Show 'em

Show ‘em who you really are.

Every now and then you’ve got to step outside of your role as leader and let them see the “real” you.

People want to know that you’re someone who knows your roots and that you haven’t forgotten where you came from.

People want to know that the power that accompanies leadership hasn’t gone to your head, that you still pull up your own britches, and that you “get” that leadership is a privilege, not an entitlement. Few things are as important to leadership as confident humility.

The best leaders–the ones we want to follow–are the ones who are comfortable enough in their own skins that they put others first.

Confidently humble leaders know that leadership is not about the leader; it’s about those the leader is leading.

It's A Wonderful World

Life is what YOU make it......take the time to exhale and enjoy it...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/R0xoMhCT-7A?version=3&rel=0&fs=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&wmode=transparent

Give back

Want to feel good about yourself?

Give Back !

Help those unfortunate ...by the grace of God that could be you.

Rather it's a few dollars to a charity or giving some old cloths to the homeless or just helping that elderly neighbor whose husband may have passed away......give.

Even more important then your money is your time.

Volunteer.

A funny thing happens when you volunteer and give your time to help others....you forget your troubles and you start to feel better about yourself.

The other cool thing that happens is it will come back to you, in some way, shape or form it comes back to you.

No matter how small you may think it is, it will help. You don't need to make it public...you will know and more important the people that you help know.

You cannot help everyone but you CAN help some- if you try- if you care.

Start off small, smile more, ask to help your neighbor or your friend or a co worker.

Be the change.

Just wired different

Today's generation is just wired different, for that matter even my generation is wired different from the one before me.

My parents generation ( they were born in the early 1900's) lived through the depression and were on the lower end of  the middle class.
They worked two to three jobs at a time and never bought anything unless they could pay for it.
Credit cards were not around- maybe Lay-A-Way but that was it.

So when something needed fixing around the house they did it or they had a friend or relative help and they would return the favor somewhere.

Now we hire people to even cut our lawns...my father had someone to cut our lawn...ME.

It is amazing to see the difference in generations.
I do think that we are wired different from the times that we are brought up. I know that my parents generation appreciated what they had and wanted for little.

Opportunity

Motivate with opportunity, not fear.

 Benjamin Disraeli, former prime minister of Great Britain, once said, “Opportunity is more powerful even than conquerors and prophets.”

People will move mountains for you as long as they know that after the mountain is moved they get something in return.

 Lots of leaders try to motivate people by transmitting their fears to the workforce.
 They’ll furlough their brow talking about “what keeps me awake at night.” Guess what? Employees don’t care about what keeps you up at night.

They want to know about what gets you up in the morning

From driver Skip on employee engagement...

"Employee engagement —  staff will be more willing to put in the necessary effort when they know their leader(s) are “open book” and willing to accept correction.".
My thoughts on this would be no one in a leadership position would accept correction...It's just too harsh a word....Accept suggestions, maybe....The whole point goes back to a glass house mentality, open door, EVERYTHING in view...

The Year was 1949

This Was the Year…1949

U.S. President & Vice President

Harry Truman

The Vice President

Alben W. Barkley

Time Magazine Person Of The Year

Winston Churchill

Cost of Living

New House $7,450

Average Income $2,950

New Car $1,420

Gallon of Gas          $    .17

Minimum Hourly Wage Rate  $.70

 Popular Movies Born This Year

The Third Man Meryl Streep

Samson & Delilah Jessica Lange

Little Women Jeff Bridges

Twelve O’Clock High Richard Gere

Courage

The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded Friday to India's Kailash Satyarthi and Pakistan's Malala Yousafzai for their struggles against the suppression of children and for young people's rights, including the right to education.

Yousafzai came to global attention after she was shot in the head by the Taliban -- two years ago Thursday -- for her efforts to promote education for girls in Pakistan. Since then, after recovering from surgery, she has taken her campaign to the world stage, notably with a speech last year at the United Nations.

Through her heroic struggle, Yousafzai has become a leading spokeswoman for girls' rights to education, said Jagland

"I think this is really the beginning," she said, adding that children around the world "should stand up for their rights" and "not wait for someone else."

The loudest

Confuse dominance with leadership.

Just because a person is the loudest in the room doesn’t mean they are the leader in the room.
 Being bigger, louder, and smarter doesn’t equate with leading.

There are plenty of dominate big, loud, and smart people not worth following. Domination involves control and people hate being controlled. Especially controlling people.

