Breaking a Habit- Step 4

4. Replacement

Now that you’ve become aware of your habit and are taking steps to remove it from your everyday life, you must ensure that the habit won’t ever return.
Withdrawal from any activity causes the reward centers in our brain to crave stimulation, even if it’s negative or harmful, so you must counteract this with positive replacements such as hobbies, physical activities, or creativity. How do you fulfill yourself?
People overcome with bad habits don’t believe in themselves enough to change; every day you must consciously choose to be the person you want to be. A morning stretch is a much better habit than that first cigarette of the day, don’t you think?

However helpful these tips are, the most important part of breaking a bad habit for good is really wanting to quit on a deep personal level in order to move on with your life.

Most people have to hit a “rock bottom,” when their lives have become so desperate that they have no choice but to face their problems or suffer dire consequences.

But you don’t have to. Just think about how much better your life will be without your bad habit, and start making a change today.

Breaking a Habit- Steps 2 and 3 of fours Steps

2. Cold Turkey

If you’re well aware of your habit and it still gets the better of you, you may need to rearrange your life a little bit. Try tracking your habit: keep a list of when, where, and why your habit appears so you can more effectively remove the behavior from your life.

This may mean taking different routes to work  and , what I think is most important- avoiding certain people who tend to bring out your bad side for a while, until you feel confident that the habit is kicked.

If your habit involves substances such as alcohol, cigarettes, or marijuana, this means immediately and completely abstaining from it, and even suffering through withdrawal OR just being totally negative in your work and the people around you. Being negative and paranoid in your work is the number one issue in business.
But this is good; it’s the first step in becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.

3. The Tier Method

Self-control is like a muscle that needs to be strengthened through practice. If you find that you can’t give up a habit in one fell swoop — which can actually increase cravings and put you at risk for relapse — you may need to wean yourself off of a certain behavior.
The most popular way of doing this is by systematically cutting back your intake by half at regular intervals. For example, if you’re used to drinking 30 beers a week, force yourself to only drink 15 for a given period of time. Eventually, when you feel you’re ready, lower it to 7-8, then 3-4, etc. until you’re no longer compelled to overindulge and you can exert control over your habit.

 By putting your habit (or addiction) in hindsight, you’ll begin to see the beauty of the present moment (most addicts are blind) and enjoy a new-found freedom of choice.

Breaking a Habit- Step 1 of 4 Steps

Do you find yourself unconsciously biting your nails, fidgeting, procrastinating, or reaching for a cigarette? Have you ever tried to quit, only to relapse within a few days?

You’re not alone.

 Many people unknowingly acquire bad habits that continue for months, or even years, and never do anything to change their life. But no matter how long you’ve harbored your habit, you can always break free. Here’s a short list of the most effective ways to break any bad habit.

1. Awareness

The first step to breaking a habit is to become aware of its existence. Surprisingly, many people never reach this step; some habits form as early as childhood, often picked up from mimicking parents or guardians, and seem completely normal.

These habits are the hardest to break, and you may require a little help from your friends and loved ones.

Ask them if they’ve ever noticed any bad habits of yours (they’ll want to know of theirs, too). Once you’ve become aware of the habit, visualize yourself in a tempting situation and mentally practice good behavior over the bad habit.

If you can dream it, you can do it.

People helping people

This past Sunday Arpin Van Lines and Cardi's Furniture teamed up once again to hold a drive for disaster victims, this time it was for Oklahoma.

This was the fourth time that we have teamed up to help in wake of a disaster , first their was Katrina, then Haiti and Sandy and now the terrible tornado in Oklahoma.

Each time we ask the general public for help here in New England the response is overwhelming. From the volunteers that come out to the all of the donations that we take in it is heart warming.
This time we will end up with about four trailer loads of water and diapers and paper towels and power bars that will work their way into the hands of people in need.

People helping people.

In the end that is what it is all about, I do believe in the the time of disaster people put their differences aside and work side by side to get things done. I only wish that it did not take a disaster to happen for it to occur.
Now a days people pick their sides and draw a line in the sand and things never get done.

When we realize that we are all the same and that we are all vulnerable and need each other and drop the defenses and animosity we can do great things. When we do these drives all kind of people show up to help and contribute, we do not ask each other if we are a Republican or a Democrat or who we vote for, who cares. We just pitch in and help.

I know that it sounds all lollipops and roses but if we can ever find that kind of working relationship in our day to day business life and in our politics as well as our personal life we all be better off.

