When do you stop learning?
When they throw dirt on you.
If you think that you know it all or that you know more than the next guy ...think again.
Paul Arpin once told me that he was always learning the moving business, right up till the day he passed away. And this man knew more about the moving business than anybody that I have ever known.
Paul always took the time to listen to others, especially those that he respected.
As powerful of a position that he was in and as much as he knew he also knew that you need to stay open to change and just as important you need to stain touch.
Stop, look and LISTEN......always be willing to learn.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Friday, June 27, 2014
Self Guilt and Lack of Confidence
Self Guilt and Lack of Confidence-
Those are the two major reason that I see hold people back from trying to be happy.
They either give them so much self guilt that they stay in bad relationships both personal and in business. Thinking of others is admirable but if you are being abused or help back or disrespected you need to take a good long look at loyalty and what you may be doing to yourself.
And in the long run are you helping or hurting?
The unknown can be freighting so many people stay in relationships because they fear the unknown.
That may be because of a lack of confidence in themselves. So they so put and figure that is life.
It does not have to be.
Be happy.
That should be rule #1
If you are not happy then those around you will not be and you will never reach your true potential.
When you look back you will regret the things that you should have tried much more then the ones that you have tried and fell along the way.
Respect others and respect yourself.
Stop giving yourself guilt and start acting like today may be your last day in this life........cause none of us have a crystal ball but we all know that we are just visiting.
Those are the two major reason that I see hold people back from trying to be happy.
They either give them so much self guilt that they stay in bad relationships both personal and in business. Thinking of others is admirable but if you are being abused or help back or disrespected you need to take a good long look at loyalty and what you may be doing to yourself.
And in the long run are you helping or hurting?
The unknown can be freighting so many people stay in relationships because they fear the unknown.
That may be because of a lack of confidence in themselves. So they so put and figure that is life.
It does not have to be.
Be happy.
That should be rule #1
If you are not happy then those around you will not be and you will never reach your true potential.
When you look back you will regret the things that you should have tried much more then the ones that you have tried and fell along the way.
Respect others and respect yourself.
Stop giving yourself guilt and start acting like today may be your last day in this life........cause none of us have a crystal ball but we all know that we are just visiting.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Self Disipline
Self-Discipline Thought #1: Self-discipline isn’t convenient, it’s commitment.
It’s not all that difficult to make a commitment. What’s difficult is keeping and managing that commitment. The real work begins after the commitment is made and the deadlines and demands start approaching.Self-discipline is the price I pay to keep my commitment. Self-discipline is the action I take on a regular basis to follow through on a commitment. Self-discipline means because I said yes to something, I will have to say no to other things.
Maybe you’ve committed to write more, or lose some weight, or build a side business. The minute we say yes to commitments like those, we limit our options. We make a decision and then manage that decision to accomplish something that we wouldn’t normally be able to accomplish without the focused effort that comes through self-discipline.
Keeping my options open keeps me on the wandering circle of convenience. Self-discipline keeps me on the path of my promises.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Help someone- Mentor somebody
Mentoring someone has the potential to be of the most rewarding and satisfying things you’ll ever do in your career.
What does an amazing mentor do? When people are asked to describe their most amazing mentors, here are the 14 characteristics most often mentioned:
1. They are “present”.
Amazing mentors are incredibly focused and in the moment. They take a sincere interest in their mentees, and treat their time spent as important. They hold their calls, shut their doors, turn off their phones, and give their mentee 100% undivided attention.
2. They listen.
While you can “feel” when someone is present, listening is the most visible skill most often used to demonstrate presence. Active listening comes across in making eye contact, attentive body language, paraphrasing, and giving encouragement to open up. Great listeners are genuinely curious about learning more, and they listen for understanding, disciplining themselves to suspend their own judgment. Sometimes, that’s all someone needs – just to be heard, and to think things through for themselves. Listening is the ultimate form of respect!
3. They ask awesome questions.
Amazing mentors don’t just tell war stories and spew advice. In addition to listening, they ask awesome questions – lots of them! They use questions as a way to learn more, and more importantly, as a way to help the mentee clarify and solve their own problems.
4. They are role models.
Amazing mentors are always aware of the impact of their behaviors on others. The lessons learned are “do as I do, not just what I say”.
