about the outcome.
But, when you are approaching the end, it boosts your motivation to shift your focus to the outcome.
So, in your mind's eye, stay process focused at the start of a project or day, then switch through to a goal focus as the end comes in sight.
The mind's eye is powerful. So, like elite performers in sport, music and elsewhere, use the mind's eye to power yourself forward.
In your mind, see yourself going through the procedures you need to complete the task.
Research on visualisation shows that when tasks are at the start or part-way through, it's best to stay focused on the process and forget about the outcome.
But, when you are approaching the end, it boosts your motivation to shift your focus to the outcome.
So, in your mind's eye, stay process focused at the start of a project or day, then switch through to a goal focus as the end comes in sight.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
I'm a Professional Mover
I’m A Professional Mover
By Chris Noblit
I'm a professional mover...not a social worker. Please don't threaten me, accuse me of taking advantage of you, tell me about how your husband/brother/aunt/uncle/friends/brother/sister cheated you, or tell me about your financial or medical troubles. Please don't start crying. Please stop screaming. Please don't share you life woes with me. Please don't threaten me with physical or legal violence. Please keep your personal issues to yourself because I'm a professional mover...not a social worker.
I'm a professional mover...…not a mind reader. Please don't make me guess what you intend to move. Please be specific about the articles you need moved and if you make any significant changes it is perfectly understandable...but please have the courtesy to call me and tell me what has changed because I'm a professional mover...not a mind reader.
I'm a professional mover......not a garbage man. Please don't expect me to dispose of all the junk you don't want. Yes I can move it out to the curb, but I charge for such a service. And, no, I don't want it for my house...because it's junk. And please don't expect me to work in a filthy environment...because I'm a professional mover...not a garbage man.
I'm a professional mover...not a magician. I can't move lamps, lampshades, mirrors, glass or marble tops, dishes, or collectibles which are not properly packed. Such articles will break if they are not properly packed because...I'm a professional mover...not a magician.
I'm a professional mover...not a thief. I can't tell you why your Uncle Milty/Aunt Sarah/Brother Kevin/Sister Sue/Uncle Mac/Cousin Fred/Friend Joey moved one half the amount of stuff you have, twice the distance, for one half the amount I told you I would charge. My rates and charges are not arbitrary, they are published in my tariff and I charge based upon my published tariff rates because I'm a professional mover...not a thief.
I'm a professional mover... not a plumber, carpenter, or electrician which is who you need to hire to take down your chandelier, hookup your icemaker, or de-install your hard-wired electric range. My men are trained movers and they dismantle standardhousehold
items such as beds, tables, and the occasional light-bridge...but they are not
qualified to do plumbing, carpentry, or electrical work. And this is because
I'm a professional mover...not a plumber, a carpenter, or an electrician.
I'm aprofessional
mover ...not a fool. Please stop telling me how very light
and how very small everything you need to move is. I have been a professional
mover for a very long time and I am competent to judge of the size and weight
of your shipment. And when I tell you how much your shipment weighs please
don't laugh at me. I counted what you showed me and I applied industry standard
measurements to quantify your shipment. I did this because I'm a professional
mover...not a fool.
I'm a professional mover...not a scam artist. I counted everything you showed me and if your shipment weighs significantly more then I estimate it is because you took more items then you showed me. Yes: I know I told you if you didn't take the piano you would save $150.00 and (yes) I understand that you got rid of the piano and (yes) I understand that your move without the piano cost more than I estimated with the piano. This is because you took more items then you showed me. You really did save $150.00 by not moving the piano. Really, you did. And, yes, I need to charge you for a destination shuttle because your destination residence is not accessible by my tractor-trailer. And, no, this is not my fault...it is because of where you decided to live, not me. No...I cannot carry your shipment one half of a mile to your new home; I need to rent a small truck to shuttle and double handle your shipment into your new residence. But this is a legitimate charge: I know because I'm a professional mover...not a scam artist.
