Don’t tell me what I believe

 Don’t tell me what I believe 

And don’t put me into a certain group because it helps you with your talking points - the one thing that has always bothered me is when people group others all together for identification purposes. I simply do not buy in that ALL of any certain group thinks the same exact way or ALL have the same morals or work ethic, be it by gender, race , religion or political affiliation.

My experience has shown me that there are good and bad in all and to group people together is a total mis- justice , do not assume you know anyone and absolutely do not assume you know me and throw me into a nice neat column to make your point or drive home your own opinion.

This political season in 2020 is the most contentious of my 63 years here on this planet. I have never seen such a divide and people ready to yell and spew hate because you do not agree with them. I fully get that we all have different opinions and it has never stopped me from still getting to know someone or befriend them. 

I have always respected our policemen and women and our military members and veterans-always , and still do and always will so please do not throw me into any column because I do not support a certain candidate , that is down right insulting and wrong.

Do not assume I do not believe in a higher being or spirit or God because I believe in a woman’s right to choose or I believe in birth control , people need to practice more of the words of our prophets and less of hate and division.

There is no - them and us - there is only one race- the human race.

Where you are born on this planet or what skin you happened to be born in should not determine your worth or your life , we are all born into this world and every life matters and we should treat each other with the love that we all had in us upon birth, hurt people- hurt people, we need to rise above the bigotry and extend an olive branch to everyone we meet. Take the time to smile and listen and learn from each other- there is so much to learn. 

It is your life - your one life and life is short- use your time as a positive influence and your shoulders will be lightened and your path will be revealed.

Find Joy

 These are certainly stressful times !

It is very hard to turn away from the noise and anger, it is everywhere- all the time! And it is very easy to slip into depression or join the angry people. I do think it is important to stay aware and educated and try to read more articles and newspapers on current events. Try to look and listen outside of your normal echo chamber and always try to look at the other side.

Whatever you are going through right now align your self with people that bring you joy do things that bring you joy and try as much you can to stay in the moment knowing that your absolute best days are ahead of you in spite of everything you’re feeling or going thru right now 

Sheep

 Sheep follow each other, it is easy to round up sheep because you can easily get the herd to just follow the group in front of them. They have no idea where they are going , they just follow.
I always preached to my kids growing up to not be sheep, do not just follow others. I told them to make up their own minds and to ask questions and listen and to always beware when people try to talk you into anything.

Unfortunately today I see more and more people becoming sheep, they are easily fooled and follow others without stopping and listening and learning. I absolutely believe that these times will be studied for years to come as to what happened to reason and common sense and why did so many people just go tone deaf. The times were certainly ripe , many people who just followed were angry and wanted to join others that were angry, there in numbers they felt some kind of comfort but why were they all angry. My thoughts are many felt like their voices were not being heard, that people in higher offices especially did not see them or care about them so by banding together they felt stronger, they felt like they finally had a voice.

I can fully understand how people can feel left out and frustrated and isolated and I now understand how people of ill intent can capture those un-forgotten people and today it is made so much easier with the internet and social media. Follow me they say , I hear you and I have your back. They package themselves to look and sound soothing and understanding much like the predator that preys on small children or the sociopath that pulls people into his mangled world so he can control them.
Today it is more important then ever to not be sheep, question everything and everybody, STOP LOOK and LISTEN. When someone is insistent that “they” are right and “others” are wrong that is when you need to look the other way. You do not need to be part of a crowd to be seen or heard, be yourself!

Your voice- your thoughts - your good intentions- do not get sucked in to “ Us” and “them”.

Do not become sheep-

I am not saying that groups are bad, being siloed and by yourself all the time is not healthy either. You can make real change if you unite but do it for the right reasons. Do not gather out of hate or fear, join groups to learn and grow and conduct positive change. I know that is very difficult to hear the opposite side , especially when it is being shouted at you but shouting louder will never get anyone anywhere and will never ever have the opportunity to truly listen or build a bridge.

What is ... and is not - Leadership

 Leadership matters 

I have see a deterioration of leadership that has been happening for the past 10 plus years and in all walks of life. When I have conversations with my family and friends we all share the same concerns and complaints - lack of leadership and direction- we represent teachers, nursing, sales, trucking, higher education, politics and more but yet we all have similar stories.

What happened? 