5. They keep their promises and hold their mentee accountable.
Mentoring sessions often end with a list of action items, and amazing mentors are very adept at summarizing who is going to do what by when. Then, at the start of the next session, they will report on what they did and ask the mentee to do the same. By doing so, they are role modeling personal accountability. And, they don’t appreciate it when a mentee hasn’t completed their homework, and will let them know that it’s an expectation and condition of continuing the mentoring relationship.
6. They learn from their mentees.
Amazing mentors learn as much from their mentees and their mentees learn from them – at least they try to.
7. They are humble.
Being asked to be a mentor can be a huge ego trip if you let it be. Amazing mentors realize mentoring is not all about them – it’s about the growth and development of the mentee. Being a role model does not mean having to be seen as perfect. Mentees can learn just as much about your mistakes and shortcomings as they can your successes and strengths. Sharing your mistakes and lessons learned, and what you are doing to develop yourself helps establish trust and gives your mentee permission to be vulnerable.
8. They share amazing stories.
In addition to listening and asking great questions, mentors can teach by telling compelling stories about their own lessons learned. Story telling is an art, and should not be overused – a good rule of thumb is one story per mentoring session, but make it a good one.
9. They give feedback.
When a mentor offers feedback, it’s offered as a gift with the intention of helping the mentee learn about themselves and grow. Amazing mentors – because they take such a genuine interest, listen, and ask such great questions – will learn a lot about what makes a mentee tick. They have the ability and sensitivity to offer specific, sincere, and timely feedback.
10. They are patient.
Amazing mentors remember what it’s like to be new or inexperienced, and will allow their mentees the time to reflect, form insights, make mistakes, learn, and grow at their own pace. While they set high standards and will push a mentee to do more than they thought they could do, they don’t expect unrealistic, overnight improvement.
11. They respect and honor confidentiality.
Amazing mentors expect what “is said in Vegas, stays in Vegas”.
12. They practice “Situational Leadership”.
The same approach shouldn’t be used for every mentee. Some people are less experienced and require more direction and support, while others are more experienced and may just need to be listened to and given a vote of confidence. Amazing mentors vary their approach to the individual and to the situation.
13. They set boundaries.
The best mentors don’t date their mentees, are not friends with their mentees, and know where to draw the line between a trusted professional relationship and an intimate personal relationship.
14. They value diversity.
Amazing mentors don’t just seek or do well with mentees that remind them of themselves when they were younger. They are willing to push themselves out of their comfort zone and mentor those are very different than themselves.
What does an amazing mentor do? When people are asked to describe their most amazing mentors, here are the 14 characteristics most often mentioned:
1. They are “present”.
Amazing mentors are incredibly focused and in the moment. They take a sincere interest in their mentees, and treat their time spent as important. They hold their calls, shut their doors, turn off their phones, and give their mentee 100% undivided attention.
2. They listen.
While you can “feel” when someone is present, listening is the most visible skill most often used to demonstrate presence. Active listening comes across in making eye contact, attentive body language, paraphrasing, and giving encouragement to open up. Great listeners are genuinely curious about learning more, and they listen for understanding, disciplining themselves to suspend their own judgment. Sometimes, that’s all someone needs – just to be heard, and to think things through for themselves. Listening is the ultimate form of respect!
3. They ask awesome questions.
Amazing mentors don’t just tell war stories and spew advice. In addition to listening, they ask awesome questions – lots of them! They use questions as a way to learn more, and more importantly, as a way to help the mentee clarify and solve their own problems.
4. They are role models.
Amazing mentors are always aware of the impact of their behaviors on others. The lessons learned are “do as I do, not just what I say”.
5. They keep their promises and hold their mentee accountable.
Mentoring sessions often end with a list of action items, and amazing mentors are very adept at summarizing who is going to do what by when. Then, at the start of the next session, they will report on what they did and ask the mentee to do the same. By doing so, they are role modeling personal accountability. And, they don’t appreciate it when a mentee hasn’t completed their homework, and will let them know that it’s an expectation and condition of continuing the mentoring relationship.
6. They learn from their mentees.
Amazing mentors learn as much from their mentees and their mentees learn from them – at least they try to.