No. I'm a professional mover...not a social worker…not a mind reader...not a garbage man...not a magician...not a thief...not a plumber, carpenter, or electrician...not a fool...and I certainly not a scam artist.
But...then...I guess...the very best professional movers have to be social workers, and mind readers, and garbage men, magicians, and plumbers, and carpenters, and electricians.
By Chris Noblit
I'm a professional mover...not a social worker. Please don't threaten me, accuse me of taking advantage of you, tell me about how your husband/brother/aunt/uncle/friends/brother/sister cheated you, or tell me about your financial or medical troubles. Please don't start crying. Please stop screaming. Please don't share you life woes with me. Please don't threaten me with physical or legal violence. Please keep your personal issues to yourself because I'm a professional mover...not a social worker.
I'm a professional mover...…not a mind reader. Please don't make me guess what you intend to move. Please be specific about the articles you need moved and if you make any significant changes it is perfectly understandable...but please have the courtesy to call me and tell me what has changed because I'm a professional mover...not a mind reader.
I'm a professional mover......not a garbage man. Please don't expect me to dispose of all the junk you don't want. Yes I can move it out to the curb, but I charge for such a service. And, no, I don't want it for my house...because it's junk. And please don't expect me to work in a filthy environment...because I'm a professional mover...not a garbage man.
I'm a professional mover...not a magician. I can't move lamps, lampshades, mirrors, glass or marble tops, dishes, or collectibles which are not properly packed. Such articles will break if they are not properly packed because...I'm a professional mover...not a magician.
I'm a professional mover...not a thief. I can't tell you why your Uncle Milty/Aunt Sarah/Brother Kevin/Sister Sue/Uncle Mac/Cousin Fred/Friend Joey moved one half the amount of stuff you have, twice the distance, for one half the amount I told you I would charge. My rates and charges are not arbitrary, they are published in my tariff and I charge based upon my published tariff rates because I'm a professional mover...not a thief.
I'm a professional mover... not a plumber, carpenter, or electrician which is who you need to hire to take down your chandelier, hookup your icemaker, or de-install your hard-wired electric range. My men are trained movers and they dismantle standard
I'm a
I'm a professional mover...not a scam artist. I counted everything you showed me and if your shipment weighs significantly more then I estimate it is because you took more items then you showed me. Yes: I know I told you if you didn't take the piano you would save $150.00 and (yes) I understand that you got rid of the piano and (yes) I understand that your move without the piano cost more than I estimated with the piano. This is because you took more items then you showed me. You really did save $150.00 by not moving the piano. Really, you did. And, yes, I need to charge you for a destination shuttle because your destination residence is not accessible by my tractor-trailer. And, no, this is not my fault...it is because of where you decided to live, not me. No...I cannot carry your shipment one half of a mile to your new home; I need to rent a small truck to shuttle and double handle your shipment into your new residence. But this is a legitimate charge: I know because I'm a professional mover...not a scam artist.
No. I'm a professional mover...not a social worker…not a mind reader...not a garbage man...not a magician...not a thief...not a plumber, carpenter, or electrician...not a fool...and I certainly not a scam artist.
But...then...I guess...the very best professional movers have to be social workers, and mind readers, and garbage men, magicians, and plumbers, and carpenters, and electricians.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Steve Jobs
Sent by our Road Warrior- Skip...... ( good stuff )
Ashton Kutcher”He led into that last quote by saying, "The
third thing is something that I just relearned when I was making this movie
about Steve Jobs." That last sound bite is Steve Jobs. By the
way, it is great advice. Don't assume you're not valid because you think
people have done more than you. Don't assume you're not valid or qualified
because other people are older and more experienced, and don't assume people
are smarter than you are, and don't fall prey to the structure that other
people have made for you. Build a life, don't live it. And it's
something he fervently believed, and he did. “.There’s more and it DEEP....Imagine
someone who’s as dumb(and rich)as he is learning that from an acting role?The
best part is where I got his:
I’m not a fan,but he makes some good points.....