Well first what makes a good leader ? Someone who listens and understands what the employees that he leads do , hopefully because he once did it. So prompting from within and climbing the ladder is essential. That said not all good employees make good managers or bosses, it is a completely different skill set. I notice that people are put into positions that they are simply not ready for but the pay raise and titles are enticing so of course they grab it, not their fault but whoever offered them the position may not be right for their position so therefore starts the trickle down collapse of leadership.

A real leader wants his employees under him to feel like a team and they matter because they do, the success of the leader and the company relies on everybody doing their part. A leader listens and watches and advices and has the best interest of their employee at heart, your job as a leader or boss is to know each person’s weaknesses and strengths and then assist in bringing out the best in them, always praising and respecting them even when showing them where improvements are needed.

A real leader always keeps his door and ears open and if there is failure he must take his share of the blame and correct the process. If someone is not following up on their work he must do his best to first educate and help and if necessary Re assign that individual but remember everyone is alway watching, how they see you handle other people is how they feel you will be with them.

Forming a team atmosphere is always a work in process, you can always do better. Better technology is always around the corner, improved processes and communication means more profit and increased pride.

What leadership is not - bosses or people with titles thinking they are better or barking orders to the people that they are supposed to be responsible for. Leaders and bosses and managers must stay engaged, daily.

Life Lessons

No need to  complicate things -

Life Lessons-
1.  The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
2. Be kind whenever possible.
3. Well being comes through action, not through prayer.
4. Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
5. A compassionate mind is a great source of happiness.

Don’t take what’s mine

One of my lessons in life was watching how people in life and in business got very defensive and angry when they thought someone was taking what they thought was theirs.

I dispatched household goods movers and drivers most of my career and it was astounding to me how much time they all spent worried about what the other guy was getting.
I saw fathers get mad over what their son was dispatched because they felt they deserved it, I saw brother against brother and friend against friend, agent against agent and so on- and most would complain and ask to not let the other know.
There were always reasons why certain loads were dispatched on a particular driver,  quality of a mover came into play, who emptied first, was a certain load going through or to home for a particular driver that may not have been home for a while, did a driver have to roll with space on his previous load in order to make delivery dates ??? ... these all should come into play when assigning loads and more.
Some drivers obsess so much about what the other guy is doing it effects their moods and personality and ultimately it effects their work. I would say if only they spent that time and energy on improving some aspect of their job they would be much better served.
I knew why I chose a load for a particular driver and by having to defend my actions took up my time that could be better spent trying to put better loads together for everyone .

I see the same in every day life now more then ever, I see a lot of anger toward others because some people think they deserve more or that the other person does not deserve it. Again if people only put on their blinders and just worried about themselves and how to improve they would all be better off and be a heck of a lot less angry and stressed.

Life is hard enough, there is no reason to go looking for more stress.
Lighten your shoulders , take a good look in the mirror and remember the only person you can ever truly change is yourself.


“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
-Matthew 

Titles and entitlement

Titles mean nothing to me and never have.

I was promoted up the ladder in a multi million dollar business , went from manager to director to Vice President to Senior Vice President- pretty good right ?
Who really cares ?

What matters more is - did I make difference in someone’s life ?
I hope I did - my reward was and still is when someone I worked with or worked for me tells me that I helped them or say I made a difference in how they work.

Funny story- I was VP of Operations for this 100 million dollar company and the head of HR called me in to her office and said that they wanted to promote me to Senior Vice President and at first I said no I am ok thanks, she told me no, you want this title , for one the company was about to distribute stock for the first time ever and being a Senior VP would mean being offered stock, so I accepted.
But I truly felt that titles should not speak to who I am or what I do or how much worth I am to the company.

The big problem in today’s business world is people no longer even work their way up the ladder, those in “power” think to be better and smarter you need to have the “sheepskin” A degree- if you have that you can by pass the workers actually doing the work and gain a title and then you stand on the mountain top and bark out your orders.
The issue here is respect and knowledge in that particular business, how can you obtain the knowledge needed to lead if you never actually worked your way up and how can those people you are supposed to lead respect you if they know you do not even have that knowledge.

Just because you have a title it does command respect- that you have to earn.
Unfortunately some people think the title will make people listen and most obtain an office with their title which is even worse because they will never truly listen to their employees thus will never be able to train or help give them the tools they need to succeed. They go to their, shut the door and think how smart they are and look at the pictures they put up on their wall.

Titles seem to give people entitlement, no matter what you do or what your title is we all enter this world the same way and will some day exit it , life is short. What you do with that like is what is important.