7. They are humble.
Being asked to be a mentor can be a huge ego trip if you let it be. Amazing mentors realize mentoring is not all about them – it’s about the growth and development of the mentee. Being a role model does not mean having to be seen as perfect. Mentees can learn just as much about your mistakes and shortcomings as they can your successes and strengths. Sharing your mistakes and lessons learned, and what you are doing to develop yourself helps establish trust and gives your mentee permission to be vulnerable.
8. They share amazing stories.
In addition to listening and asking great questions, mentors can teach by telling compelling stories about their own lessons learned. Story telling is an art, and should not be overused – a good rule of thumb is one story per mentoring session, but make it a good one.
9. They give feedback.
When a mentor offers feedback, it’s offered as a gift with the intention of helping the mentee learn about themselves and grow. Amazing mentors – because they take such a genuine interest, listen, and ask such great questions – will learn a lot about what makes a mentee tick. They have the ability and sensitivity to offer specific, sincere, and timely feedback.
10. They are patient.
Amazing mentors remember what it’s like to be new or inexperienced, and will allow their mentees the time to reflect, form insights, make mistakes, learn, and grow at their own pace. While they set high standards and will push a mentee to do more than they thought they could do, they don’t expect unrealistic, overnight improvement.
11. They respect and honor confidentiality.
Amazing mentors expect what “is said in Vegas, stays in Vegas”.
12. They practice “Situational Leadership”.
The same approach shouldn’t be used for every mentee. Some people are less experienced and require more direction and support, while others are more experienced and may just need to be listened to and given a vote of confidence. Amazing mentors vary their approach to the individual and to the situation.
13. They set boundaries.
The best mentors don’t date their mentees, are not friends with their mentees, and know where to draw the line between a trusted professional relationship and an intimate personal relationship.
14. They value diversity.
Amazing mentors don’t just seek or do well with mentees that remind them of themselves when they were younger. They are willing to push themselves out of their comfort zone and mentor those are very different than themselves.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
You gotta love it
I met this young man from Africa and he is already making a difference for others and helping those in need. He is a inspiration for us all. He goes to High school in R.I. and appreciates the little things in life that we all take for granted. He comes form a very poor family and area of Africa and because of that he looks at life a whole lot differently then you and I. Below is a little about the Foundation he started and the country that he is from..
The Project “The Future Starts With Us” was started by Pasific Ntanibindi. Pasific Ntanibindi wants to help former students in Burundi with their school tuition. The idea of helping came from his father Erneste Ntahondereye who is also helping him make fundraising events. The whole project is to build a Youth Center in Burundi. In order to do that we need to start with one student in Bubanza, Burundi. Pasific and Erneste had found a young man who really needs help with school funds. They are making fundraising events where they have discussions such as the history of Burundi. The discussions are usually about why and how we are helping this student. In other countries unlike United states, education is not free many people in Burundi can’t go to school because they have lost a lot during the Civil War. Money is not just important, it’s the key to education right now in Burundi and without it there’s no education for anyone in this country. Many kids drop out of school because they have no money and their families don’t have the support to pay for the child. Pasific Ntanibindi is trying to change this and wants to give a second chance to kids who don’t have one, a life to a person who thought they won’t have one, a future for tomorrow. In addition the tuition is not free, the students are required to do community service such as, help each other with homework, and help the community with it’s needs. The money they fundraise will be sent to Principal Minani Johmari Christopher who will make sure the tuition is paid for a full year. Principal Johmari is also responsible for supplying uniforms, books, and he also has to make sure that the students have a place to sleep and study for 1 year. Principal Johmari will also send report cards, pictures, and updates back to Providence.
http://thefuturestartswithus.wordpress.com/
The Project “The Future Starts With Us” was started by Pasific Ntanibindi. Pasific Ntanibindi wants to help former students in Burundi with their school tuition. The idea of helping came from his father Erneste Ntahondereye who is also helping him make fundraising events. The whole project is to build a Youth Center in Burundi. In order to do that we need to start with one student in Bubanza, Burundi. Pasific and Erneste had found a young man who really needs help with school funds. They are making fundraising events where they have discussions such as the history of Burundi. The discussions are usually about why and how we are helping this student. In other countries unlike United states, education is not free many people in Burundi can’t go to school because they have lost a lot during the Civil War. Money is not just important, it’s the key to education right now in Burundi and without it there’s no education for anyone in this country. Many kids drop out of school because they have no money and their families don’t have the support to pay for the child. Pasific Ntanibindi is trying to change this and wants to give a second chance to kids who don’t have one, a life to a person who thought they won’t have one, a future for tomorrow. In addition the tuition is not free, the students are required to do community service such as, help each other with homework, and help the community with it’s needs. The money they fundraise will be sent to Principal Minani Johmari Christopher who will make sure the tuition is paid for a full year. Principal Johmari is also responsible for supplying uniforms, books, and he also has to make sure that the students have a place to sleep and study for 1 year. Principal Johmari will also send report cards, pictures, and updates back to Providence.