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Getting Old
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.
She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'?
And that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!
And that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!
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Wednesday, August 14, 2013
What if
What if you did not NEED money?
What would you do?
How would you treat others?
Would you work and if so what would you do?
Does money control your life? Your thoughts ?
Does it completely envelope your day to day?
I think that is why we miss growing up and childhood and our teenage years. We had no worries, no financial commitments that weighed us down.
It is never too late. Get your finances in order, work to get them down but remember that you work so you can live you shouldn't live so you can work.
Have a goal, a strategy.
Want less-
And for heaven's sake appreciate what you DO HAVE and the people around you.
Find the positives in what you do and expand upon them.
ACCENT THE POSITIVE.
Do not ALLOW money to determine your life and stress you out so much that you are just full of anger and rage.
Take control, find that inner child again. Break free of wanting more, credit and loans.
Start today, you can do it.
You are the script writer for your own life.
What if?
What would you do?
How would you treat others?
Would you work and if so what would you do?
Does money control your life? Your thoughts ?
Does it completely envelope your day to day?
I think that is why we miss growing up and childhood and our teenage years. We had no worries, no financial commitments that weighed us down.
It is never too late. Get your finances in order, work to get them down but remember that you work so you can live you shouldn't live so you can work.
Have a goal, a strategy.
Want less-
And for heaven's sake appreciate what you DO HAVE and the people around you.
Find the positives in what you do and expand upon them.
ACCENT THE POSITIVE.
Do not ALLOW money to determine your life and stress you out so much that you are just full of anger and rage.
Take control, find that inner child again. Break free of wanting more, credit and loans.
Start today, you can do it.
You are the script writer for your own life.
What if?
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Be Honest
Be honest--with yourself and others
Remember what we said about asking questions? Here's a hard one:Are you passionate, or delusional?
Delusion is a double-edged sword. When it comes to productivity, tricking yourself can be your best move, but if your career is hurting other (more important) aspects of your life it might be time to re-evaluate your priorities.
Truth be told, I think the difference between passion and delusion isn’t even very distinguishable. I suspect many an entrepreneur has fallen too far down the rabbit hole without even realizing it. It happened to me. Maxed-out credit cards, empty cupboards, and a frustrated spouse helped me wake up to the delusion I created in myself. I was laser-focused on the belief I had to succeed no matter what, which led me to lose sight of reality. My story fortunately has a happy ending. But if I hadn’t faced that reality head-on (and it did indeed feel like a crash), I wouldn’t have been able to honestly evaluate my business and redirect toward a healthier course
Monday, August 12, 2013
Keep promises- Lead- and Don't be Afraid
Keep promises, no matter how small
Talk is cheap and meaningful customer relationships are built on promises. Same goes for your personal life, right?Well, maybe.
Success is built on mutually trusting relationships with just about everybody. If you say you're going to walk the office dog? Well, you'd best walk the office dog.
Lead, don't dictate
There's a big difference between being a leader and being a boss.Don't be afraid--or embarrassed--of your failures
Sir James Dyson, creator of the famous Dyson vacuum (who recently came by and vacuumed the Fast Company offices), is no stranger to failure. In fact, he embraces it.I made 5,127 prototypes of my vacuum before I got it right. There were 5,126 failures. But I learned from each one. That's how I came up with a solution. So I don't mind failure. I've always thought that schoolchildren should be marked by the number of failures they've had. The child who tries strange things and experiences lots of failures to get there is probably more creative.Dyson's point: If you want to discover something new, you're bound to fail a few times (or in his case, 5,126 times), and that's okay. It's also okay to quit something your heart isn't into, in order to get somewhere better.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Lessons for success
4. Desire Outweighs Potential
As an entrepreneur, I see potential in everything and everybody. As an employer, this got me into terrible trouble. I would hire people on potential without checking desire. Of course nearly every applicant wanted the job, even when they didn't. Then in 90 days, the excitement of the new job wore off, and we all realized we made a horrible mistake. I now put people through rigorous testing for desire (including myself) when new opportunities arise. Spend time thinking of the implications down the road. Don't ask the question Can I do that? Ask the question Should I do that?
