A higher Being

I am 60 years old and as I look back at my life I am more convinced then ever that there must be a higher being up above. I have been blessed so many times over it is hard to understand how in the world did I get here and how and why did I end up with people that have crossed my paths.

I think I have always been kind of naive, I never had any grand plan - I just followed the paths in front of me and I tried my very best to be honest and not hurt anyone and enjoy each day.

The first person who change my direction was when I was 11 and a neighborhood kid my age asked if I wanted to join a Boy Scout troop , I did and stayed in till I was 16. I climbed the ranks to obtain the rank of Eagle and learned along the way, mostly giving me confidence in myself.
My father never spent much time with me , he was mostly dealing with the demon of alcohol, so the scoutmaster kinda filled that slot at a time in my life that I needed something positive.
Thank you Mr. D

Next was when I was around 17 working a part time job at the mall washing dishes and scooping ice cream, a manager of a retail store came in for a ice cream and asked me if I wanted another part time job stocking shelves, I said yes and worked my way up to become manager there at the age of 21.
Thank you Frank

It was at that store when I was manager that a young lady would enter my life, she was about 17 and worked at a near by store and came in to borrow a screw driver, later I found out that she was actually there to check out my assistant manager but kinda liked me more. Thank goodness because 5 months later I would marry her- that was January 1981.
Love you Lisa

The next people to come into my life that would change it was David Arpin and Paul Arpin, I started working for them in 1985 and stayed there till 2017 as I worked my way up to Sr Vice President.
Thank you David and Paul

Crazy huh ?

How can you explain it all ?

The only way I can explain it is someone else has been guiding me and putting these people in my path along with countless of others that I have been so very blessed to know and learn from along the way.
Thank you Jesus

Bosses

I have no problem having a Boss...
I do have a problem with being bossed around.
Tell me what I need to do and then leave me alone.

I learn best by on the job training, I watch and listen and take notes. I then want to “get at it “ because that is where I will learn and I also can begin my independence.
I can also start think of a better way to do things, I always learn what to do and how it is done but at the same time I almost immediately start questioning the process and start to think of other opinions.

In every job that I have had from washing dishes when I was 17 , stocking shelves at 18, managing a retail store at 21 or running an operations at 30 I always thought of ways to do it better. I did not intentionally want to do this for promotional purposes , though it did help, I just always go into things and look at it through common sense eyes and take a little something from everyone and try to make things easier for everyone.

It was Robert Kennedy who said “ Some people look at thinks and ask why, I look at things and ask why not”.
I heard that as a young boy and it always stayed with me and I took it as why just accept things as they are ? Think of how you think it should be and then try to change it.

You can have a boss and still be your own boss... do not become mechanical.

Loyalty

I am loyal

I am loyal and I never forget a friend, once a friend always a friend. I have tried very hard to not make enemies and even with those that I may disagree with I try to distant myself from them but also try to keep the lines of communication open.

The big thing is to never forget where you came from and who was there for you when you needed a helping hand.
I have witnessed dozens of people that simply got to big for their own good and totally forgot their roots and in each and every case they fell , some discovered their failing in time to save a part of them others went so far down the rabbit hole they never was able to SEE.

Stay humble and never forget

Work Harder

Work Harder..
Can’t catch up on your bills ? Work harder, worker more hours, earn more money.
Or
Want Less..

Do you need that new car ?
When my generation was 16 or 18 or 20 or even 30 we drove used cars...oh my.. yup and you even had to roll down your windows by hand and forget about a/c - that was for the rich guys.

Do you need that new big and fancy gas grill ?
My generation grew up on charcoal grills with no side burners and you actually had to light a match and wait for the coals to heat up.

Do you need that 54” High Def Smart TV so you can purchase Net Flix and You Tube and 800 channels ?
My generation at black and white TV with the rabbit ears and got three channels.

In our race to have more and buy more we sold what is most precious- our time.
Because we race to make more money we drop our kids off at 10 weeks old every day for strangers to raise them. We work more hours so forget about the family actually being home to eat dinner together and talk to each other and laugh with each other. We stress out every day and never even look up to enjoy the day.

We swapped our time for stuff.

