Breathe

This is the time of year that kills..stress kills .. too many hours kills...breathe.
Remember you can only do so much, if you take on too much you will make mistakes and worse you may lessen your time here on this earth...breathe..look around..stop for a few minutes.
When I went to birthing class with my wife many years ago the instructor taught us how to breathe and relax and to be conscious of our body. She would have us just sit and take deep breaths then think about a certain part of our bodies and to try to relax them. Sure enough when she started with our toes I realized that they were curled and tight, then she worked our way up to our shoulders and along the way I realized I was tense and by breathing and being conscious of it I was able to relax.
Here I am over 30 years later and I still remember that lesson.
Do yourself a big favor and sometime during the course of your busy day or night just sirpt for a few minutes and breathe and be conscious of your surroundings and of yourself.
The money will do you no good if you have a stroke or cut years off your life because of stress.
A good friend told me years ago..worth smarter-not harder.

Some cliches

The reason why cliches are repeated so often is because they are true.

Dance with the one who brung ya.
This cliche applies far beyond prom night. It should be a montra in the buisness world, in academia , and at home.It's a reminder about loyalty and appreciation.

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
That comes from Seneca, the Roman philosopher who was born in 5 B.C.  It'll be worth repeating for another two thousand years , at least.

Whether you think you can or can't, you're right.

Let time go lightly

"Let Time Go Lightly"

I let time go lightly when I'm here with you,
I let time go lightly when the day is through.
I keep a watch on time when I've have work to do,
I let time go lightly with you.

Morning, a time for breaking ground and sowing seeds,
and yet we give up our sunshine
so we can buy what we need.
That leaves the evening, to share a fire with a friend or two,
to lose sight of the hours
To go lightly with you

I let time go lightly when I'm here with you,
I let time go lightly when the day is through.
I keep a watch on time when I've got work to do,
I let time go lightly with you.

Old friends, they mean much more to me than the new friends,
Cause they can see where you are,
and they know where you've been.
Music, has been my oldest friend, my fiercest foe,
cause it can take me so high,
(High.....) Yes it can make me so low.

When I was a child my mother would help me along
She'd rock me to sleep and sing me a song.
So I learned to love the music of all the tunes in my mind
the changing of chords, the rhythm of time.

I let time go lightly when I'm here with you,
I let time go lightly when the day is through.
I keep a watch on time when I've got work to do,
I let time go lightly with you.

Yes I let time go lightly with you, and a fire, and a friend or two
With you and a fire and a friend or two
A friend or two and you

Moms and leaders- part 3

Encouraging — Moms are awesome cheerleaders. They are always looking for opportunities to cheer on their kids to be the best they can be. Excellent leaders are constantly looking for ways to bring out the best in their people. It can be as simple as spending a few minutes to build rapport with a team member by talking about their mutual interests outside of work, or it could be something as big as publicly recognizing a team member in front of his/her peers. Regardless of the action, great leaders look for ways to encourage their followers.

Responsible — Moms are the role models of dependable and responsible leadership. If moms say they are going to do something, they do it. They can always be counted on to fulfill their end of the bargain. Shouldn’t workplace leaders do the same? Employees crave leaders who demonstrate responsibility. They want to know their leader takes their obligations seriously and will follow through on their commitments. If leaders want responsible team members, they need to walk the talk and show what responsibility looks like.

Not everyone’s mother has been a great role model of leadership. Mothers, just like all other kinds of leaders, aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. They fail. They disappoint. We can learn from those experiences too, even if it’s as basic as what not to do as a leader.

The best mothers illustrate what great leadership looks like. They act as mentors, are objective in dealing with people, are trustworthy, helpful, encouraging, and responsible. Anyone in a leadership role would be wise to lead a little more like mom.

Moms and leaders- part 2

Moms and leaders have a lot in common..

Trustworthy — It goes without saying that moms are trustworthy. Leaders should be no different. Trustworthiness is the foundation upon which successful leadership is built. Leaders should embody the four elements of trust: ability, believability, connectedness, and dependability. Above all else, team members should never have to doubt the trustworthiness of their leader. If you’re not sure if you’re building or eroding trust, check out this free e-book.