5. Pay Yourself First
This sounds like a selfish approach, but actually it is a logical one. However generous you want to be, you really can't help others from a position of weakness ... just like in an airplane, where you're told to secure your own oxygen mask before helping a child. To offer legitimate guidance and support, you must be strong, stable and secure financially and emotionally. The easiest way to get there is to set your materialistic needs low, secure a happy home life and maintain a healthy body. Then, and only then, will you be ready to help others selflessly and abundantly.
6. Civility Is Strength
As a New Yorker, I know what it means to live around rudeness. And while I thrive on the directness of my fellow city dwellers, there is a time to sit back and let things pass. Being polite and cordial or even passive doesn't automatically make you a doormat. You don't have to be rude or pushy to get what you want or to appear strong. And you certainly don't have to fight every battle. Today, I find that I accomplish more by allowing others to panic and get excited. Then I weigh in with careful thought and consideration. Before you get anxious and jump into the fray, ask yourself: Is this the highest and best use of my time and energy?
7. Appreciate Every Experience
I've had my share of good times and bad. It's been a bumpy ride, to say the least. But I have yet to live a day where I didn't learn something, connect with someone of value or observe inspiring beauty. And for that, I am always grateful. I hope you are too.
As an entrepreneur, I see potential in everything and everybody. As an employer, this got me into terrible trouble. I would hire people on potential without checking desire. Of course nearly every applicant wanted the job, even when they didn't. Then in 90 days, the excitement of the new job wore off, and we all realized we made a horrible mistake. I now put people through rigorous testing for desire (including myself) when new opportunities arise. Spend time thinking of the implications down the road. Don't ask the question Can I do that? Ask the question Should I do that?
5. Pay Yourself First
This sounds like a selfish approach, but actually it is a logical one. However generous you want to be, you really can't help others from a position of weakness ... just like in an airplane, where you're told to secure your own oxygen mask before helping a child. To offer legitimate guidance and support, you must be strong, stable and secure financially and emotionally. The easiest way to get there is to set your materialistic needs low, secure a happy home life and maintain a healthy body. Then, and only then, will you be ready to help others selflessly and abundantly.
6. Civility Is Strength
As a New Yorker, I know what it means to live around rudeness. And while I thrive on the directness of my fellow city dwellers, there is a time to sit back and let things pass. Being polite and cordial or even passive doesn't automatically make you a doormat. You don't have to be rude or pushy to get what you want or to appear strong. And you certainly don't have to fight every battle. Today, I find that I accomplish more by allowing others to panic and get excited. Then I weigh in with careful thought and consideration. Before you get anxious and jump into the fray, ask yourself: Is this the highest and best use of my time and energy?
7. Appreciate Every Experience
I've had my share of good times and bad. It's been a bumpy ride, to say the least. But I have yet to live a day where I didn't learn something, connect with someone of value or observe inspiring beauty. And for that, I am always grateful. I hope you are too.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Lessons for sucess
Here are seven of my biggest lessons for success. Although it would have been nice to learn them earlier, I'm glad to have them in my back pocket now.
1. Collect People
I've always been a pretty good networker. I'm not overly social, but I do like interaction with interesting people, and I like to help where I can. I often meet successful people, but it takes time to establish mutual trust and interest. It wasn't until age 40 that many of the people I had known for 15+ years reached positions of power and success. Maintaining relationships with peers has brought great help in times of need and great opportunities along my journey. Cultivate relationships in a genuine and generous manner, and those people will continue to support your efforts for success.
