Break the Chain

Break the chain..
YOU have the POWER..

Did you have a tough childhood ? Did you not get positive support or hugs or love ?
Did you watch abuse growing up ?
Did you dream someday your life would be different?

Be the change you dreamed of.. break the chain.

Have you ever heard the phrase.. hurt people- hurt people -? It is so very true , we have a tendency to latch out at others or to follow the same abusive path that we said we would never do and sometimes we even realize it and still go down the same path. Break the chain -

Do you feel you may drink to much or you use booze to numb the pain..stop..it is not numbing anything, it is only hurting your body and mind..be strong and substitute it with something good.
Want a drink ? ..Read a book, read an autobiography of someone you admire or take a walk and just appreciate the trees and nature.
Sound hokey..yea maybe but try it and you may be surprised.

Own your life and your destiny , only YOU can turn it around .. just do it..commit.
Be honest with yourself and want to be that person that you always wanted to be, that friend you wanted to be or that parent. Break the chain ..it STARTS with YOU.

Henry James, was an American author is regarded considered by many to be among the greatest novelists in the English language once said:

Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.
- Henry James-

Be kind to yourself first..

Help others

From A Christmas Carol:

“It is required of every man, “that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellowmen, and travel far and wide; and if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death. It is doomed to wander through the world — oh, woe is me! — and witness what it cannot share, but might have shared on earth, and turned to happiness!”

 The message is simple- give back and help others-

The force of that fictional lament is born out in our own experiences. Research suggests that giving to others, when a matter of choice and not compulsion, makes us happy — often, happier than when we spend on ourselves. When we alleviate others’ pain, we feel a special pleasure. The things we remember and savor most in life include the times we helped others.

There are countless others who know the great happiness that poor Jacob Marley cannot share. Christmas Day — which for Christians symbolizes the birth of hope and love in the face of darkness and cruelty, much as Scrooge was inspired by his night of ghostly visits to make a fresh start and live fully — seems a good time to ponder that.

Merry Christmas!

Learning

We are always learning.. or at least we should be.
Life is our school , every person around us has lessons for us to learn.

We all have have good and bad in our lives and difficulties , we learn more from our failures then our successes. Success without integrity is not a success at all , it may take you longer to get there by always take the right path and “ getting there” may not even end up where you started out.

Follow the right path and believe and always observe and learn , learn from other’s - do not judge others but try to understand why they may be what they are or do what they do.
Remember we all are struggling with something and we have had experiences that shaped us.

Enjoy the good and extend the olive branch and follow the right path, the path of love and hope.
We are all just visiting, make the best of every day and do not get bogged down with the hate, look up and take a deep breath..it will be ok.. smile.

I wish you all Peace, love and understanding.

And the beauty of it all is it is YOUR choice...choose the right paths and if you fall off the right path don’t beat yourself up.. that is part of the learning.

64

64.. that was old my sister Eileen was when she passed away yesterday.

My sister had a tough life and battled with the same devil that grabbed my father and still has hold of my other sister and nephew.. alcohol.

I watched my whole life as alcohol destroyed so many lives, not only those infected with this disease but the family members around them. I thank the good lord every day that I am not an alcoholic and neither are my kids, it is a shame how we still glorify getting drunk. I wish that instead of all those commercials showing people laughing and in these beautiful bodies that they show a person at the end of their life that have been alcoholics then maybe it would not be so glorified.
My sister loved to laugh and had a big heart, unfortunately a lot of that got lost in her later years because of the drinking.

As I have said in past blogs I always preached to my kids - everything in moderation- it is not so much that alcohol is bad it is the abuse of alcohol and some people like my good friend Steve who passed away way to young and my sister have a type personality that they do not have a shut off switch so they abuse the booze or even pot and eventually get lead to pills or higher drugs, it is a vicious circle and ugly.
I am sad for all the years my sister lost and all the years that will lose and all because she killed herself..slowly but it was her choice and that makes it even harder in a lot of respects. She tried rehab several times and was clean for three years straight then started it all up again. I loved my sister and to watch her do to herself what my dad and uncle and other friends did to themselves was hurtful but most of all I hurt for her.