People will be more drawn to a quiet leader who roles up his or her sleeves and does real work and offers grounded advice than a dominant control freak.

Lead Yourself First

Lead yourself first.

 Integrity is attractive.

 People want to follow leaders whose actions and words are in lock-step. Start by identifying your deepest values.
 What’s on your flag?

What do you stand for, and what are the non-negotiable principles you refuse to compromise.

Develop a point of view on leadership.
 Not just what you believe, but what you have come to know based on nitty gritty experience. Write down your own definition of leadership.
Finally, rate yourself on how well you’re living into your own definition of leadership on a scale of 1 (badly) to 10 (perfectly).

Always learning

Paul Arpin told that he was always learning, and that was right up till the day he passed away at 86.
And this was a man that I thought was the most intelligent man regarding the moving industry and people.

He was always listening and learning and asking for people's opinions, especially those that he valued.

He would listen and take it all in and act.

We are all learning...or should be.

Open Mouth

Open your mouth when eating the cookie.

 In his book, The No Asshole Rule, leadership author and Stanford professor Robert Sutton explains how leaders often exempt themselves from the behavioral norms they expect others to uphold. In one leadership study, two people were instructed to work on a problem-solving puzzle while another person was appointed their leader and told to direct their work.

 During the study, a researcher walks in with a plate of five cookies. Unbeknownst to the three people, this is the real study. Interestingly, leaders would often take two of the five cookies while the other people took one each.

 Worse, most leaders would eat with their mouths open!

 Unconsciously, when we’re in a position of leadership we feel entitled to live outside of the rules.

The wheels

The wheels of justice DO turn....

They may turn slow at times BUT they do turn.

When you do get frustrated and wonder why some people have certain positions do not pull back or allow your frustrations to make you negative.

Always try to find a bridge, do YOUR job and understand that justice will be had.

Maybe you will need to learn to simply say less, smile and work around them until it all shakes out.

That's ok, move on, - do not allow it to hurt you. Trust-

Trust that in the end the cream rises,

Who you think " has it made" or has it better really have their own issues.

It must be very hard when deep down a inferior person knows that they are faking it and because of that they are always defensive and angry and looking over their shoulder.

How much more free it is to just " know your job" know that you are learning your craft everyday and WANT to do better. Not because of anything else but that you CARE, that you want to do better because it is what you do. 

I have been in buisness for over 40 years and have seen a lot of imposters along the way. A lot of selfish people trying to "fake" their way through it. In every case the wheels of justice caught up to them. After I got to know them I realized they were unhappy and it normally spliced over to their family life.

Because as a lyric in a song says " no matter where you go there you are" another words deep down when you are alone you cannot fool yourself. 

The wheels of justice turn.....they just move very slow at times.....

Forgive those

Forgive those that trespass against us...

Six words that can FREE you...

Forgive those that hurt you, that try to anger you or make mistakes that effect you ( either on purpose or by accident)- Forgive.

That weight will hold you down and it is just not worth it. And who knows they may even start to come around.

All I know is hate only begets hate. Try to extend the olive branch first, be the bigger person.
After you reflect you may even see that you may have been partially to blame.

It is so cool to see what happens when you just put out positive...try it..I guarantee you that you will feel better about yourself and start to smile a whole lot more.

Life is short......forgive those that trespass against you.

Effective means to help become a accountable leader

A willingness to be held accountable. This is the key factor every leader must have. Without a willingness to put themselves in this position, any other method will be met with skepticism and cease to work. An accountable leader allows themselves to be exposed to criticism, checks and balances, and the full responsibility of their actions and intentions.

Having the correct intentions and perspective. One’s intentions must align with the organization’s values. If the leader’s perspective is to improve through developing and accountability, and their values are aligned with that of the organizations, they will have no hidden agendas and open themselves up to checks and balances.

Communicate clearly your expectations for yourself — to everyone. By informing your people with what you are doing, one can create a better culture of trust. This will work in turn as your people will want to be with a transparent leader who is willing to take valuable input from others. This also needs to be an ongoing and perpetual communication if it is to be genuine and have lasting results.

Establish systems of checks and balances. One leader developed a process in which the department’s financials were reconciled by two of his subordinates. He informed everyone that because his predecessors fudged the books, he wanted everyone to know that he was above-board in this area. By setting up simple systems or procedures, one can ensure that accountability is just as much a practice as it is an intention.