2. Plant Seeds
Another realization I gained at 40 was the value of time--not as a commodity, but as an ally. In my youth, I wanted to outsmart the process so I could speed the path to success. Now I use the passage of time to my advantage. Some of the most amazing things in life develop gradually. Great business models and effective marketing programs can take 3 to 5+ years to develop. That seems too long for today's impatient millennials, but time invested becomes a barrier to entry for competitors. Looking back, I am fascinated by the way that seeds I planted unknowingly more than a decade ago now bear valuable fruit. These days, I happily use my perspective to plan for harvests decades from now.
3. The Only Approval You Need is Your Own
Early on, I constantly battled against insecurities. I needed accomplishments for reassurance and rarely felt confidence from success. I wasted time and energy being uncomfortable in my own skin. It wasn't until my first For Dummies book in 2004 that I believed my public credibility was worthy and began to relax a bit. Only when heeding a good friend's advice to simply "Decide to be confident" did the path to success become less fettered and distracted. Today I only seek my own approval and attract people who appreciate what I have to offer. The rest are welcome to look for guidance elsewhere.
More tomorrow
1. Collect People
I've always been a pretty good networker. I'm not overly social, but I do like interaction with interesting people, and I like to help where I can. I often meet successful people, but it takes time to establish mutual trust and interest. It wasn't until age 40 that many of the people I had known for 15+ years reached positions of power and success. Maintaining relationships with peers has brought great help in times of need and great opportunities along my journey. Cultivate relationships in a genuine and generous manner, and those people will continue to support your efforts for success.
2. Plant Seeds
Another realization I gained at 40 was the value of time--not as a commodity, but as an ally. In my youth, I wanted to outsmart the process so I could speed the path to success. Now I use the passage of time to my advantage. Some of the most amazing things in life develop gradually. Great business models and effective marketing programs can take 3 to 5+ years to develop. That seems too long for today's impatient millennials, but time invested becomes a barrier to entry for competitors. Looking back, I am fascinated by the way that seeds I planted unknowingly more than a decade ago now bear valuable fruit. These days, I happily use my perspective to plan for harvests decades from now.
3. The Only Approval You Need is Your Own
Early on, I constantly battled against insecurities. I needed accomplishments for reassurance and rarely felt confidence from success. I wasted time and energy being uncomfortable in my own skin. It wasn't until my first For Dummies book in 2004 that I believed my public credibility was worthy and began to relax a bit. Only when heeding a good friend's advice to simply "Decide to be confident" did the path to success become less fettered and distracted. Today I only seek my own approval and attract people who appreciate what I have to offer. The rest are welcome to look for guidance elsewhere.
More tomorrow
Friday, August 9, 2013
The bridge from doubt to courage must be crossed
The bridge from doubt to courage must be crossed
It’s the bridge we all need to cross, whether we are writers or leaders. The first steps are the hardest; those that make you vulnerable, and humble, and willing to admit that you need to walk together with others.
These are the very experiences that allow us to make a difference in this world, and we need leaders who will do that.
So start crossing that bridge. Open your heart, ask for and accept other’s help. Let them know that you are human, that you can’t lead alone. Invite their opinions, ideas, and criticisms with equal enthusiasm.
What’s stopping you from taking that first step? If you open up enough to realize that leading others is just a slice of the life you’ve been meant to live along with others, you’ll make it to the other side of that bridge with grace. The world awaits your strong, courageous leadership.
It’s the bridge we all need to cross, whether we are writers or leaders. The first steps are the hardest; those that make you vulnerable, and humble, and willing to admit that you need to walk together with others.
These are the very experiences that allow us to make a difference in this world, and we need leaders who will do that.
So start crossing that bridge. Open your heart, ask for and accept other’s help. Let them know that you are human, that you can’t lead alone. Invite their opinions, ideas, and criticisms with equal enthusiasm.