People helping people, working together.. what a concept- that is what our fore fathers thought when we started this great experiment called the United States of America- United -

Check it out here...

http://www.foxprovidence.com/dpps/news/local_news/region_3/west-warwick-cardis-tornado-relief-drive_6181490

Memorial Day

Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday which occurs every year on the final Monday of May.
Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.  Formerly known as Decoration Day, it originated after the American Civil War to commemorate the Union and Confederate soldiers who died in the Civil War. By the 20th century Memorial Day had been extended to honor all Americans who have died while in the military service. It typically marks the start of the summer vacation season, while Labor Day marks its end.
Many people visit cemeteries and memorials, particularly to honor those who have died in military service. Many volunteers place an American flag on each grave in national cemeteries.

By the early 20th century, Memorial Day was an occasion for more general expressions of memory, as people visited the graves of their deceased relatives in church cemeteries, whether they had served in the military or not. It also became a long weekend increasingly devoted to shopping, family gatherings, fireworks, trips to the beach, and national media events.

Annual Decoration Days for particular cemeteries are held on a Sunday in late spring or early summer in some rural areas of the American South, notably in the mountains. In cases involving a family graveyard where remote ancestors as well as those who were deceased more recently are buried, this may take on the character of an extended family reunion to which some people travel hundreds of miles. People gather on the designated day and put flowers on graves and renew contacts with kinfolk and others. There often is a religious service and a "dinner on the ground," the traditional term for a potluck meal in which people used to spread the dishes out on sheets or tablecloths on the grass. It is believed that this practice began before the American Civil War and thus may reflect the real origin of the "memorial day" idea.

Memorial Day is not to be confused with Veterans Day; Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving, while Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans, living or dead.

Responsibilty

Responsibility:

Supervision limits the responsibility of every individual, but as human beings we cannot entirely do without it. Every person can and must have freedom in his work as in his life as a whole, in order to be able to assume responsibility. Every individual needs responsibility, for without it he loses interest and joy in his activities. We say that a person "takes on" responsibility. When we have the feeling that we can assume still more responsibility, then in my opinion we will find the means and ways to do this.

Mistakes

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” George Bernard Shaw

Allowing ourselves to make mistakes is the only way we can allow ourselves to try, learn, and do new things. It is more honorable and useful than doing nothing. But it takes Thoughtful preparation and patience, and often a sense of humor

But doing nothing is worse than making a mistake by far. It keeps us stagnant and, at times, bored. It keeps us from learning and growing. It keeps us from connecting with other people and stretching beyond what we know.

Simple Awareness

Out of all the books I have read and speakers that I have heard this comes closest to what I hope is the way that I try look at life and people and situations- the link below is about a nine minute video, I hope that you can find the time to view it.

In 2005, author David Foster Wallace was asked to give the commencement address to the 2005 graduating class of Kenyon College. However, the resulting speech didn't become widely known until 3 years later, after his tragic death. It is, without a doubt, some of the best life advice we've ever come across, and perhaps the most simple and elegant explanation of the real value of education.
We made this video, built around an abridged version of the original audio recording, with the hopes that the core message of the speech could reach a wider audience who might not have otherwise been interested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmpYnxlEh0c

Some quotes

Some of my favorite quotes for leaders are:

• A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit -- Arnold H. Glasgow
• I praise loudly, I blame softly -- Catherine II of Russia
• Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress -- Mohandas Gandhi
• A long dispute means that both parties are wrong -- Voltaire
• The least questioned assumptions are often the most questionable -- Paul Broca

Keeping Your Door Open

Leaders who have an open door focus on having the kind of dialog and relationships with others that make people comfortable in their presence. They recognize that they are responsible for setting the tone. Not only is the door to their office open, they also have an:

 
Open heart with which to welcome and understand others. This means that conversations are easy and flowing, with the leader’s attention placed on others and an attitude of “Lets see what I can learn from this person” and “How might I understand their point of view on a deeper level?”

 
Open mind that is curious and non-judgmental. An open mind encourages others to say exactly what they need to say, and to bring forward new, and sometimes crazy ideas that just might have a grain of reality and truth to them. Leaders with an open mind tend to know the things that are important for their success (or detract from it) because others are willing to tell them.

 
Open eyes that help them to see clearly. Leaders with open minds don’t deceive themselves about their value or their power. They can clearly see how they impact their organizations and are always aware of how their presence influences others or shuts them out.