Set up a network of internal and external accountability partners. Internal accountability partners will see a leader’s daily actions and be able to quickly identify when they are going off course. External partners will see things above any potential smokescreens and organizational blinders. A good leader will set up at least a couple of internal and external people to check on their integrity regularly.

Accept all feedback, correction and consequences. This involves having a consistent attitude that allows leaders to be thankful and to learn and grow. They will not dismiss feedback they disagree with but will embrace it as an opportunity to take advice for improvement.

Accountability, above all else, is not merely a means of keeping one honest and in check. It’s the willingness to be of increasing value to the organization and the people one serves. Keeping it simple and transparent will reinforce staff engagement and team alignment while strengthening the leader’s character, credibility and influence in their world.

Are there obstacles for employees to their best?

3. Are there obstacles to performing?

• What prevents employees from performing?
• Do employees know what is expected?
• Do employees know when to do what is expected?
• Are there conflicting demands on employees’ time?
• Do employees lack
…. the authority?
…. the time?
…. the tools?

• Are there restrictive policies, or a “right way of doing it,” or a “way we’ve always done it” that ought to be changed?

• Can I reduce “competition from the job” – phone calls, “brush fires,” demands of less important but more immediate problems?

At the end of the day, a manager may just have to coach the employee out of the job or take progressive disciplinary action. However, in doing so, they can be confident that they have giving the employee every benefit of the doubt and are taking the right action to correct the right problem.

Truth-tellers

Surround yourself with truth-tellers –

 There are a couple common pitfalls of moving into higher levels of leadership or being your own boss or contractor-.
One pitfall is you begin to think you know all the answers.
 After all, that’s how you got to where you are, right?
 Another pitfall is people around you may become less willing to challenge your beliefs and actions because of your title and position power.
 The combination of these two things results in you being blind to areas where you may be falling short or not living up to your values. That’s why you need to surround yourself with truth-tellers.

Truth-tellers are those trusted confidants who have your best interests at heart and are willing to engage you in those difficult conversations when you aren’t living true to your purpose.

Breaking News

Breaking News.....
There are Bad people in the world, people that lie, cheat and steal. People that only care about themselves and are incompetent and mean. There are people that will back stab and do whatever it takes to build themselves up.

Breaking News - Right?
Wrong- there has always been and will always be the Lex Luther's of the world and evil.
What do you do? How can you defend yourself from so many?

You can start by not giving them Power- Your Power-
You have the power every day do live in the world that YOU want- to be positive and look beyond those people.
Come to the realization that no matter what you think and what you do THEY will exist.
Stop being angry about THEM and start living the moment, YOUR life and the way you want to see it.

Bad will still happen to you, people will still anger you BUT do NOT give them the power to make YOU one of them. Learn to work WITH them, to try to understand , perhaps, why they even may be what they are or how they are.

Most times I find that angry people are angry because they do not like their life or maybe even they do like them selves. They just do not know how to dig out and like anything else "angry" becomes  a habit.  The crazy thing is people that are negative and angry do not have many people , if any, that care enough about them to be totally honest with them and have the want to at least tell them that they are a shit. Thus they continue to spin their web of hate and loneliness.

Kind of a shame actually.

Keep YOUR power and do not ALLOW them to win.

More on accountabilty

Conversely, a leader that effectively holds themselves accountable will see the following positive results through their organizational influence:

• Employee engagement — staff will be more willing to put in the necessary effort when they know their leader(s) are “open book” and willing to accept correction.
• Cohesive team alignment — by holding themselves responsible, leaders will adopt the organization’s core values as their own and fold the rest of their team(s) into those values.
• Enhanced trust — they will build lasting trust as someone who will correct any errors and take responsibility for lapses in judgment.
• Sharpened skills by working within a behavioral framework – a leader will grow in resourceful and creative ways by working within an established model of conduct and develop business in that context.

There appears to be a surge of demand for self-accountability again, as indicated by many news articles and blog posts are attempting to address the lack of leadership accountability in many industries.

From yesterday's post from Driver Skip on sleep apnea

Now on to the SATIRE:

Think about it....Just how many ways are there to interrupt you REM sleep cycle in a truckstop parking lot? Sleep apnea is simply that, it interrupts your REM sleep and keeps you from sleeping well...Here's some more things the Government needs to regulate, to help me sleep....

#1.Refrigeration units....Dang things cycle on, cycle off all night, wake me up with every cycle.