What’s stopping you from taking that first step? If you open up enough to realize that leading others is just a slice of the life you’ve been meant to live along with others, you’ll make it to the other side of that bridge with grace. The world awaits your strong, courageous leadership.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
10 Common communication Mistakes
Mistake 6: Not Preparing Thoroughly Poorly-prepared presentations, reports, or emails frustrate your audience and, over time, damage your reputation. This is why it's essential to prepare and plan your communications carefully. -
Mistake 7: Using a "One-Size-Fits-All" Approach to Communication If you use a "one-size-fits-all" approach to communication, you may overlook people's different personalities, needs, and expectations. In fact, your communications need to address those differences as much as possible. -
Mistake 8: Not Keeping an Open Mind When Meeting New People Today's workplace is a melting pot of ethnicities, religions, ages, sexual orientations, and viewpoints. These differences create a rich tapestry of experiences and opinions that greatly enhance our lives. However, it can be tempting to stereotype new colleagues or clients, or to make assumptions about them based on just a few pieces of information. This is especially true if you haven't had much time to get to know them well. -
Mistake 9: Assuming That Your Message has Been Understood Always take time to check that people have understood your message. For example, when you send out an email, you could encourage people to respond with questions, or to reply if they haven't understood part of your message -
Mistake 10: Accidentally Violating Others' Privacy Have you ever forwarded a sensitive email to the wrong person, or sent an incorrect attachment? These kinds of errors can cause serious commercial problems, violate people's privacy, and lead to embarrassment and confusion. To avoid these problems, write sensitive messages before you select the recipient, and then double check their email address. If your email program automatically fills in email addresses, you could switch this feature off, so that you must consciously choose the right recipient. -
Mistake 7: Using a "One-Size-Fits-All" Approach to Communication If you use a "one-size-fits-all" approach to communication, you may overlook people's different personalities, needs, and expectations. In fact, your communications need to address those differences as much as possible. -
Mistake 8: Not Keeping an Open Mind When Meeting New People Today's workplace is a melting pot of ethnicities, religions, ages, sexual orientations, and viewpoints. These differences create a rich tapestry of experiences and opinions that greatly enhance our lives. However, it can be tempting to stereotype new colleagues or clients, or to make assumptions about them based on just a few pieces of information. This is especially true if you haven't had much time to get to know them well. -
Mistake 9: Assuming That Your Message has Been Understood Always take time to check that people have understood your message. For example, when you send out an email, you could encourage people to respond with questions, or to reply if they haven't understood part of your message -
Mistake 10: Accidentally Violating Others' Privacy Have you ever forwarded a sensitive email to the wrong person, or sent an incorrect attachment? These kinds of errors can cause serious commercial problems, violate people's privacy, and lead to embarrassment and confusion. To avoid these problems, write sensitive messages before you select the recipient, and then double check their email address. If your email program automatically fills in email addresses, you could switch this feature off, so that you must consciously choose the right recipient. -
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
10 Common Communication Mistakes
Mistake 1: Not Editing Your Work Mistakes with spelling, tone, and grammar make you look careless. That's why it's essential to check all of your communications before you send them.