If you have a loved one that shows signs of alcoholism try your best to hit it early, be honest and try to help. Ultimately it is always their choice but at least try. Laughing and looking the other way will not help, they need you, they need help.
And if you have kids or grandkids set the example , show them. What they see is much more powerful then what you say.

Humble and Kind

You know there's a lot that goes by the front door
Don't forget the keys under the mat
Childhood stars shine, always stay humble and kind
Go to church 'cause your momma says to
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won't be a waste of time
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door say please say thank you
Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie
I know you got moutains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you're dreamin' come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

Don't expect a free ride from no one
Don't hold a grudge or a chip and here's why
Bitterness keeps you from flying
Always stay humble and kind
Know the difference between sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
I love you ain't no pick up line so
Always stay humble and kind

Social madness

Social madness..


Do you view social sites to keep up with your friends and loved ones or do you view it more now to see what the people you may not like are doing ?

As usual people find a way to take what should be a nice and positive tool and use it for bad and negative. Social sites can be a great way to share pictures of your love ones or events you liked but people use it to spy or troll.
This is nothing new of course with good always comes bad, I always tried to preach to my kids growing up to use their on mind and not be sheep and I also said that everything in moderation. For example alcohol is not bad unless you abuse it, everything in moderation.

Same with social sites, use your own mind , realize that other people may be posting to just bust you up and to get you annoyed. Everyone likes to post the good but trust me everyone is going through something so do not waste your time being jealous or wanting what they have.

With all this technology comes responsibility and the ability to stay focused on your family and your goals and what positive you can do today.

Use social media to say hi to an old friend and stay in their lives , we all need to hear the positive..
Use it as a positive!

The Dreaming Kind

The Dreaming Kind

I turned off the news again tonite
It’s getting hard to watch everyone fight
Every time I turn my face
I see the world from outer space
How small we are but look how much we have to waste

Giving it all I got
There’ll be no more wasting precious time
Giving it all I got
Nothing’s ever going to change my mind
That we’re beautiful inside
You could say I’m the dreaming kind

Could you imagine it, if love was blind
If on this earth everybody was kind
Oh what a different world it’d be
If peace was our reality
But how far will we have to fall
before we meet destiny

Giving it all I got
There’ll be no more wasting precious time
Giving it all I got
Nothing’s ever going to change my mind
That we’re beautiful inside
You could say I’m the dreaming kind

Every child is pure until he learns to hate
They watch with innocence and imitate
They say love can conquer all, well, there is no time to wait

Giving it all I got
Even if I can’t change a thing
Giving it all I got
Gonna fight to keep remembering
We are beautiful inside
You could say I’m the dreaming kind

credits

Important

It’s nice to be important but it more important to be nice.

This is why titles have always meant nothing to me, both for me and in others.
People will not respect you merely because you have a title and you earn that.
And to lead with respect with always result in an up hill battle and most likely lead to failure.
Intimidation can only go so far, People will find a way to undermine you and certainly will never give you 100% because without respect you will never obtain trust.
Respect and trust go hand and hand.
People will also see through the BS, just like a dog smells fear people can feel sincerity.

Be nice.

It is that simple, be nice to everyone not just the people you think will get you something and not just certain days but every day.

This time of year you hear a lot of Merry Christmas- happy holidays- God Bless - and you hear a lot of nice words but put those well wishes into action. To many times I hear all these nice words only to hear gossip and ugliness right after.

Just be nice...

It’s a wonderful life

One of my favorite movies is It’s a Wonderful Life..
In it the main character gets a chance to see what life would have been like if he was never born.
The two things you draw from this movie is-
You make a difference!
And do not get caught up in the day to day or money issues so much so that you lose yourself and the simple love of your family.
This IS a wonderful life and there are so many things that we can be thankful for and the most important things do not revolve around money.
Use this time around the holidays to look up, look around, see the people that are important in your life and spend time with them.

Managing

An excerpt from the book: Everyone’s a Coach..