http://thefuturestartswithus.wordpress.com/
Monday, June 23, 2014
Thank you
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Sunday, June 22, 2014
More on Mantra
4) When you notice your mind wandering (it will) just notice it and gently bring your attention back to your breathing and your mantra. Don't think that you are a bad meditator if you don't remain with your word the entire time or even part of the time. The important thing is to gently return to the word when you catch your mind wandering ... or falling asleep.
5) Practice for approximately 10-20 minutes every day (or at least 3-4 times per week). The best times to practice meditation are first thing in the morning and in the afternoon between 4 and 6 o'clock. To enhance your experience, try a little yoga just before meditating. A few sun salutes usually does the trick.
6) Don't think that this has to be any more difficult than it is explained here. There is nothing else to do besides silently repeat your mantra. Don't try to make anything happen. Just be present with your mantra. That's all! You only have one intention while you meditate: Return to your mantra when it occurs to you to do so. There is no other effort involved whatsoever.
6) Don’t set an alarm clock but sit with a clock in view if necessary. It is okay to briefly open your eyes to check the time, then close them back and return to the mantra.
7) Slowly return to normal waking consciousness. Take at least 2 minutes to return. Don't be in a hurry or you will feel the same way you feel when an alarm clock or telephone awakens you out of a dream.
Several things might happen while you are meditating and each is entirely appropriate.
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You might easily repeat the mantra for the entire period that you are meditating. This is fine, but is not necessarily the goal. The goal is that you intend to repeat the word. Whether or not that happens is secondary.
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You might fall asleep. If you do, great. Enjoy it! You will probably have one of the deepest sleeps you have had in a while. Falling asleep while meditating is usually an indication that you need more sleep. You are giving yourself a perfect opportunity to catch up. When you do awaken from sleeping while meditating, be sure to spend a few more minutes going back to the mantra. Otherwise it will feel similar to the way that you feel when you are dreaming and you are abruptly awakened to a phone ringing or some other very jarring sound.
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Another thing that will happen is your mind will fly all over the place with thoughts. Don't be dismayed when this happens. Simply gently return to repeating the mantra. If the thoughts continue ceaselessly, simply intend to slip the mantra gently underneath the thoughts.
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Occasionally, but not very often, your mind will become very still. In that stillness, ideas, insights, perhaps we could call it inspiration or intuition will flood into your mind. Be sure to have a pen and paper ready to write down the interesting thoughts that come to you. Out of that silence sometimes comes exactly what we need to know or do as we progress on our path.
Remember, the quality of a good meditation is not what happens during the meditation. The important issue is how you feel after meditating. If you have more energy, more alertness, if your mind is calmer, more peaceful and you feel happier, this is feedback that your mind/body like the meditation.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Mantra
From Driver of the Year...Skip...
In our life, we see so much negative....I try to find my "Happy Place "at least 15 minutes a day....Simply sit down, clear your mind and find it....Repeat after me....I love my job....Over and over...That's my Mantra....I googled it and found this:
How to Meditate using a mantra
The most important thing is don't try too hard. Don't make a big deal out of this. It is the easiest thing that our mind can do ... perhaps that is why it is so powerful.
1) Find a quiet environment. It is best to be where you won't be disturbed.
2) Sit comfortably in a comfortable chair (don’t lie down) with the eyes closed. Try to be in a place with a minimum amount of noise and light. But don't be concerned with noises. They are not a distraction to meditation (I have meditated in airports, in the car, in boring classes or meetings, and large list of other places. The important thing is to do the process as I describe below.).