 
Open ears with which to listen deeply. The leaders with open ears listen beyond the words that are said; they are alert to nuances, including what is not said. They notice when it’s time to surface hidden elephants and when the attempt to do so isn’t worth it.

 
Keeping your door open requires your full presence, eye contact, and body language that says “I’m here, and I’m listening to you”. Think about it. Do you need to make the effort to open your door wider?

17 Ways To Be Happier At Work

1. Don't compare yourself to others.

2. Never obsess over things you cannot control.

3. Know and keep your personal limits and boundaries.

4. Don't over commit yourself or your team. 

5. Remember you get the same amount of time every day as everyone else. 

6. Don't take yourself so seriously; nobody else does.

7. Daydream more rather than less..

8. Don't bother with hate; it's not worth the effort.

9. Make peace with your past lest it create your future.

10. Don't try to "win" every argument.

11. Remember that nobody is in charge of your happiness except you.

12. Smile and laugh more frequently.

13. Don't waste precious energy on malice and gossip.

14. Don't worry what others think about you; it's none of your business.

15. Remember that however bad (or good) a situation is, it will inevitably change.

16. Trash everything in your work area that isn't useful or beautiful.

17. Believe that the best is yet to come, no matter what.

Something Gone Wrong

I notice that their are two kinds of people when things go wrong..

Those that start to blame others right away and point the finger and lose it.

And those that gather the facts and start to think of ways to solve the problem. Then after they have a few options under their belt they start to self reflect on what they could have done to prevent it from happening again.

There will always be mess ups, especially in the household moving business. There is just too many hands in one move and too many chances for human error. It is how you react to the mess up that separates you from the rest. Some a small issues others may be pretty big and carry with them a domino of issues. What to do about it when you are in the moment is what matters.

Do you start to go into a defensive mode or do you start to figure a way to solve it, to make it better?

When something goes wrong someone needs to be a leader , to step up and show confidence. Others are watching and listening, your customer, your labor and the people around you. How you react to the unexpected is what defines you are a leader and as a professional.

Remember that you will always have things thrown at you and yes someone should have caught it before you and should have prepared you. Someone else may have dropped the ball well before you ever even got involved but now you are in involved.

You can go either way, show calm and gather the facts and start to think of solutions and move on ..
or get angry and start to point the blame.

Which do you do?

Work on it, just like you do anything else. When you feel yourself starting to lose it, reflect back and think of what you could of done or said that would of been a better way to react.

From there you will start to improve as a professional and as a person.

Help put the fire out- do not add fuel. Remember others are watching and listening.

BE A LEADER

20 reasons why Leaders and Drivers Fail

1. Stagnant pool of friends. Keep your current friends and develop new.
2. Disconnecting with others due to the blindness of power.
3. Failure to build strong teamwork.
4. Neglecting to develop skills, both theirs and those of others.
5. Needing to outshine others rather than letting others shine.
6. Confusing leadership with management.
7. Cowardice. It takes courage to lead. If you don’t think so, you haven’t led.
8. Brown nosing those above and neglecting those below.
9. Too much doing and not enough helping others do.
10. Withdrawal.
11. Over-promising.
12. Fence sitting.
13. Lack of clarity.
14. Lack of follow through.
15. Favoritism.
16. Blaming.
17. Rejecting uncomfortable ideas.
18. Excluding themselves from expectations others must meet.
19. Lack of alignment with board members and organizational values.
20. Relying on authority

Confidence

Lack of confidence is the dirty secret in top leaders. Insecure leaders often cover insecurities with strutting. Cocky is compensation for lack of confidence.

Cocky is phony confidence.

Puffing up, putting down, posturing, excuse making, and negative comparisons express – lack of confidence – cockiness.

The need to feel superior means you aren’t.

Confidence vs. Cocky

1. Invites in – Pushes away.
2. Inspires – Insults.
3. Relaxed – Stressed.
4. One of – One above.
5. Lifts up – Pushes down.
6. Accepts – Rejects.
7. Releases – Controls.
8. Belonging – Alone.
9. Joy – Fear.
10. Transparent – Phony

More on Leadership

Leadership is earned through action. Leadership occurs because of things you do, not because of a position you hold. You may have heard, or read that leadership isn’t granted, it is earned – and that is completely true. You are only leading if people are choosing to follow you. Here is a question to challenge your behavior related to this principle: If you were arrested for being a leader, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

• Your job title doesn’t really matter. We all know people with the title that aren’t leading, and we all know people who don’t have, nor do they want, the position, yet they are leading all the time. When leaders have the title, they recognize what the title is, and then go about the real work of leading.