Work Harder ... or Want Less

Anger

Anger... we all have it and anger can drive you and it can also destroy you.
We carry our anger around like baggage and most it can be because of the past and we either can not come to terms with it or we have not yet learned from it.
Most people that have been diagnosed with a terminal disease come to terms with their anger of the past because they now get it... it just does not matter. The only thing that matters is today, the day that is front you. If you know you only have so many days left then you do not want to waste a day, an hour , you want to absorb all the beauty and all the good around you.
If that is true then why do most people wait to hear those fateful words before they learn to let that anger go ?
Anger can be positive and a motivator because if you take that anger to prove others wrong or to gain some kind of revenge then that can help you climb that mountain and climb that ladder but that said you always have to be conscience of that anger so it does not over take you.
Use it but also learn when to let it go.
Remember in the end anger can destroy... love can build.

9 Things to Quit

9 Things to quit:

1. Trying to please everyone
2. Fearing change
3. Living in the past
4. Overthinking
5. Being afraid to be different
6. Beating yourself up over mistakes
7. Sacrificing your happiness for others
8. Thinking you're not good enough
9. Thinking you have no purpose

You will never be free until you please yourself first , what makes you happy ? Who makes you happy ? Know that.. follow that and stop worrying about everything and everyone else.

Change is inevitable and change can be good... do not fear change- embrace it... learn from your past and bring it into your future and strive to be better.

Get out of your head and don’t overthink things, go back to #1 and stay focused on who and what is important to you and don’t sweat the small stuff ... ignore the gossip.

It is what makes us different that makes us special... march to the best of your own drummer... do not be sheep.

I have learned much more from my mistakes then from accomplishments so do not be afraid to make mistakes, if you are not making mistakes you are not trying hard enough.

You can make others around you happy until YOU are happy so go back to #1

No one is better then you, and you are no better then anyone else- so stop worrying if you are not good enough - do not surrender your power to anyone!

We  ALL have a purpose, we can all conduct change, if you approach each day with a positive attitude and you reach out to try to help someone - no matter how small - you can make a difference and through that you find your purpose.

Choose wisely

A friend of mine sent me this one...


I once asked a very successful woman to share her secret with me. 

She smiled and said to me.. 

"I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters. 

I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me...

I stopped fighting with my in laws...

I stopped fighting for attention...

I stopped fighting to meet public expectation of me...

I stopped fighting for my rights with stupid people..

I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight...

And I started fighting for 
my vision, 
my dreams, 
my ideas and 
my destiny. 

The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming successful."

Some fights are not worth your time.
Choose what you fight for wisely.

Smart People

Why would you hire smart people and then tell them what to do ?
That was a quote from Steve Jobs.
It makes perfect sense, you should always want to hire people smarter then you and then let them go.
You should always be there to direct and steer but for the most part your business will only grow if you keep changing with the times and looking at it from all angles.
Having fresh eyes always helps but only if you allow those eyes to see and you allow your ego to listen.
How can you do it better ?
What app is there out there now to help streamline that did not even exist three years ago ?
What can you do better to lift morale?
If you stifle those around you and always want to be alpha dog in the room you are losing opportunity and probably losing the moral and energy.
Listen... encourage... and always allow the people around you to shine.

Your opinion

We ALL have an opinion... on everything.
The thing is most people do not care about your opinion and for goodness sake do not bother sharing your opinion unless it is asked for. And even then if your opinion differs from the one asking you they will most likely shut you down within the first 60 seconds.
Don’t get me wrong I strongly believe that you should always stand up for what you believe in but you also need to choose your times and know how far to go and ultimately what good will come from it. A lot of people become very passionate when they voice their opinion but sometimes in doing so they may speak to loud or too fast and become intimidating. In those cases you may get your voice heard but you most likely will be either forgotten or simply not asked again.
If you want to truly make a difference try to make it a point to measure Your responses and watch to not take all the air completely out of the room.
Chances are you will not win everyone over , especially right out of the gate and you may even come to the conclusion that they may also have a very good point and at the end of the day no matter what you should always respect other people’s opinions.
You need to fully understand how they were brought and the circumstances to which they were brought up to fully understand where they are coming from and why they may view things the way they do.
Opinions are vital and important and to learn we need to listen to other people’s opinion as well as to voice our own.