3) Begin by sitting in your chair for about 30 seconds of sitting with the eyes closed and just get yourself in tune with your internal environment (do a quick body scan). Next, begin, as effortlessly and silently as possible repeating a word to yourself (not out loud). The word you choose is called a mantra.
a. Examples of words (mantras) to use: still, one, relax, peace, empty, calm, serene, silent, tranquil, spaghetti, or any other word or phrase that is easy to remember (it makes no difference what word you use. It only matters that you proceed with the simple intention of repeating the word, over and over and over.).
b. Simply repeat silently the mantra over and over to yourself.
c. Just let your mind whisper your mantra under your thoughts, over and over and over. Don't try to change your thoughts in any way. Just allow yourself to keep whispering the word silently to yourself.
d. If you have a mind, you can practice mantra meditation
To be continued tomorrow..
Friday, June 20, 2014
Respect and Character
A lot of people seem to believe that respect is a right, something they are entitled to upon birth.
Instead, we need to recognize that respect is something you earn because of your CHARACTER.
I think, also , that we tend to confuse respect with fear.
Power, position, stuff, bling, toys-- these are the sources from which too many guys think respect come from.
A generation or two ago, we respected honesty, being a good provider for your family, being involved in civic organizations and church, or being a good worker in any honest occupation.
I still believe deep down that is what people still ultimately DO respect.
Stay true to yourself, work hard, speak the truth and stay away from the gossip and the negative.
Do not worry about STUFF or positions or titles ...FAMILY MATTERS..CHARACTER COUNTS.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
What a week
This was from last June.....last year. I wrote this and never published it..
The second to the last week of June and the last week is always a nightmare in the moving business, especially in Operations when you try to stuff 20 pounds of potatoes in a 5 lb. sack.
It is the same every year, everyone around the country wants to move the same two weeks.
The past two to three years has been even worse due to the slower off season most agents have down sized their drivers and hauling which makes for less haulers in the busy season.
The other thing that has changed through the years is it seems that people are nastier and meaner for some reason. Everyone wanting to point the finger and blame others rather than work together to solve issues.
Years ago when I dispatched the Northeast I worked very closely with the head of the local operation and in the summer we would meet every morning first thing and go over the work. We would discuss options and make a plan and have a lot of give and take.
We made it happen but it took a lot of teamwork and at times a lot of imagination.
Last week I had people hang up on me, swear at me and just out right demand things without any discussion what so ever of what WE could do to help solve the issues...and these were not our customers they were people that we work with and Ops people around the country.
Tensions are high, I fully understand it and there still are those around that will actually talk to you and discuss options like we use to but mostly there is tension and finger pointing.
Maybe it says something for the times that we live in and the economic climate and the yelling that goes on in our politics. I do not know.
What I do know is little gets accomplished and the stress levels rise.
Paul Arpin would always say.." David, just do a good job" simple words from a simple man who lived those words.
To do a good job we all need each other and we need to work together, both in our respective buildings and out there ..On The Road......be nice to each other people.
And not just when it is easy but more important when it is hard.
The second to the last week of June and the last week is always a nightmare in the moving business, especially in Operations when you try to stuff 20 pounds of potatoes in a 5 lb. sack.
It is the same every year, everyone around the country wants to move the same two weeks.
The past two to three years has been even worse due to the slower off season most agents have down sized their drivers and hauling which makes for less haulers in the busy season.
The other thing that has changed through the years is it seems that people are nastier and meaner for some reason. Everyone wanting to point the finger and blame others rather than work together to solve issues.
Years ago when I dispatched the Northeast I worked very closely with the head of the local operation and in the summer we would meet every morning first thing and go over the work. We would discuss options and make a plan and have a lot of give and take.
We made it happen but it took a lot of teamwork and at times a lot of imagination.
Last week I had people hang up on me, swear at me and just out right demand things without any discussion what so ever of what WE could do to help solve the issues...and these were not our customers they were people that we work with and Ops people around the country.
Tensions are high, I fully understand it and there still are those around that will actually talk to you and discuss options like we use to but mostly there is tension and finger pointing.
Maybe it says something for the times that we live in and the economic climate and the yelling that goes on in our politics. I do not know.
What I do know is little gets accomplished and the stress levels rise.
Paul Arpin would always say.." David, just do a good job" simple words from a simple man who lived those words.
To do a good job we all need each other and we need to work together, both in our respective buildings and out there ..On The Road......be nice to each other people.