#2.Back up alarms...Somebody backing in beside me, wakes me up every time.

# 3.Really bright lights in the lot. They fool my mind into thinking it's daylight at 2 am.

#4.The aches and pains of getting old. Knee’s, back, hip, all wake me in the middle of the night....

#5.Odd hours worked, here's one for you: http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/shift-work-sleep-disorder-topic-overview It's hard to sleep at different times every day, heck even the 4 hour time change from east to west coast come into play.

#6.Heart burn, ever eat in a truck stop, it pops up at 2 and your wide awake....

#7.Sex,The wife rolls over at 2 and is frisky....There goes my REM sleep...

#8.Flatulence....One more time, Truck stop food, I had one night so bad, it woke me up, I was thinking I had a battery about to explode.

#9. "People" hanging around the truck stops beating on the door.....2 am.....Sure screws up my REM sleep.

#10.My prostate, Jeeze, hate getting old,4-5 time a night it wakes me up to pee....

#11.The other bathroom call, Back to truckstop  food, now I have to get dressed and go inside....

#12.Stress,I often worry about jobs and not sleep well.

#13.Kids and grandkids, climbing into your bed because they are frightened...

#14.Nightmares....Weird truck related dreams, that keep me from sleeping.

I'm sure there's more, but at this point, you all get my drift, so just how, can the government regulate a bodily function without not looking at all the other things that apply. What we need up there is everyone of them who make these rules, must have to live in a truck for 3 months...Their attitude would change

From Driver Skip..Adventures in sleep apnea

ADVENTURES IN SLEEP APNEA

Let it start off and explain that, Yes, I am a candidate for a sleep apnea test. No rules are in place from the CVSA, or any governing bodies as to just who needs this, but concentra and a bunch of other groups have used a section of our rules about asma, copd and empazema, to branch out into a new line of income producing rules.... http://www.law.cornell.edu/cfr/text/49/391.41

“(5) Has no established medical history or clinical diagnosis of a respiratory dysfunction likely to interfere with his/her ability to control and drive a commercial motor vehicle safely; “.

Just where does it say there is anything, having to do with SLEEP? No where. Now, I can understand how sleep apnea may interrupt my periods of REM sleep, but I'm getting way ahead of myself...

On to the adventure I had getting tested:

I was informed by a Concentra Doctor that I had a 3 month card(medical)and had to get the test, in May, this year. I don't know about anyone else, but for the next 3 months, movers are so busy we don't have time for this kind of stuff until the season slacks off, and July hit, I realized we may not have enough time(depending on some requirements, different doctors have made some drivers give them 2 months of CPAP data from an sd card, before they could go back to work),and dead headed home in July to get this done...I started the research, no sleep clinic would give me the test without a prescription. So- I called the same doctor who told me to get the test. Her response was ”we don't do that”?????WHAT? She told me to go to my family doctor, I told her I did not have one and depended on Doc in a box like her, to get things done...One more time she said NO! At this point, I told her she would be hearing from my Lawyer, and she backed up and agreed to look at the forms I had form the sleep clinic....I e-mailed them over and started calling all kinds of other doctors(no faith in those folks now, at all) and found one within a half an hour who would order it without even seeing me...

Then on to the test....Friday, Saturday and Sunday night(at home)I slept wired to a monitor, it reported wirelessly to a company in Delaware, and I got my results by 10 am Monday...Funny thing is, I get a call from Concentra, telling me(7 days, after I called them, two weeks into this crap)to stop by and get the prescription for the test...I should have gone off on her, but, I calmly told here she was 7 days late, the test was done, and she had by her dragging her ass cost me $10,000 worth of income(like these folks care???)and I'd be seeing her in 2 hours....

Two hours later I hand her the test results and she asked me where the ordering doctors findings were(?????).I had to explain to her she was the ordering doctor....Her next statement blew me out of the water, I don't know how to read these things......DAMN? Funny thing is, I had spent the last 14 days doing research on what this was about, and told her I understood every bit of it....She then pointed to a graph and asked what it was.....I told her it was oxygen saturation levels during a period of sleep apnea...OH-So you have sleep apnea? NAW,I told here to look at the lower right sections of each nights page, the number there was episodes per hour of sleep apnea....She says again, SO-you have sleep apnea? NAW, if you will add those 3 numbers up an divide by 3 you'll get 7.2 episodes of sleep apnea per hour....Oh-so you have sleep apnea? NAW! Anything less than 15 is untreatable, minimal. I get my 2 year card right? She then says, where did you get those numbers from? I turned my Ipad around(thank you mobile mover, without you I'd still be on my laptop)and said The Mayo Clinic's web page, here it is.....Needless to say,9 months is all I got and I'm headed to a different doctor next time....