Baby Steps

Just take baby steps.
Stop freaking out about what may be and stay focused on what is.
You only have so much control of the future, we actually have very little control of what others do but we do have full control of today and what our mood is .
Stay positive.
Take steps to do a Better job today, learn from your past.
Take note of your what your body and facial expressions are saying, are you tense? Do you look angry ? Are you smiling.
Little things like being conscience of your body language is very important.
Take baby steps to a better day and stop focusing on things you have no control over.

Paranoid

Most of us suffer from the voices on our head and we succumb at times to being paranoid.

Being paranoid comes from worrying about what others think or are saying and what they think or say about us.
 We all spend much to much time worrying about others and a lot of it I believe comes from possibly our past and having been hurt by someone.
It is natural to put up a self defense to not get hurt again so we become engrossed in the worry and become paranoid .

I know it is easier said then done but we need to beat that voice down and just do our best and try not to worry about what “ they” are saying.

There will always be people that truly support you and there will always be people that will oppose you and it can be for several reasons and mostly the reasons are probably from their own insecurities and the inner voices in their heads.
Do not allow “them” whoever “they” are to take away your energy, trust me they have their own issues to deal with.

Just put on your blinders and look forward , when you see or hear the opposition try your best to just smile and remember what and who are important to you and let them deal with their own issues.

Justice

The wheels of Justice DO move ...
They move slowly at times but trust me the truth shall overcome.
You may think they are getting away with something or that they have it better then you but if they lied or if they rose to power without “ paying their dues” they WILL fall.
Now some may see the error of their ways and change their evil ways and/or start to actually appreciate and learn from others but unfortunately most that start down the wrong road stay on it until they are unveiled for the frauds that they are.
I have personally seen this play out too many times in my 40 years in the work force.
Save time and learn from the ground up and always respect others.
Appreciate the little things ... want for less .
Live a simple life and remember... the wheels of Justice do turn.

There’s no time

None of us are getting out of here alive-
So please stop treating yourself like an after thought.
Eat the delicious food.
Walk in the Sunshine.
Jump in the Ocean.
Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasures.
Be Silly.
Be Kind.
Be Weird.
There’s no time for anything else.

- from actor-Anthony Hopkins-

Training

Training is crucial to success.
If you want to grow and do better you need good people around you therefore you need to train.
Training is explaining.
You need to not only hire help and give them responsibility you need to explain to them why they are doing what they are doing. You need to use every day as a training ground and utilize those teachable moments. You are only as good as those around you.
If you need the correct information in order for you to do your job then help those that get that information to you. Work WITH them and never think what YOU do is more important then what they do.
We are all cogs in the wheel, no matter who you are or what your tittle is - you are just a piece of the puzzle, a rung on the ladder.
Train- explain- , help others and learn from everyone- everyday!

Life lessons

Two things missing more today are :

Honesty

And admitting when you are wrong 

In order to admit you are wrong about something you need to honestly open the door to the other side.

For example I am part owner of a theatre and I enjoy plays and concerts and I enjoy all kind of live entertainment. I enjoy mostly comedies and recently we had a play that is considered a “ dark comedy “ and during the first rehearsal I saw I did not see the entertainment, and even after opening night I still did not see it. Perhaps I had made my mind up before I even gave a true opportunity but for whatever reason I thought it was not one of our best. Then something happened, I watched it again a few nights later with fresh eyes and maybe the actors were also getting more comfortable in their roles but I got it and was actually very touched. 

I was wrong and once I was able to see it - I not only enjoyed it, I learned from it.

I wonder if we can ever get back to that in our politics? Or in our every day life?

We seem to pick a side now and not ever open the door to the possibility of the other side.

How will we ever learn ? How can we grow and find new ground ?

I thank the actors and the director of our last play for continuing to teach me and show me that I should never pre judge and that the true lessons of life come when you least expect it.

Walden Woods

Perhaps Thoreau remains relevant today because of, not despite, our increasing detachment from the natural world. In other words, we need our own “Walden” now more than ever.

“Do you have a favorite intimate place in Nature that you can go to for guidance, for sustenance?” Thorson asks rhetorically. “Where do you go to collect your wits? Because that’s what Thoreau’s Walden is all about. He goes there to collect his wits.”