Leadership isn’t an individual activity – you can’t do it alone. And yet, leaders act as if they can all the time. They micro-manage. They keep work for themselves. They don’t delegate effectively. They take the credit for the work, effort and ideas of others. You are leading others, so you must engage them – not only can’t you do it alone, but why would you want to? You have a team – engage them!

• You aren’t in control – leadership is a game of influence. You can’t make your team members do, think, or say anything, they choose. You have control over your thoughts, behaviors, emotions and choices – everything else (which is most everything!) is a matter of influence. You aren’t going it alone, but with others. And others aren’t in your control. The best leaders remember this and act from a place of influence

Leadership

Leadership isn’t about us – it’s about our team. Someone asked me once how my writing connected with the concept of Servant leadership. I told them it was completely connected, even though I seldom use that phrase. The concept of servant leadership is that as a leader we are to serve those we lead. It really can’t be any other way. This doesn’t mean we simply do what will make people happy or like us – when we truly understand that the leader’s work isn’t about ourselves, we use that perspective to serve the best interests of those we lead over the long term.

• The best thing you can do for your team is believe in their potential. Without question the best thing we can do for others is to believe in them and their potential. If we don’t see it, we won’t give them our best. Help your team members see themselves as winners – not to make them cocky or over-confident, but so they have the quiet confidence and motivation to become their best selves.

Leadership isn’t about us – it’s about the goal. Leaders exist to move people towards a desired future outcome. We can call it a goal, a mission, a vision or a target – whatever words you use – our job is to take people, teams and results to a place they weren’t before. Whether you want to answer phones faster, make things cheaper, reduce costs or create brand new things, leaders are in the business of improvement and growth. Let me say it again, the best leaders know it isn’t about them (or who gets the credit), it is about the goal.

• The status quo requires no leadership. Inherent, but unstated in the principle above is that if things were perfect, we wouldn’t need leaders. If we are in the business of improvement and growth, then as leaders we are in the change business, and a large part of our time should be about creating the change that is needed/desired.

From our Road Warrior.....( Household mover- Skip )

Road Warrior has left a new comment on your post "Finding the Inner Kid":

I'm going associate this with our industry....IMAGINE,a driver showing up to your house that's pissed off or has a bad attitude,things will just get worse from there...Then,IMAGINE,a driver who is looking forward to getting to the house,playing the games to make this move fun???Attitude is what I'm talking about,we just need to go back to the childhood attitude where EVERYTHING was an adventure.You'll be surprised as how well every one will receive you...MAKE IT FUN!

Finding the Inner Kid

Find the Inner kid.

One of the blessings of having children and being a parent , or being a grandparent, is we get to view the world through the eyes of children once again.
That innocence and wonderful look of wonder in everything around.

Somewhere along the way we all lose that, we " grow up ".

When I say find the inner kid, that is what I refer to.
It gets harder and harder to do with as our responsibilities grow but when you have children you tend to remember that it is not about "stuff" it is just about enjoying everything around you.
And it is the uninhibited unconditional love that you receive from a child that is the most special thing that you will ever experience and therefore you return the same.

On my most stressful days of work it would melt away when I spent time with my kids when they were young.
Don't get me wrong I would need an hour or so to decompress on some days but sooner or later they would capture my imagination again and point me in the right direction.
There was one afternoon that I took off just to run around with my son when he was about 5 or 6 playing make believe swords and just laying around looking up at the clouds. They help us to remember.
And many other fond memories with bit my daughter and my son while growing up, from dancing in the living room to building tree forts and fishing.
Now I get to see the world again like that with my 4 year old grandson. We play good guy bad guys in the back yard every Sunday.

Try to remember that we are all just visiting... and to truly enjoy what we have

FIND THE INNER KID.

Me time

Everybody needs " ME TIME".

What do YOU enjoy?
Sitting outside on a nice calm day and reading a book?
Watching your favorite team on TV?
Going for a walk or a bike ride?
Barbecuing on the grill?
 What ever is be sure to make the time to do it. Do not give yourself guilt or allow others to give you guilt or a hard time. You do not owe anybody any excuses or reasons. Just do it.

Take the time to do something that you enjoy. Turn off the noise around you and most important in your head.

