The toughest evaluation

The toughest evaluation we have is the one for ourselves.

I have worked with and known many personalities through the years and the challenge for me is always to try to break down the walls and find common ground.

I try not to judge , as I have said in a past blog everybody has a story. If you have enough time to sit with someone and have an honest conversation you will come to understand them better and in doing so you begin to knock down the walls.

In the process you will actually find out more about yourself because once you understand where people are coming from and why you may feel less judgemental and think to yourself that maybe it was a part in you that jumped to conclusions and in doing so you were at fault.

What has seemed very obvious to me when addressing some one's negatives in a progress report or review is not obvious at all to the person that I am speaking to. They see situations through their own eyes and point of view and some, most, put up their defenses as soon as you begin to criticize.

Taking a honest look in the mirror can be hard.

I find that when someone criticizes me I automatically get angry and start to think of a rhetorical reply. If so  the point- counterpoint discussion begins.
A few minutes or so removed from the conversation I can have some quiet analysis with myself and I may find truth in what was just told me but in the moment my walls come up.

In any relationship each must take a shared responsibility, if who I am speaking to perceives me in the way they do I can not argue it away. The best thing to do is LISTEN. Try to to have an immediate reaction and try thanking them for their honesty.
Give yourself time to absorb it and perhaps address it at a later time.
The worse thing to do is come right back with ... oh yea but you did this...

When you take the time to knock down the walls you begin to form real relationships and when you do that you form friendships that will not only allow you to do more and accomplish more it will give you a feeling of satisfaction that you did something good and may even have helped someone and grown a bit yourself.

The toughest evaluation is our own.....take a honest look at how you handled a situation and try to improve.

Look in the mirror.....