And not just when it is easy but more important when it is hard.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
It's all You
You can read and take notes and watch and listen but ultimately it is All YOU.
You are the only one that can change your path...that can adjust your attitude.
I grew up in with alcoholism in my family, still have it in my family. And it help me learn many things. The main thing I did learn id that the person needs to WANT to change in order to start on the road on recovery and sobriety.
The same is for any part of life, YOU need to look in the mirror and truly want to change.
All the books or shows or friends does not matter unless you see it and you want to do something about it.
There is a song " Help me - Help you" in which that is what she sings about- your friends and family or co workers may want to help but you need to help them first by opening up and trying and admitting that you may need help.
The same goes for staying positive- negativity just breads negativity.
Recognize it in yourself- catch yourself when you are talking smack or getting involved in gossip and make it a point to try to stay positive.
If you do I guarantee you that it will come back to you and help your total attitude.
You are the only one that can change your path...that can adjust your attitude.
I grew up in with alcoholism in my family, still have it in my family. And it help me learn many things. The main thing I did learn id that the person needs to WANT to change in order to start on the road on recovery and sobriety.
The same is for any part of life, YOU need to look in the mirror and truly want to change.
All the books or shows or friends does not matter unless you see it and you want to do something about it.
There is a song " Help me - Help you" in which that is what she sings about- your friends and family or co workers may want to help but you need to help them first by opening up and trying and admitting that you may need help.
The same goes for staying positive- negativity just breads negativity.
Recognize it in yourself- catch yourself when you are talking smack or getting involved in gossip and make it a point to try to stay positive.
If you do I guarantee you that it will come back to you and help your total attitude.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
3 Ways to Make a New First Impression with Customers
3 Ways to Make a New First Impression with Customers
- Try to look at things from their eyes. Put yourself in the customer’s shoes. What would you notice about the store, product, service, or in this case, campus, if you were seeing it for the first time as a customer?
- Now, dig a little deeper. Survey your customers to find out what attracted them to your company. Pick their brain about what stood out—and what possibly needs to be changed.
- Continue to look for ways to make “new” first impressions with your customers. Don’t get too comfortable with doing things the way you have always done them—that may not be the impression you want to make in the future
Monday, June 16, 2014
Creating the emotional culture of your workplace
Being intentional and deliberate about the emotional environment you create is a really good idea. That might sound a bit obvious to some of you, but for those who may be a bit skeptical about the impact of emotions on the success of your organization, I recently heard a speaker highlight a study that shows a direct link between an organization’s financial performance and how employees feel in the workplace. That’s as close to proof as you can get to show how important it is to be intentional about the emotional culture you create.
Although you may prefer to deny that emotions have a place at work, if you think about it you know that they influence your thoughts, decisions, actions, behavior and performance. The same is true for those you lead. You have the distinct opportunity to make a difference in the way others feel and shape a culture of high EQ (emotional quotient) through your leadership.
As a leader, people are watching your behavior closely. How you behave has a big impact on how others behave. Why not start with yourself to begin to understand how your emotions get translated into how you act?
Observe yourself real-time as you go about your day. This is kind of like splitting yourself in two parts: the “self-observer you” who is watching as you lead. And the “acting it out you” who is leading. It isn’t easy, but if you can find a way to remind yourself to observe your behavior in real time, you’ll find a lot of rich emotions behind your decisions and actions.
Reflect daily on your decisions, actions, and the thoughts and emotions behind them. Almost every thought will have an emotion associated with it. Name and list the emotions you felt and you’ll be surprised how many you experience in a day! This reflection will not only get you started on better understanding how your emotions impact your leadership, but also provide a basis for understanding others (and having some compassion for the crazy things they do).
Change your thoughts if you need to. We humans are biologically inclined to negativity. By making your thoughts conscious, you have opened the door to changing how you show up. If you’re in a cycle of judging others harshly or thinking and speaking negatively you might find that you can turn your emotions in a more upward spiral. Ask yourself if those negative thoughts are true or how you might think differently (more positively) about those you are judging harshly. When you think differently, you have the opportunity to change the way you treat others for the better (and even the best leaders can get better at this).