 In the typical organization, the most frequent response people get to their performance is no response. We have a name for the kind of manager who only notices employees when they make a mistake. We call this a “ leave-alone-zap! manager.” You leave the person alone long enough for them to fail, then you move in and zap them. The leave-alone-zap! is the main strategy in what I refer to as “ seagull management.”  Seagull managers fly in, make a lot of noise, dump on everyone, and then fly off somewhere. 

That that sound familiar?

We all have seen this and , unfortunately, have been a part of this in our work day.

Be better than that, get involved- Listen - help ! 

You improve when others around you improve.

“A rising tide lifts all boats.”

Land of Hopes and Dreams

Land of Hope and Dreams

Bruce Springsteen

LYRICS

Oh oh this train, I'm riding this train
Don't you wanna ride
(This train)
Oh get on, get on (this train)

Grab your ticket and your suitcase
Thunder's rolling down the tracks
You don't know where you're goin' now
But you know you won't be back
Darlin' if you're weary
Lay your head upon my chest
We'll take what we can carry
And we'll leave the rest

Big wheels rolling through fields
Where sunlight streams
Meet me in a land of hope and dreams

I will provide for you
And I'll stand by your side
You'll need a good companion
For this part of the ride
Leave behind your sorrows
Let this day be the last
Tomorrow there'll be sunshine
And all this darkness past

Big wheels roll through fields
Where sunlight streams
Meet me in a land of hope and dreams

This train carries saints and sinners
This train carries losers and winners
This train carries whores and gamblers
This train carries lost souls
I said, this train dreams will not be thwarted
This train faith will be rewarded
This train hear the steel wheels singin'
This train bells of freedom ringin'

This train carries saints and sinners
This train carries losers and winners
This train carries whores and gamblers
This train carries lost souls
I said, this train carries broken-hearted
This train thieves and sweet souls departed
This train carries fools and kings
This train, all aboard 

I said, this train dreams will not be thwarted
This train faith will be rewarded
This train hear the steel wheels singin'
This train bells of freedom ringin'

Come on this train
People get ready
You don't need no ticket
All you got do is just get on board
On board this train
This train, people get ready
You don't need no ticket (oh I know you don't)
You don't need no ticket you just get on board (people get ready)
You just thank the Lord (people get ready) 

Come on this train (people get ready)

Christmas

The true meaning of Christmas..

As usual our society wraps up celebrations with spending money and fables, rather it is Easter and the Easter bunny or Christmas and Santa Claus we forget the real meaning and worse do not even bother to talk about the meanings with our kids.

The Christmas season is suppose to be the time we celebrate Jesus and his teachings.

What I always found fascinating, well maybe not always but in my later years, is many religions and people differ on who Jesus was but they all recognize that there was a man who walked this earth thousands of years ago that preached goodness and love.
That is what we should celebrate, that is what we should talk about with our kids and grandkids.

He talked about Loving your neighbor as yourself, not certain neighbors but everybody.
He talked about the evil of money and greed.
He preached to help those less fortunate then you.
He talked about forgiveness and not judging others.

No one can argue that his teaching were , and still are , - simple and powerful.

You can disagree with what men have done in the name of religion or what powerful men have done to the church and wars that have been fought in the name of religion but you cannot argue those words, his simple words of love.
We know that his words were so powerful that we still talk about them thousands of years later and they are still words that if you try to live by you will feel more free and rewarded.

Those people that fought wars because of religion or did wrong in the churches were just men , men that power and money took them over.
It does not diminish what a man born thousands of years ago said,-  how did a man who lived in a time of no mass communication spread this word?
Add on that he was not born into wealth - how and why?

All I know is I hope we do not lose his message while we run up our credit cards in efforts to show the people that we care about that we love them.-

If you care about them then try to live his words - forgive- Love- live simple and help others.

Merry Christmas

Sound familiar?

Does this sound like anyone you might know ?

Below is an excerpt from a book written by Gerry Spence-

“I know people who use argument merely to hear their own voices. They are noise makers.
These people seem perfectly secure, but they are enchanted by their own words, enthralled with their own wisdom, and they are, to be sure, as boring as popcorn without salt. They have, during the course of their lives, made so much noise and filled the air with so much authoritative banality that they have no time to form an original thought, nor have they given themselves the opportunity to hear and learn anything from listening to anyone else”.