Mistake 2: Delivering Bad News by Email- Written communication channels don't allow you to soften difficult messages with nonverbal cues (such as body language), and they don't allow you to deal immediately with intense emotions. -
Mistake 3: Avoiding Difficult Conversations At some point, you will need to give negative feedback. It's tempting to try to avoid these conversations, but this can cause further problems – in particular, you may let small problems grow into big ones. -
Mistake 4: Not Being Assertive Assertiveness is about stating what you need, while considering the wants and needs of others. You may not always get your way when you're assertive, but you stand a better chance of getting it, or of reaching a compromise, because you've been clear about your needs. Use our Bite-Sized Training session on Assertiveness Skills to identify your needs, and to practice assertive communication. -
Mistake 5: Reacting, not Responding Have you ever shouted at a colleague in frustration, or sent a terse reply to an email, without thinking your point through? If so, you're likely to have reacted emotionally, instead of responding calmly -
More tomorrow
Mistake 2: Delivering Bad News by Email- Written communication channels don't allow you to soften difficult messages with nonverbal cues (such as body language), and they don't allow you to deal immediately with intense emotions. -
Mistake 3: Avoiding Difficult Conversations At some point, you will need to give negative feedback. It's tempting to try to avoid these conversations, but this can cause further problems – in particular, you may let small problems grow into big ones. -
Mistake 4: Not Being Assertive Assertiveness is about stating what you need, while considering the wants and needs of others. You may not always get your way when you're assertive, but you stand a better chance of getting it, or of reaching a compromise, because you've been clear about your needs. Use our Bite-Sized Training session on Assertiveness Skills to identify your needs, and to practice assertive communication. -
Mistake 5: Reacting, not Responding Have you ever shouted at a colleague in frustration, or sent a terse reply to an email, without thinking your point through? If so, you're likely to have reacted emotionally, instead of responding calmly -
More tomorrow
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Life's lessons
Some of my best lessons come from real life experiences and/or observations.
This weekend my family and I went out for pizza and a play on Sunday.
We discovered this great little brick oven pizza restaurant in Matunuck R.I. , right near the ocean and the theatre.
The young man that made the pizza and stoked the oven was somewhere in his mid- twenty's. We sat outside on the picnic table and as the family held conversations I was facing the young man and was watching him get the oven ready and then make the pizzas. He brought them over to the table one at a time, we tried four or five different kinds. He was very polite and the pizza was outstanding.
Before we left I went inside to pay the bill and when I came out I went up to the young man and asked him his name., Mike he said. I told him that we all enjoyed each pizza and went to give him a $10.00 tip.
He pulled away and said I can't accept that and I said sure you can , you did a great job. He said I will take it and go inside and put it in our tip bowl. When he came out I said that he was very good and that he made good pizza and he said " thanks I take pride in what I do".
Now here was a young man in his middle twenty's that was working in front of a hot brick oven and for the most part it appeared to me that he had very little supervision and one, he refused to take the tip for himself- he could of very easily put the money in his pocket for himself but he did the right thing he put it in the tip bowl for all to share.
And Two he took pride in what he did and it showed. It may look like just a pizza job to most but he took pride in his work.
Wonderful lessons... ( and great pizza! )
This weekend my family and I went out for pizza and a play on Sunday.
We discovered this great little brick oven pizza restaurant in Matunuck R.I. , right near the ocean and the theatre.
The young man that made the pizza and stoked the oven was somewhere in his mid- twenty's. We sat outside on the picnic table and as the family held conversations I was facing the young man and was watching him get the oven ready and then make the pizzas. He brought them over to the table one at a time, we tried four or five different kinds. He was very polite and the pizza was outstanding.
Before we left I went inside to pay the bill and when I came out I went up to the young man and asked him his name., Mike he said. I told him that we all enjoyed each pizza and went to give him a $10.00 tip.
He pulled away and said I can't accept that and I said sure you can , you did a great job. He said I will take it and go inside and put it in our tip bowl. When he came out I said that he was very good and that he made good pizza and he said " thanks I take pride in what I do".
Now here was a young man in his middle twenty's that was working in front of a hot brick oven and for the most part it appeared to me that he had very little supervision and one, he refused to take the tip for himself- he could of very easily put the money in his pocket for himself but he did the right thing he put it in the tip bowl for all to share.
And Two he took pride in what he did and it showed. It may look like just a pizza job to most but he took pride in his work.
Wonderful lessons... ( and great pizza! )
Monday, August 5, 2013
Football Hall of Fame Coach Bill Parcells
Some quotes from Hall of Fame coach Bill Parcels...
I think confrontation is healthy, because it clears the air very quickly.
When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know.
If you have fun, fine. It's not all life and death.