Hoe about sitting and just staring at the ocean and listening to the waves?
or going to movie or maybe even renting the series on DVD that you enjoyed so much and running through all of them?
Having dinner with a friend or your loved ones?

You deserve it..you need it. Life is short and you need to take a deep breath and step away from the rush around and problems and dept.

What is your favorite way to unwind and disappear?

DO IT.... find the inner kid.

POWER

 You might not be fully aware of the times that powerlessness grips you. Watch for these signs in your thoughts and words.

“There is nothing I (we) can do about it”: There is always something you can do, even if it means to consciously choose to not let something get under your skin. What choices can you personally make about how you’ll feel about a situation?

“It’s his (hers, their) fault we’re not able to move ahead”: While there might be some truth here, you might also have a role to play. What can you do even in the face of “their fault”?

“I’m bailing out”: My personal favorite. It’s all too easy to bail and go somewhere else, but consider what it might mean to stay and make a difference by catalyzing and leading important changes.

Remember that there is always something you can do. It might mean changing your mind about the situation, looking at it differently, asking others how they can help or recognizing that you feel powerless and letting go of your need to control something that you can’t.

Take responsibility: Acknowledge that you might be playing a victim role, and take on an attitude of “What can I do?” This question can free you from chains that hold you in place. If you think broadly enough about it, you’ll realize that your personal attitude, filters, emotions or thoughts come into play here. Changing the way you view yourself in relationship to the situation can be freeing.

Enlist the help of others: You don’t need to be alone in this. Ask for help from trusted advisers. Test your assumptions about the situation that’s making you feel powerless by asking others what they think. Don’t be defensive about what you can’t do — instead, listen and consider ideas suggested by trustworthy colleagues. Stay open to seeing things another way, and you might find a way forward.

Let go: This truly is the hidden secret to freedom from feeling powerless, and it’s the hardest for control-oriented leaders to do. Letting go requires deep thinking and (sometimes) a lot of time to feel the liberation of realizing that the thing that’s making you feel helpless is gripping you in an unhealthy way. You might see that the clutch of this thing is overbearing and not worth your energy. Then, you need to decide to let it go and accept whatever outcome that causes.

Leaders who take back their power by choosing to think or act differently about a situation that they feel they can’t control might find that they’ve freed up emotional space to focus on things that are most important to them and their organizations.

You have more power than you might think. You have the power to choose how you view a situation, rather than feel victimized.

Personal

It's not personal - it's business- your taking it personal.
(Line from Godfather 1 )

Sometimes you have to make tough decisions in business, you are best served to push aside your personal feelings and only think of your business. It is easier said then done at times.
We are all human and have likes and dislikes, we get upset and our reaction may be to get revenge or to shun certain people.
Don't do it.

Make your decisions on what is right for your business, your overall profitability.
Weigh out all the options and take emotions out of it.

Actually to quote the Godfather again... Keep your friends close and your enemy closer.

(The Godfather has many life's lessons)

If you strike out solely for revenge and hurt yourself what have you accomplished?
Live to see another day, let it roll off your back and move on. Work with what you have, know a person's personality and work with it.
This is very important for road drivers because you are constantly working with new labor, new personalities. And you do not always have a second option. You need to work with what you have because in the end YOU are responsible.

That said - when all else fails sometimes you just have to cut bait.

It is not personal - it's business -


 -

Atta Boy

My old boss would say " One ah shit wipes out 10 atta boys"

That is more true today then ever.

We are all under the microscope or as David Arpin puts it " The Fish Bowl".

We are as good as the job we do today.. that is the reality.
The competition is stiff and loyalty will only go so far.

What have you done for me lately?

If you spend to much time patting yourself on the back you will spend less time looking forward.
Your goal is to always to better. Feel good about the job you do and move on.
When you come right down to it , no matter what business or profession you are in we are all the same when it comes down to it.

People will step in and take your job tomorrow and customers will go elsewhere at a drop of a hat. And with the power of the Internet they can help damage you and your reputation...the fish bowl.

So what can we do? Keep at it and do the best you can every day. That was Paul Arpin's philosophy and it served him well.

From our Driver Skip....

