Five Warning Signs You Aren't Trusted As Much As You Think You Are

You will rarely, if ever, hear someone say that to you directly. Trust is one of those topics, along with religion and politics, that is usually taboo to discuss openly in the workplace. It’s often talked about in the shadows and hallways of the organization, not in conference rooms and one-on-one meetings.
Because trust is a difficult and sensitive issue to address, people often feel blind-sided when it finally comes to their attention that they have “trust issues” in their relationships. None of us likes to think we’re not trustworthy, and when we learn other people don’t perceive us that way, it comes as a shock and disappointment. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. If you pay attention, you can see the warning signs of low trust in your relationships. Here’s five warning signs you’re skating on the thin ice of low trust:

1. Rumors and gossip – Since trust can be a touchy subject to address, particularly with the person that isn’t trusted, low-trust concerns usually surface in rumors and gossip. If you find that you are frequently the subject of the office water cooler discussion, you may want to figure out why.

2. Secrecy and withholding of information – It goes without saying that people won’t share important information with you if you aren’t trusted. Consistently finding that you’re left in the dark or are the last to know about critical details should be a cause for concern.

3. Exclusion from activities – Being competent in your role and building positive relationships are two key components of being a trustworthy person. Being passed over, or worse, not even being considered for key projects or initiatives, may mean that you’re falling short in those two areas.

4. Your opinion isn’t valued – When trustworthy people speak, other people usually listen. Trust is built over a period of time as people prove they are competent, ethical, dependable, and care about others. If you don’t carry that sort of weight in your relationships, you may need to work on building trust.

5. Stress or tension – It often feels like you’re walking on eggshells when it comes to interacting with people you don’t trust. You’re suspicious of their motives, how they’ll react, and whether or not they’ll take advantage of you. If people always seem to be on guard around you, it could be a sign they don’t trust you.

Just because people don’t normally say “I don’t trust you” right to your face, doesn’t mean they aren’t communicating that truth to you in other more subtle, but no less serious ways. Pay attention to the warning signs of low trust in your relationships and take steps to build trust in healthy, productive ways.

FROM DRIVER SKIP ON MENTORING

I had an OLD guy who taught me, yes," Like energy and water, wisdom is not created nor is it destroyed, it is simply cycled." is true. Face it, there's very few young guys out here, AND, the one's here need to be pointed in the right direction....WHY NOT? Right now, I'm helping 5-6 guys with the tariff and helpers through out the country...IF, we want this industry to survive, education,
is the only answer...I'm here to help.

My Mentor

June 12th 2010 one of my most important mentor's passed away - Mr. Paul Arpin.

Paul Arpin was a mentor to may people, especially the last 20 years or so of his life. He found his biggest reward by helping drivers grow and learn and own their own agencies.
He would spend hours every day and at all times of the day just discussing how to improve and how to profit and manage.

I watched him start people out that had very little management skills or no prior experience on running their own business and turn them into successful independent business men.

Being a mentor was what he was born to do.

Paul Arpin was a self made multi- millionaire at a very young age. When he was married he and his wife, Peg, bought their first house with cash. Paul did not believe in loans. He worked hard for every dollar he owned and saved for what ever it is he wanted to purchase. Even in the work place, Paul bought his trucks and trailers out right. He build a company from a few million dollars a year to over 200 million.

And yet toward the end he would tell you that mentoring, helping others, was where he loved to spend his time and where he felt most fulfilled.

I know that he made a difference in my life. I try to listen and follow his example as best I could, even today.

Being a mentor is part of giving back and paying it forward.

Mr. Arpin lives on every day in the hearts and minds of people that he helped and cared for and mentored.

Who Should You Mentor ?

When Should You Mentor?

I once had the opportunity to take batting practice in Boston’s Fenway Park and to talk with Hall of Fame Red Sox great Jim Rice.
Jim talked about how he was mentored as a ball player throughout his life.

• He honed his athletic ability in his neighborhood growing up with older kids where he learned how to work hard to be better every day.
• Rice learned the art of catching a fly ball off the Green Monster from Carl Yastrzemski when he was just a rookie.
• Ted Williams showed him how to hit out of a slump before he was ever in a slump.

Rice then demonstrated how to swing the bat to get a hit every time. Wow, batting lessons from a hall-of-famer – it doesn’t get better than that. Well, they only way it could have been better is if I had those batting lessons before I got up to take batting practice.

Teaching others what you know is best done before they need to use your knowledge

Who Can Be a Mentor ?

Who Can Be a Mentor?

This story helps answer that question:

“Once, a man was so busy building his house that he didn’t have any time to plant trees. When he finished the house, he became occupied with his job and couldn’t take time away to plant trees. He met a woman at work; they married and had a daughter. His life became so busy with his family that he didn’t have time to plant any trees.

One summer day he was outside playing in his backyard with his daughter; the bright sun was making them both very hot.

‘Daddy,’ she said, looking up with her hand on her forehead to shade her eyes. ‘Why don’t we have any trees in our yard?’

He thought about what his daughter asked and replied, ‘I guess I was always too busy to plant any trees. I’m sorry I didn’t plant any when I built the house. It’s too late now. Even the fastest-growing trees would take at least five years to reach a height that would give us shade.’

To which his daughter replied, ‘Daddy, in five years I will only be eleven years old. I’ll still want to play in the backyard with you then, and I’ll still want shade from the trees then. So you’re right, the best time to plant trees would have been when you built the house; but the second best time to plant those trees is right now.’”

In this story, the mentor is the five-year old daughter who teaches her father that it’s never too late to make the right choice
Anyone can be a mentor if they are willing to pass on what they have learned

Why Should You Mentor

Why Should You Mentor?

The universe is built on self-sustaining cycles. Each cycle must give to the next to receive back in return.
There is a cycle to energy. It can’t be created or destroyed; it simply changes forms. Potential energy can be converted to kinetic energy, which can be converted to thermal energy, and then return to potential energy. The original energy remains.
There is a cycle to water. The limited amount of water that exists, continuously cycles through its various forms: evaporation from the earth, condensation in the clouds, and precipitation back to the earth. Water is never created or destroyed.
There is also a cycle to wisdom. In the book of Ecclesiastes we read, “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” Like energy and water, wisdom is not created nor is it destroyed, it is simply cycled.

You must give that which you have received to open the pathway to receive even more

Mentor

What is a Mentor?

The definition of a mentor is “a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.”
The word mentor actually originates as a character in the Greek classic The Odyssey. Mentor was a close companion of the king and was entrusted to keep the king’s son safe until he returned.
Since we now use the name Mentor to describe “a wise and trusted counselor or teacher” you might assume that Mentor did a tremendous job in protecting and guiding the young son.  However, in the classic we find that Mentor’s efforts on his own were of no use in protecting or counseling or teaching the son.
It was not until Mentor obtained wisdom from the gods that he was able to give sage advice and encouragement to the son.

A mentor is simply one who passes on the wisdom they have obtained during their life