Nowadays, if you are afraid of confrontation, you are not going to do very well.
I just try to do the best job I possibly can - put the blinders on, go to work and be the best you can possibly be. Once you have done everything that you possibly can - you've put forth your greatest effort - then I can live with whatever's next.
I can't live my life worrying about something that might never happen.
Don't worry about it. It's just a bunch of guys with an odd-shaped ball.
I was fighting every windmill, especially when I was in college.
I think confrontation is healthy, because it clears the air very quickly.
When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know.
If you have fun, fine. It's not all life and death.
Nowadays, if you are afraid of confrontation, you are not going to do very well.
I just try to do the best job I possibly can - put the blinders on, go to work and be the best you can possibly be. Once you have done everything that you possibly can - you've put forth your greatest effort - then I can live with whatever's next.
I can't live my life worrying about something that might never happen.
Don't worry about it. It's just a bunch of guys with an odd-shaped ball.
I was fighting every windmill, especially when I was in college.
Friday, August 2, 2013
20 things succesful people always do
20 things successful people always do.
- Tell the truth.
- Demand the truth.
- Act in the best interest of their organization.
- Get results through others.
- Celebrate the success of others.
- Challenge the status quo.
- Press into the future while honoring the past.
- Try.
- Receive criticism gracefully.
- Learn.
- Inspire.
- Improve.
- Encourage.
- Listen more than speak.
- Take responsibility.
- Show gratitude.
- Pursue clarity and specificity.
- Engage in self-reflection.
- Act in alignment with who they are.
- Rest.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Some things customers love
Return phone calls promptly. Since so many people don’t return calls, you automatically look good when you do.
Do what you say you are going to do
Do things when you say you’re going to do them.
Underpromise and overdeliver.
Be accessible.
Be credible, establish that trust right away.
Appearance counts. Perception is reality, and the reality is that people do judge a book by its cover. Show empathy.
Remember the best customers are your currents ones.
If you make a mistake, it’s not enough to say, “I’m sorry.”
Promote customers’ products and services. By getting business for your clients, you ensure you will have a customer for life.
Do things for the customer’s convenience not yours.
The easier you can make it for your customer to do business with you, the more business you will have.
Determine all the ways you can eliminate the hassle factor.
Only by knowing your customers’ wants and needs can you successfully grow your business and be totally customer-oriented.
No matter what your customer needs, try to find it for them — even if it has nothing to do with your side of the business.
Shower customers with kindness.
Speak your customers’ language. If you use jargon your customers can’t understand, they won’t use you.
Have a great attitude.
Treat your employees well. If they are treated poorly, there is a good chance your customers will also get poor service.
Give your customer what they want, when they want it and how they want it.
Give back to your best customers.
Don’t show an attitude of indifference to your customers.
Do what you say you are going to do
Do things when you say you’re going to do them.
Underpromise and overdeliver.
Be accessible.
Be credible, establish that trust right away.
Appearance counts. Perception is reality, and the reality is that people do judge a book by its cover. Show empathy.
Remember the best customers are your currents ones.
If you make a mistake, it’s not enough to say, “I’m sorry.”
Promote customers’ products and services. By getting business for your clients, you ensure you will have a customer for life.
Do things for the customer’s convenience not yours.
The easier you can make it for your customer to do business with you, the more business you will have.
Determine all the ways you can eliminate the hassle factor.
Only by knowing your customers’ wants and needs can you successfully grow your business and be totally customer-oriented.
No matter what your customer needs, try to find it for them — even if it has nothing to do with your side of the business.
Shower customers with kindness.
Speak your customers’ language. If you use jargon your customers can’t understand, they won’t use you.
Have a great attitude.
Treat your employees well. If they are treated poorly, there is a good chance your customers will also get poor service.
Give your customer what they want, when they want it and how they want it.
Give back to your best customers.
Don’t show an attitude of indifference to your customers.
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