Thorson believes you do not have to travel far to find such places. For him, it’s a small stream in the woods that flows between his house and the University of Connecticut campus, where he can pause and “take a deep breath” before starting his day.

Besides these daily doses of nature, other, grander sights replenish us. Thor-son is no stranger to Rhode Island, having lived on Jamestown for a few years, and one of his favorite spots is Sachuest Point in Middletown.

“It could be a tree you swung on as a kid,” he said. “For some people, it will be a hemlock grove.” The point is to find those “intimate places that are a part of our real lives,” 

Goal in Life

 What is your goal in Life ??

I was once in a management meeting and that question was put out there- “ What is your goal in life”?  and one of the VP’s said his goal was to make as much money as humanly possible...
Wow.. there was silence in the room for a minute... really.. that’s your goal ? In life?

Money has never been a motivator for me or my ultimate goal, Money is something I need to pay the bills and help raise my family but it certainly is not my goal in life.
When they throw dirt on you is that what you want to be remembered for?
Do you want to spend most of your waking hours chasing and bowing down to the almighty dollar?
Not me.

Life is short and you cannot put a dollar figure on the smile of your kids or that hug from your grandchildren.
There is so much beauty around us that is completely free but if we spend all of our time stressed about buying that big house and the toys and whatever you deem as important you will never enjoy what is free... watching your kids grow or sitting on a rock near a brook in the woods with your wife or husband or feeling the reward of service. Service to those in need, in your community and in your family.
That is all free and all around you every day.

Is money really your ultimate goal ?

Sacrifice

Look around you... there are people who sacrifice every day.

Professional drivers that are away from home for days or weeks and sometimes months at a time so they can provide for their families.

Single moms that have to wear many hats, they need to get their kids up and fed and off for the day and get themselves ready for work and come home and be sure that there is food for the family and clean cloths and dishes and to hopefully have time to listen to their children and most important to hug them.
Same with single dads or even those families with a mom and dad that still need two paychecks (probably 90% of families ) they too need to sacrifice every day to do what is best for their families.

So when you fall into one of those “ self pity days” or feel bad about yourself or your situation...
Look around and realize that life is about sacrifice and we all have something going on in our lives.

Work with others, reach out and try to do something positive every day for someone, it will come back to you 10 fold.

Stand for Something

Stand Up for Something

Andra Day

You can have all the money in your hands
All the possessions anyone can ever have
But it's all worthless treasure, true worth is only measured
Not by what you got, but what you got in your heart
You can have, you can have everything
What does it, what does it mean?

You do the best that, do the best that you can do
Then you can look in the mirror
Proud of who's looking back at you
Define the life you're living
Not by what you take or what you're givin'
And if you bet on love there's no way you'll ever lose
Take a stand, make a stand for what's right
It's always worth, always worth the fight

It all means nothing
If you don't stand up for something
You can't just talk the talk
You got to walk that walk, yes you do
It all means nothing
If you don't stand up for something
And I stand up for you
Stand for respect, dignity
If that's all you got, then you got all you need
And without that, you don't have a thing, oh, no, no

Rise up, love, lift your hands
I stand with you 'cause I understand
Ain't here to judge, just to take a stand
The greater plan's the Creator's plan
Let's all rise like the day began
Reach out and touch with the Savior's hand
On rock, we stand like this native land
Let the ways of love be the ways of man

People that change your life

This is from a household goods driver that turned into one of the best in his profession-... Thomas Olson-

I admire my dad so much for he has taught me how to be the man I am today. Because of him and a few others that I've met along the way I've become very good at what I do in many things in my life.
How I actually became a mover is a pretty cool story I think.
When I was a kid I bowled on a Church league on Saturday mornings. I walked from home to the bowling alley and back each time. Along that path was a moving company called Pan American Van Lines. One day on my way back home while I was passing the moving company I heard a man yell out ' hey kid '. I looked up and seen the biggest man I've ever seen in my life and he waved me over saying ' come here '.
I walked over and he asked me if I wanted to help him work and he would pay me. So I worked for a little while and he gave me $20. Man I thought I was rich, really I did...
Well it became an every Saturday morning job for me which led into a local job. Now over 40 years later as I sit in my moving truck I'm telling you my moving story. This job has brought me to my wife and children, I've met and still know some amazing people such as yourself and many other things this job has brought to me.
And to think it all started long ago with a ' hey kid, come here '...
That mans name was Slim, I'm sure it wasn't his birth name but that's what everyone called him. Slim is probably up there with my father looking down together at me. I hope I made them proud with me being the man and the mover I am...
Thank you for letting me share my story...