Tomorrow's post- the second part is pure SATIRE!

(for those of you in DC, Satire: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.)

synonyms:

mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn, caricature;

What a change

When John Adams took residence of the Whit House in 1800 he said it was the house of the people.
Citizens were allowed to walk right up and knock on the door and were welcomed in.

Today we have trained dogs, a high fence, secret service, alarms and even with all that people still rush the house armed and ready to do harm.

What a change.

This morning on the local news they talked about two men that live in the area in their late 50's that kidnapped a 14 year old girl for sexual acts. She was just walking home and it had turned dark. The reaction from the authorities was parents need to watch their children, they should not be out after dark. When I was 14 I walked the neighborhoods all the time and so did all my friends.

What a change.

Here is the big problem, I do not see how we can ever return back to the days where everyone felt safe and you can let your kids out without fear. That is a crying shame.
Blame it on the internet, social media, the economy, single parents or the need for two working parents. Maybe it's the economy?  All tough back in the 1800's and most of the 1900's there was certainly our share of poverty and tough times.

I do not know the answers but I do hope that we can stem the tide and never forget what we were or what it was like. If we just all give up and say " that's the way it is" then we will never stop the negative or the fear. And my fear is where it will or could end up.

Want change?

Be the Change...start at home and with your community...get involved...be present. Remember what it was like and keep telling the stories.

Core Values

Know your core values –

 Your values are those deeply held beliefs that guide your decisions and priorities in life. They are the guard rails on the highway of life, keeping you on track and pointed in the right direction. Sadly, many people don’t take the time to thoughtfully consider and explore their core values. If you don’t know your values, how can you expect to live them out?

Accountability

Accountability in leadership is not a new mindset, as many books and schools over the years have presented. From J. Paul Getty to Rudy Giuliani, leaders of all backgrounds and intentions have attempted to define the subject.

Yet for the many thoughts presented there has been a drift from self-accountability to accountability throughout the entire organization. Over the past couple of decades, a shift has occurred which has made accountability a negative and fearful concept.

True accountability needs to be a defined mindset and instigated by the leader themselves. This mindset must be inverted and promoted in a more positive light in order to be effective.

Anyone who absolves themselves of responsibility cannot effectively lead others, but sets a tone for blame-shifting. A leader of this type poses performance and financial challenges before their organization through distrust and forced compliance due to consequences.

More on Lazy employees

2. Does performing really matter to them?

PROBE QUESTION
• Does performing as desired matter to the performer?
• Is there a favorable outcome for performing?
• Is there an undesirable outcome for not performing?
• Is there a source of satisfaction for performing?
• Can employees take pride in this performance as individuals or as members of a group?
• Is there satisfaction of personal needs from the job?

Lazy employees

Here’s a summary of questions to ask to determine why an employee won’t do something, even though they know how to do it:

1. Is desired performance punishing or is it rewarding? The classic example of “rewarding bad behavior” is when a child misbehaves to get their parent’s attention. In a workplace, an employee might get rewarded with overtime pay for not getting their work done on time.

Probe questions:
• What is the consequence of performing as desired?
• Is it punishing to perform as expected?
• Do employees perceive desired performance as being geared to penalties?
• Would the employees’ world become a little dimmer if the desired performance were attained?
• What is the result of doing it the present way instead of my way?
• What do employees get out of the present performance in the way of reward, prestige, status, jollies?
• Do employees get more attention for misbehaving than for behaving?
• What event in the world supports (rewards) the present way of doing things? (Am I inadvertently rewarding irrelevant behavior while overlooking the crucial behaviors?)
• Are employees physically inadequate; doing less because it is less tiring?

Disfunktional family

A lot of people ask me why I care so much about drivers that work for my company or employees that work in my department . They like to bring up their negatives or try to find fault.

I just try to find the positive and enjoy trying to find the bridge to each and every one.

I think a lot of it has to do with my up bringing.

My father was a alchaholic and my two sisters are now alchaholics , my uncle was too.

I was not abused as a child but let's just say I was kinda on my own.

My mom was a saint but she had to work three jobs and manage a alcoholic husband.

That is what you call a disfunktional family.