Helpful — Who stays up late to help their child complete a school project the night before it’s due? Who drives the team carpool all day on Saturdays to shuttle the kids between matches? Who does the laundry, cooks the meals, cleans the house, packs lunches, and plays nurse when the kids are sick? Mom, that’s who! (Yes, sometimes Dad too, but I’ll save that for a Father’s Day article.) Mom is always there to help, no matter how big or small the need. The best leaders do the same. Their team members know they can approach the leader with any question or need, no matter how trivial, and the leader will welcome the opportunity to provide assistance.

Moms and leaders

Moms and leaders have lots in common ..

Mentor — What does a mentor do? A mentor shares the wisdom that has been gleaned from life experiences. Mentors offer advice, perspective, and guidance to help their mentee navigate their life or career journey. Sometimes that comes in the form of encouragement and other times as correction. Moms, and great leaders, are trusted mentors.

Objective — Moms have a unique ability to be objective in the way they treat their kids, and leaders should use the same approach with their team members. Moms love all of their children completely, yet uniquely. If love were able to be measured, a mom’s love would be complete, 100% for each child. And if love came in different colors, each child’s color would be unique: blue, red, purple, etc. Leaders should be completely objective with their followers, yet treat each one uniquely according to their needs and situation.

Spoiled

louis c k generation of spoiled idiots ..

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy ..

You can usually find truth in humor, in this video comedian Louie C K talks about how advanced we are and how far we have come with technology and yet how unhappy we are.
My generation understands how far we have come because we remember the rotary phone, no cell phones or the computer, black and white TV, cars with no AC and roll down windows but there is whole other generation now behind us that do not know life without all this technology we have today. Because they do not know what life was out without all these luxuries most are simply spoiled and do not really appreciate what they have, they also do not know how to shut down and look up.

 It is the next generation's biggest challenge- how to harness this great technology and yet no lose simplicity and human interaction.



https://youtu.be/dgEvjW1Pq4I

Foundation

Build a strong foundation-
Your children are an extension of you and it is very important that you help build a strong foundation that they can draw from in their life and that starts from Ruth's day they are born. The time they spend with you as children is what they know of the world around them and what they will try to immediate in their adult lives. The time you spend with them, the husband love will be the beginning of their foundation. How you treat others and the words you use will be part of their foundation, they are always watching and listening, you are their world.
You will have no more important job on this earth , being a pRent and enjoying the life of your children is what it is all about.
Yes, you need money so you can provide for your children but do not forget the foundation.
Money will not buy your children's memories or give them the knowledge of family, only you and your time will do that.
Enjoy the ride and give your children the most important gift you could ever give them- You-

All you NEED is ..

Love.
Love, Love, Love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.
It's easy.
Nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.
It's easy.

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.

Nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

Respect

Respect is very important in life.

Respecting those that we may disagree with or have opposite views with is essential to life.

Getting along and respecting our nice little inner circle is easy , and funny thing is some in that inner circle may not be who you even think they are.

You do not have to lessen your values or beliefs if you respect others , actually the opposite is more true- respecting others takes strength and is honorable.

You cannot look for respect if you continue to deny others of that same right.

It stay more in control when you respect people that have different views , you are saying that it is ok for others to come at things at a different point of view and give them a chance to explain or vent, - it is ok and healthy.

Take a breath, listen and stay positive- 

Respect everyone!

WHY ?

Why do you do what you do ?
You need to know the why to help you through the day to day.
Is it to provide for your family ?
Pay bills ?
Because you just love it ?
Know the why and don't forget it.
If you do what you do to provide for your family- don't forget your family !
Don't forget why you work in the first place- sometimes we can get so caught up in the day to day and the worries and the hurray up we can forget why we get up and go to work.
Take time for yourself and for goodness sake take time for your family.
Know the Why

Being Positive

Have you ever told someone that you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed ?
We often can't help feeling crabby, but mood swings can be reversed. We can control our moods.
Think about that for a second.
There are so many things we can't control, forces we are powerless to change because so much of life is unpredictable. We can't control disease. We can't control the weather. We can't control the world economy and the national debt and so many things that are a part of our lives.
BUT WE CAN CONTROL OUR MOODS.
A mood is a simple reflection of our attitude and we can certainly change our attitude.