I know a lot of people like this and it never ceases to amaze me that they really think the rest of us do not see the “real” them or the “ real” truth.
They love hearing themselves talk .
Do not be fooled, let them live in their own world and work around them.
Do not even give them the satisfaction of arguing, choose your fights.
I always say that I only have so much oxygen in a day and I do not want to waste it on those that only want to listen to their own voice anyway.

Move on

Never Forget

Never Forget..
Never forget where you came from or who helped get you there.

Our rewards are in the journey, the people we meet and have helped us and that we learned from.

At the beginning of our work world we are grateful for the little things and for the people that take the time to talk to us and give us advice or show us a better way and thank goodness for the people that gave us an opportunity when we had no experience.

At the beginning it is about the friendships and learning and being a part of something, do not lose those feelings.
Too many people forget the simple things and the joy of learning along the way and those moments of laughter as you worked and grew as a person.

We have a tendency to get caught up with the ambition to do more, make more money and get that promotion and along the way we forget what got us to where we are and the people that got us there, worse yet we turn on backs on them or just leave them behind without even keeping in touch or showing them our appreciation.

The holidays is a great time to call that someone and say thank you.

And pay it forward.. help that other person , stop the rush of life to enjoy the rewards of helping others - smile- Listen - we learn a lot more when we listen and who knows , maybe that person that helped you when you needed it may need that support in their life now... make the time..

Never forget.

Fuel

Going through life what has fueled me are :
People that are bullies
People that ignore me
People that think they are better than everyone else

These are all fuel for me to do better, to be better.

My goals were and still are:
Make my wife proud
Provide opportunities to my kids that I did not have
Try to be there for my grandkids

My fuel helps me achieve my goals and pushes me.

I never claim to know all the secrets, far from it but I have learned through the years that if you stay focused on doing good and helping others while learning from everyone you can do some pretty cool things.
 I have been blessed 10 times over and continue to try to remember that and to keep trying to stay focused and fueled and never take a day for granted. With each day comes opportunity, opportunities to learn and to try to be a better person and make a difference.

Do not allow bullies to beat you down.. turn around and use them as fuel.
He who laughs last , laughs best.
By buying into their negativity you allow them to win - YOU allow them- do not give them that win, believe in yourself and understand that their’s is a house of cards- most likely built on insecurities and their own power grab.

Stay positive - push through- and remember your goals.

The Long Way Around

Lyrics from a popular song -

My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live 

But I, I could never follow
No, I, I could never follow 

I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel 

I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow 

By taking the long way
Taking the long way around 

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish, and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to 

No, I, I could never follow 

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now 

But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I'm taking the long way 

Well, I fought with a stranger, and I met myself
I opened my mouth, and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself 

But I, I could never follow
No, I, I could never follow 

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me, I can still be found

Complicated

Life is not complicated, we make it complicated.
We worry, we work so we can buy more, there is a lyric in a Harry Chain song, “ Let Time Go Lightly” that goes- ..
“Morning, a time for breaking ground and sowing seed, and yet we give up our sunshine so we can buy what we need.”
We only have so much time and yes we need to work to make money to survive but do not allow it to overtake you and allow you to forget about enjoying the simple things.
Work hard and do your best in whatever you do because there can be much reward in work and try your best to have a good work, life balance - it flies by.
Try to uncomplicate your life.

Liars

You can run but you can not hide..
No matter how far you run, you are always there..

The wheels of justice do turn.. slowly but they DO turn.
Eventually your lies will catch up to you, call it karma, call it justice,  call it what you want but I have seen it time and time again. People think they are out smarting others and can lie and do wrong and no one will ever know - wrong.

Life can be so much easier if you simply try your best never to intentionally hurt people and you tell the truth, your shoulders will be much lighter.

You will not only feel better about yourself you will start to see good things happening in your life, you will be rewarded.
Stop being selfish and worrying about making more money to buy more stuff and stepping on people to get all that crap..let it go..less is more.

Be true to yourself because YOU know and in the end you will not escape it, it is never to late to turn the leaf and find true happiness.