Compliments

Compliments are nice, but they are fleeting moments where good intentions do not last.
Many of us mistake compliments for gratitude.
So what is the difference?

Compliments create distance. There’s a paradox about compliments. Once bestowed, they often create a separation between the giver and receiver instead of drawing them closer. Giving someone a compliment can create an awkward moment, and often it creates distance between giver and receiver. Sometimes a compliment makes people feel embarrassed.

Gratitude creates a bond. When you are grateful and you make it personal, you create a bond. It lets the other person know that who they are matters, and what they did was significant to you.
People are always happy to hear that what they do has made a difference and has significance.

A compliment is a generic acknowledgment of something tangible—a completed task, a nice haircut, a compelling presentation, or a compassionate gesture.

Gratitude goes beyond the compliment to the intangible—why you are thankful for the completed task or the compelling presentation, the personal effect the tangible act had on you.
People are always glad to have their work acknowledged, but to know that it matters makes it more meaningful.

Compliments lead to mistrust. The recipient may wonder whether it’s sincere or deserved.

Gratitude leads to trust. The recipient knows specifically how their character, their task, made an impression.

People want to trust what you say. Make it personal. Make it true.