Observing your thoughts and actions and learning to turn around negative spirals of thinking can have a big positive impact on how you express your emotions to others as well as the decisions you make. This can be the start of changing the emotional culture of the organization you lead for increased performance and results.
Although you may prefer to deny that emotions have a place at work, if you think about it you know that they influence your thoughts, decisions, actions, behavior and performance. The same is true for those you lead. You have the distinct opportunity to make a difference in the way others feel and shape a culture of high EQ (emotional quotient) through your leadership.
As a leader, people are watching your behavior closely. How you behave has a big impact on how others behave. Why not start with yourself to begin to understand how your emotions get translated into how you act?
Observe yourself real-time as you go about your day. This is kind of like splitting yourself in two parts: the “self-observer you” who is watching as you lead. And the “acting it out you” who is leading. It isn’t easy, but if you can find a way to remind yourself to observe your behavior in real time, you’ll find a lot of rich emotions behind your decisions and actions.
Reflect daily on your decisions, actions, and the thoughts and emotions behind them. Almost every thought will have an emotion associated with it. Name and list the emotions you felt and you’ll be surprised how many you experience in a day! This reflection will not only get you started on better understanding how your emotions impact your leadership, but also provide a basis for understanding others (and having some compassion for the crazy things they do).
Change your thoughts if you need to. We humans are biologically inclined to negativity. By making your thoughts conscious, you have opened the door to changing how you show up. If you’re in a cycle of judging others harshly or thinking and speaking negatively you might find that you can turn your emotions in a more upward spiral. Ask yourself if those negative thoughts are true or how you might think differently (more positively) about those you are judging harshly. When you think differently, you have the opportunity to change the way you treat others for the better (and even the best leaders can get better at this).
Observing your thoughts and actions and learning to turn around negative spirals of thinking can have a big positive impact on how you express your emotions to others as well as the decisions you make. This can be the start of changing the emotional culture of the organization you lead for increased performance and results.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Father's Day
Father’s Day originated in the U.S. in 1909 when Sonora Louise Smart Dodd listened to a Mother’s Day sermon and pondered if there’s a day to honor mothers, why not a day to honor fathers? Ms. Dodd began a rigorous campaign with the Spokane Ministerial Association and the local YMCA supporting her. The first Father’s Day celebration was June 19, 1910, in Spokane. President Woodrow Wilson approved the idea in 1916 and President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father’s Day in 1924 to “establish more intimate relations between fathers and their children and to impress upon fathers the full measure of their obligations.” President Lyndon Johnson signed a Presidential Proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June as Father’s Day on 1966. In 1972, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father’s Day to be held on the third Sunday of June.
Fathers Past and Present
Fathers Past and Present
In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and a four-car garage. And that’s just a vacation home.
In 1900, a father passed on his clothing to his sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch their father’s clothes if they were sliding
naked down an icicle.
In 1900, a father could count on his children to join the family
business.
Today, a father hopes his children will come home from college long enough to teach him how to work his smart phone.
In 1900, a father threatened his daughter’s suitors with shotguns if the girl came home late.
Today, a father breaks the ice by saying, “So…how long have you had that tattoo?”
Friday, June 13, 2014
Thursday, June 12, 2014
The Final 10 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
#21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
#22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
#23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
#24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
#25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
#26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
#27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
#28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
#29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
#30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
#22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
#23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
#24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
#25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
#26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
#27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
#28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
#29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
#30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
More Things to Stop doing to Yourself...
Picking up from last post....
#16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
#17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
#18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
#19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
#20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
The Final 10 tomorrow...
#16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
#17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
#18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
#19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
#20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
The Final 10 tomorrow...
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself.
#8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
#9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
HERE'S A BIGGIE.....
#10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.
#11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
#12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
#13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
#14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
#15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
#9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
HERE'S A BIGGIE.....
#10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.
#11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
#12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
#13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
#14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
#15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
Monday, June 9, 2014
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself.
#1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
#2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
#4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
#5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
#6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
#7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
More tomorrow.....
#2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
#4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
#5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
#6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
#7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
More tomorrow.....
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Weed out List
What are the things that can get away from us if not corrected quickly? What can damage the trust we have worked so hard to build? What do we need to weed out for trust to flourish?