I've NEVER been scared of anything....The last week has been rough,came down with a cold(with a fever,don't understand why it would be called a "cold"with a fever?)...Well?I took a bunch of over the counter cold meds,and went to bed around 3 pm yesterday....Woke up to the clock saying 7:15,thinking I was late to meet my help scared the begeebers out of me....I'm always at residence at least an hour early,and,now,I'm headed for problems....Climbed out of the closet(sleeper)and called my help....Only to discover it was 7:15 pm,still had 10 and 1/2 hours to sleep....Then there was the many times of napping on my steering wheel.You all know,rest area,tired,but not enough for 10 hours off,just want to close your eye's for and hour....Pull up behind another truck(with his clearance lights on)and wake up looking out the windsheild at TAIL LIGHTS!Jump on the brakes thinking,RUT ROH,only to discover you were sleeping and not running into another truck....Butt grabbed the seat and needed help getting it loose....DANG.
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Walking the walk

About 35- 40 years ago my father- in- law took a job selling cars for a major car dealership.
My father-in-law is a honest a man as you ever want to meet.
He had a young family at the time and he was doing real good in his new job.
People , customers, gravitated to him.

Problem was his new bosses, the owners of the dealership, did not have the same character.

The first month my father-in-law lead the sales team and was winning over his customers. Mostly because he simply cared.

His bosses never allowed the salespeople to follow up with their customers once they sold a car, and this bothered my father-in-law and he thought that it was not right. He wanted to stand behind what he sold and stay involved. He also never strong armed his customers.

One day his bosses and upper management was strong arming one of his customers to the point where the man was beginning to have tears in his eyes.
My father-in-law walked him out of the dealership and went back in himself and said that he quit.
He told them that they were unethical and did not agree with their philosophy and how they treated people.

How hard was must that of been?
Here was a man with a young family to support and he needed a job but he knew that he could not work for people like that.

That is walking the walk.

There are many times that we may find ourselves in a similar situation and to stand up is tough but it is the right thing.

Oh yea my father-in-law went to work for another major car dealership and within one month was promoted to General Manager, the other guys asked him to come back and he never did.
35 years later he retired from as General Manager with a fine dinner honoring him where every person in the room stood up, from the mechanics to the people that wash the cars and every salesperson and they gave testimony to what a good man he was and spoke about how he was a honest and hard working man and how he helped each and every one of them.
 And he left behind a book of hundreds and hundreds loyal customers that went back to him year after year.

That's walking the Walk.

Ways Bosses can foster relationships

Create values standards.
. Since managing employee attitudes is difficult (attitudes are primarily intrinsically driven), great bosses define values in behavioral terms. This creates clarity on how a good corporate citizen behaves and enables values to be observable, tangible, and measurable. Employees know exactly what’s expected of them when, for example, integrity means one demonstrates behaviors such as “I don’t lie, cheat, or steal” or “I keep my commitments.” When bosses and team members demonstrate these behaviors, relationships bloom.

Demand civility & encourage validation. Nothing erodes workplace safety and inspiration more than personal bickering, dismissiveness, or bullying – from boss or team members! Great bosses demand civility by ensuring valued behaviors are demonstrated in every interaction. When civility is firmly embedded in the work environment, great bosses push for validation – honoring others’ efforts and ideas regularly. Note that high performing, values aligned teams debate (sometimes loudly) ideas & solutions often but they never discount a team member or their boss. Civility builds relationships.

Appreciate personal lives and passions. Great bosses genuinely appreciate each team member’s unique contributions and passions outside of the workplace. Great bosses know & ask about personal and family events, milestones, and celebrations. For example, one great boss of mine asked the team if we’d support one member’s soccer coaching responsibility every Thursday afternoon. We did! For two months, this team member left at 3pm on soccer days – but they managed their workload, came in early and never missed a deadline during the season.

Demonstrate “tough love.” Great bosses don’t let themselves or team members “off the hook” for meeting goal commitments. Everyone must maintain their contributions to team success – or the whole organization suffers. Where able, great bosses and team members refine the plan to deal with unexpected circumstances. AND, team commitments are kept, day in and day out.

Relationships

RELATIONSHIPS

 Great bosses know that positive relationships based on shared values create mutual trust and respect in the workplace. They create and maintain positive relationships with team members and expect the same among team members.

Great bosses know that without mutual trust & respect, workplace cooperation disappears. They realize that they must effectively manage employees’ heads, hands, AND hearts. Most leaders are satisfied with managing employees’ hands (getting stuff done) and sometimes their heads (explaining strategy & goals).

Many employees spend more time at work than they do with their family or friends. Great bosses act to maintain a safe, inspiring workplace so employees feel honored at work.