I still loved my dad and try to help my sisters how ever I can.

You see it should not matter what their issues may be, because by the way we all have something, a friend or family member needs your support and once in the family there they remain.

That is how I truly feel about our drivers and my fellow employees , they are al part of my disfunktional family. There I said it.

Yea, we may be disfunktional at times and, we all come with something to deal with , but we all bring our own uniqueness to the table.

I guess growing up in a not so perfect house helped me appreciatte that, of course you do not recognize that till years after you are out of the house but none the less they are lessons that are hidden in our being and thank God for that.

I try not to judge, just to help.

That said I do believe as the good Lord says, The Lord helps them who helps themselves.

Another words sometimes there is only so much a person can to help, if someone is on a collision course for whatever reason sometimes they just have to go down that path to learn what they have to learn.

Until then I will continue to extend the olive branch, learn what I can and help whoever I can.

After all...family is family.

More on The Three Alternatives Rule

Environment

The second rule is to change your environment.

 We adapt to our surroundings in different ways.   That’s why we may behave one way in a social setting and entirely different at work . 

 We often get stuck in a routine, and if that routine is altered or changed, we are no longer actively conscious of what we are doing and why .

 That is why it is important to take a moment and assess the events leading to the change and plan a course of action. If this alternative is chosen, there will be a need to decide exactly what environmental change to make, plan the change, and manage the implementation of the plan .

Confrontation

The third rule is to confront the person about his or her behavior.

This is often the most challenging alternative out of the three because it is difficult to gauge how the other party will handle the information. They can either be supportive of your views or reject them altogether.

Speaking with the individual employee in a private setting to address behavior issues early is ideal . Taking the time to go over the causes of the issues rather than the effects can help to solve the underlying problem .

Management may also use the company’s established disciplinary procedure as a tool for change .  A timed process that the employee must follow allows for behavior modifications.  Or, if the behavior worsens, it can ultimately lead to the termination of the employee.

When emotions are high, pausing before acting and thinking through your approach is a great way to avoid making a problem worse by simply reacting in the heat of the moment.  The Three Alternatives Rule is a great tool for doing that.

The Three Alternatives Rule

The three alternatives rule is simple. It explains how to handle a problem using one of these three rules which include changing your attitude, changing your environment, or confronting a person about his or her behavior. Each one of these rules works well but should be applied to the situation that is best suited for it . Attitude The first rule is to change your attitude. It is important to identify the culprit by asking yourself numerous questions associated with the problem, such as: who or what made me angry?  Can I do anything to fix this issue with my attitude? After these or similar questions have been answered, take care of the items or a problem you can manage yourself .    It is also helpful to be proactive in your search for better surroundings and people. Talk to the leadership and meet new colleagues that may be more of a positive influence on you. Changing your attitude can turn an issue or problem that was at first perceived unacceptable to acceptable . More tomorrow

...

Buisness

In order to run a good business you need to build allies and customers.

To build allies you need to learn how to work with EVERYBODY- learn personalities and what works best with each individual. You do not necessary need to agree with somebody's life style or how they conduct their business - you just need to build a bridge.

Find out what works best in the given situation and work it.

To build customers you need to always be aware of what THEY want and act on it.
Show then that you care - go above and beyond.
If they feel YOU care- you have half the battle won.

Do this and be consistent  and your business will grow and you will profit.

Allies and customers.

Building Trust

#1 Pay Attention

Make eye contact, and hold it—both when you are speaking and listening.  Nod from time to time to show you are understanding what’s being said to you (and if you don’t understand, ask). Smile, especially when they do.  And above all else, really focus and internalize what is being said to you—everyone needs to feel that they have been heard, even when you can’t give them what they are asking for.

#2 Trust Them First 

Human beings have a deeply-rooted tendency toward reciprocity.  We are naturally inclined to want to do favors, give gifts, and work to promote those who have done these things for us in the past. And the same holds true when it comes to trust—we are more likely to feel we can trust someone who has trusted us first.  So assign tasks and projects that reflect this trust. Socially, share personal (but appropriate!) stories, talk about your struggles and challenges, let them see your fallible, human side. Allowing yourself to be a bit vulnerable is a great way to project warmth.

#3 Show Empathy

As a leader it’s easy to have a laser-like focus on the tasks at hand. But take the time to mentally put yourself in your employees’ shoes, to really try to grasp their perspective.  Use phrases like “I imagine you must have felt…” to convey that empathy directly.