A “Weed Out” List For Trust Building
A “Weed Out” List For Trust Building
- Needing to be “right”
- Being too busy to listen
- Saying one thing and doing another
- Treating people like “resources” rather than humans
- Being disrespectful to any one or any group
- Selectively praising only favorite employees
- Blaming instead of resolving the problem
- Correcting employees in public
- Withholding information from people who need it to be successful
- Asking people to do something you are not willing to do
- Vague values
- Mixed messages (“use the highest ethics” AND “do whatever it takes to make the numbers”)
- Oversimplified conversations about ethics (which leaves it to individual discretion)
- Fear-based or controlling leadership
- Failure of leaders to learn and grow as times change
- Not listening to employees who want to improve processes and results
- Using profit-centered (instead of values-centered) leadership
- Ignoring work complexity and leaving people to “figure it out”
- Status-based communication (top down, don’t ask questions)
- Using cause-and-effect thinking in a systems world
- Generating high stress situations (without providing support for employee well-being)
Thursday, June 5, 2014
From Driver of the year Skip...
From driver of the year Skip on our last posting on PURPOSE...
People often ask...After all these years....WHY? I'm still stacking sticks???
Think about it, the disabilities, the age....WHY?
I think it goes back to Paul ”Bear”Bryant, who, at a press conference about his retirement was asked what he was going to do? His answer was curl up and DIE.3 weeks later he died...Talk about a sense of purpose....
Well, last night, I met an elderly gentleman, the young age of 70,named Paul Adams, STILL driving for us....What a great gentleman. He stopped by my open door trailer(remember previous posts about not checking out other drivers in our fleet)and ask if I was Skip, it seems he'd had some issues with the mobile mover program not wanting to connect to the printer. I pushed him in the right direction...
.But, that's not the story....2 Old bedbuggers, getting dinner, exchanging stories...What a great experience....We both came to the same conclusion, without the sticks we’d both be gone....GOTTA HAVE A PURPOSE!!!!
People often ask...After all these years....WHY? I'm still stacking sticks???
Think about it, the disabilities, the age....WHY?
I think it goes back to Paul ”Bear”Bryant, who, at a press conference about his retirement was asked what he was going to do? His answer was curl up and DIE.3 weeks later he died...Talk about a sense of purpose....
Well, last night, I met an elderly gentleman, the young age of 70,named Paul Adams, STILL driving for us....What a great gentleman. He stopped by my open door trailer(remember previous posts about not checking out other drivers in our fleet)and ask if I was Skip, it seems he'd had some issues with the mobile mover program not wanting to connect to the printer. I pushed him in the right direction...
.But, that's not the story....2 Old bedbuggers, getting dinner, exchanging stories...What a great experience....We both came to the same conclusion, without the sticks we’d both be gone....GOTTA HAVE A PURPOSE!!!!
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Purpose
Feeling useful and having a sense of purpose in life are clearly beneficial psychologically, but now research is revealing that there also physical benefits.
No matter what your age, new research finds, having a sense of purpose helps you live longer.
There are a lot of reasons to believe that being purposeful might help protect older adults more so than younger ones.
For instance, adults might need a sense of direction more, after they have left the workplace and lost that source for organizing their daily events.
In addition, older adults are more likely to face mortality risks than younger adults.
These findings suggest that there’s something unique about finding a purpose that seems to be leading to greater longevity.”
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Monday, June 2, 2014
Listen
Listen first and then make decisions.
Listening attentively is such a simple concept, yet this task is often poorly performed by business owners.
You may be sitting next to the person giving you input and hearing what they are saying, but are you really thoughtfully considering their ideas? If you are, that’s listening.
Truly listening to other viewpoints can result in a healthy give-and-take and lead to your next great idea. But if your employees think you aren’t listening, they’ll stop giving you input.
As the driver of your company’s growth, you have the final say-so but think twice before cutting off a useful well of ideas that could aid in critical business decisions.
Listening attentively is such a simple concept, yet this task is often poorly performed by business owners.
You may be sitting next to the person giving you input and hearing what they are saying, but are you really thoughtfully considering their ideas? If you are, that’s listening.
Truly listening to other viewpoints can result in a healthy give-and-take and lead to your next great idea. But if your employees think you aren’t listening, they’ll stop giving you input.
As the driver of your company’s growth, you have the final say-so but think twice before cutting off a useful well of ideas that could aid in critical business decisions.
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