Great bosses also understand that trust & respect is a fragile state; it must be tended & monitored daily with every player to remain healthy and vibrant.

How to Destroy Your Productivity

It's a Wonderful World

Louie Armstrong

Louie was born August 4th 1901

That's right 1901 - he played the trumpet and sang- his biggest hit was It's a Wonderful World.
When he sang it - you felt it-

He believed it and he was a black man born in 1901-

The song came out in 1960- there was still segregation and the civil rights movement was just beginning.

 And yet this mean felt life was wonderful and when you still hear that song you feel it too.
Amazing.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2RbFVRRtqI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2RbFVRRtqI

Conversations

Email and quick and can be very good to communicate BUT nothing will replace a plain old conversation.

There is a time for both.

If you need to communicate fast or with a group of people email is a great tool and can save a lot of time.
If you have difficult news to deliver or need to discuss a complicated situation you still are better served by walking over to that person or giving them a phone call.

During the conversation you can have some give and take and you can imply a lot through your inflictions or your mannerisms or just as important you can pick up on the other person's vibe. Are they put off or  is their body language telling you something?
All things that you can not get through email.

It is too easy to vent or go off on email and even if you have good intentions it may be received wrong.

In the end you will save time and maybe even a friendship if you talk.. yea that's right. Have a good old conversation.
 

Body Language

Body Language is very important.

It is not only what you say, or don't say, the way you look and position yourself tells a lot.
Are you standing or sitting up straight?
Do you make a face of disgust without even knowing it?
Do you look people in the eye when you speak to them and give them your undivided attention?

I have been in meetings where people sit slouched and look totally disinterested. Without saying a word they are already saying - I do not want to be here or I do not care.

When a driver walks into a home for the first time they mind is going a mile a minute.
They want to look around as soon as possible to see what they have in front of them and what needs to be done when. What to attack first, what needs prepping, what needs their personal attention, what existing damage their is..etc etc

But they cannot forget that is also the MOST important time to introduce himself to the customer. His body language speaks to the customer as much if not more then his words.
You need to be conscious of it.

Same when you speak to a fellow employee or customer or client.
How do you look?
How are they perceiving you?

If you are conscious of it , you will find yourself correcting what you do and how you look and soon it will be habit.

What does your body Language say?

FEAR

Do not allow FEAR to control you.

It is so easy to allow fear to effect our life the older that we get.
The more responsibility you have and the more you owe the more you fear.

Once you allow fear to dictate your life you start to lose the real you, what makes YOU special.

It is OK to feel afraid but do not BE afraid...it is natural to have anxiety and to worry as we gain responsibility and especially if you are a parent. All kind of worries will haunt you.

That is why children and through your growing up years life is so much easier and care free, because you have a lot less worries and very little responsibility.

When we fear our every move we also will be less productive and definitely less happy.

Make your goals, work hard, be honest and try not to intentionally hurt anyone...if you follow these rules you will always come out ahead.
Do not give your POWER away. .or give people POWER over you.

Stand for something... or you will fall for anything.

More On Creating Good Habits

4. Develop Self-Discipline

A 2012 study showed that it can take up to 66 days to form a new habit. That makes self-discipline essential.
One way to strengthen your self-discipline is to create a Treasure Map: a collage or visual representation of what you want to achieve. This will remind you why your new positive habit is so important to you. This can be just what you need to get motivated on days when your enthusiasm is waning.

5. Get Support

It can be hard to stick to a new habit when you're on your own. So share your goals with colleagues or friends, and ask them to support you. For example, you could ask them to call you check on your progress. Or, if they share your goal, you could meet them each week to support one another and maintain progress.
Numerous apps have been designed to support people trying to develop new habits. For example, Stickk® was developed by Harvard economists. It allows you to log a goal, and to appoint a mentor to monitor your progress. A quick search online will reveal similar tools.

Key Points

Habits are powerful. They bring about change one step at a time, and they help you ensure that these changes become part of your life.
However, you're far more likely to reach your goal if you make your new habits part of your regular routine. Follow these steps to make good habits stick:

1. Identify what you want to achieve.
2. Build good habits into your routine.
3. Reflect on your habits.
4. Develop self-discipline.
5. Get support.

When you decide to establish new habits in your life, focus on one at a time. If you try to overhaul your entire schedule at once, you'll likely get overwhelmed and quickly revert to old behaviors.