When you are not looking

Sometimes you find the answer when you are not looking.

Maybe it your life partner or your best career move, but sometimes without even knowing it life shows you a path or someone enters your life and changes it forever.

I met my wife back in the summer of 1980 , I was 24 and managing a store in a mall and she was just 17 and working part time in a store across from mine. I was not looking for a wife or a serious relationship and one night she came over to actually check out my assistant manager, she disguised her visit by coming over and asking to borrow a screw driver.
The rest is history, we went on our first date a few weeks after and married five months after that and two kids and two grandkids and 37 years later we have traveled an amazing journey.

Newly married and managing a retail store I decided that retail was not going to be something I wanted to do for my career, I then dispatched for Honeywell , a heating and AC division in New England, I was there for three years and it was a great experience but I worked in RI and the home office was in MN, and I wanted to work for a place that the owner knew me and my work ethic would give the security I needed for a young family.
I interviewed for Paul Arpin Van Lines, a family owned business in RI, I first interviewed for a customer service position but it did not sound like something I was interested in so I declined. I was not desperate for a job, I actually liked my job so I could afford to just look.
Paul Arpin’s called me back for another interview, this time as a night supervisor but I declined again because with a young family I wanted to be home at night.

I then figured I would probably settle in to Honeywell so I stopped looking and Paul Arpin called me a third time, this time I interviewed with the then Vice President David Arpin, now CEO and President, and David asked me to come over to work in Operations and eventually run it... I took it.
I stayed there for over 30 years and helped take it from a 7 million dollar company to over 100 million company.

You just never know... life just happens.... sometimes when you not not even looking...

Fear

We are not born with fear... we learn it.
I am so glad that I was so naive growing up, I had very little parental guidance so I learned pretty much learned everything on my own. I was very naive and had little fear of failure because I knew no better, I just dove in. I got burned a lot and messed up plenty but I learned with every misstep.
Being young and naive I trusted everyone and found out very early that not everyone is who they appear to be and because I always look for the good in people I still get fooled today but I have a much better radar on those that may be untruthful.
I have also learned that people are the way they are for a reason and I try my very best to find that kid in everyone, the person who trusted others before they themselves got burned by someone somewhere in their life.
Again I do not think people are born with fear or are born a racist or are born angry , somebody hurt them , that saying of “ hurt people, hurt people” is so true.
Yes, as we get older we get more guarded and trust less but you cannot allow it to stop you from trying to find the good in people, it is worth the effort.

Tough

There are people that think they are tough and there is tough.
My cousin , Bobby, is and always was tough, he is now in his 70’s and is around 15 years older than me.
I always looked up to Bobby , as a kid he taught me to hunt and fish and how to gut a fish or skin a rabbit. At around 12 or 13 I spent a lot of time on the back his motorcycle and trust me he never once slowed down because I was on the back.
He joined the Army during Vietnam and became a drill Sargeant and he is wife spent many years in Germany and overseas. And he was that drill Sargeant he saw in the movies, very intimidating and he had no problem getting in peoples faces.
If you want political correctness or someone who talks pretty and looks pretty...move on. Bobby is always himself... always! You never get two faces or two different people, he will tell you in no uncertain terms exactly what he thinks, so if you can’t handle it don’t ask him.
Bobby just found out he has cancer taking the treatments to fight his new battle and to live as much as he can, and in typical Bobby fashion he decided to live life like there is no tomorrow, he just purchased a brand new truck and he has carpenters busy at his home in Florida and his new motorcycle arrives in few more days.
When I see people in the business world or really anywhere around me that talk tough or think they are tough I think of Bobby and just laugh inside. Those that are tough don’t have to tell you - you just know it. Actions always speak louder than words.