Start over

Monday's stink.. they can also be a reset.
Start over..
We can all do better..be better. - Accept the challenge - use today to start a positive attitude.
Use today to start to forgive and take the weights off of our shoulders so you can press on.
Stop worrying about what others think of you.
Reject false choices.
Speak Truth.
And you don't need a bid title to make a big difference.
Stop saying someday and start today- use today as a reset-
Start over.

Light up the night

A speech from Peter Dingkage , an actor from Games of Thromes to college students..

Raise the rest of your life to meet you. Don’t search for defining moments because they will never come.. The moments that define you have already happened. And they will already happen again. And it passes so quickly, so please bring each other along with you.

Life after college sucks. It really does. I mean, I don’t know, at least it did for me, but that’s the only thing I know. You just get a bit derailed. But soon something starts to happen, trust me. A rhythm sets in. Just like it did after your first few days here. Just try not to wait until, like me, you’re 29 until you find it. And if you are that’s fine too, some of us never find it.

 Don’t wait until THEY tell you “you are ready”! Get in there! Sing!.. The world might say “You are not allowed to yet” I waited a long time out in the world before I gave myself permission to fail. Please, don’t even bother asking. Don’t bother telling the world you are ready.

 Show it! 

Do it! 

What did Beckett say: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”.. Treat everyone kindly and LIGHT UP the night!

https://www.scoopwhoop.com/inspirational-speech-peter-dinklage/#.344uyd8c5

Pressure

Don't confuse yesterday's pressure or tomorrow's pressure with today's pressure.

Live for the moment you're facing. 

Take care of today, and tomorrow becomes easier to deal with. Don't waste precious energy worrying about what you have to do tomorrow.

It's like the person who doesn't sleep well because he's worried about the future, and then he can't perform well today either because he's too tired. 

This is self defeating.

Spend more time DOING and less time complaining. Too often, people who feel stress start complaining about how much pressure they are under.

This is all wasted energy, energy that could be used for something else.

Role Models

On the road to success, you're just not learning from your own experiences.

People all around us have something to teach us if only we could be aware of them. We don't always have to be reinventing the wheel. The people we know and work with must be used as resources, or we are shortchanging ourselves.

We must learn from the people who have made the journey before us. Not only can they tell us the pitfalls to avoid , they can show us the way.

The important thing is to select the right role models. We are not looking for people to entertain us- the class clowns. We are not looking for people that make us feel good- the friends that are always singing our praises. Nor are we necessary looking for people we like or admire from afar. We aren't looking to join fan clubs. 

We are interested only in identifying traits in others that we can use to make ourselves better. And these people can be found anywhere- friends, family,whoever. The key is to identify the specific traits that we admire- those traits that can make us better- and emulate them.

We must learn from others mistakes. 

Sometimes learning what not to do is more important than learning what to do.

Self - esteem

We can't go anywhere without strong self-esteem.
We have to be honest with ourselves about where it comes from.
The important thing to remember is that self- esteem must be earned. You must deserve it, just as you must deserve victory. If the effort is there, plus the discipline to back it up, you will automatically start to feel better about yourself. There is no better feeling you get when you've taken control of a situation.
Whether you believe it or not , you do have control over your life.
Life is NOT something that happens to you, something you are powerless to do anything about.
YOU make the choice to succeed or you fail. You decide by your work ethic and your will. And there is no time limit on this. Nor is there any age limit. It is never to late to transform your life and implement the changes that are going to lead you to your dreams.
The option is always there.

Goals

You need goals !

Set goals, both personally and professionally.

You need goals, daily goals, weekly goals, and long range goals.

Want to lose weight ?

Want a raise ?

Want a better relationship?

Set goals then make a plan and here's the important part..stick to it !

Do not make a victory lap after a day or a month..make it a life habit.

Make goals and then make it a point to stick to the plan for 30 straight days, after 30 days it should start to become habit.

Without goals you will never achieve your true potential.

With goals you should constantly be moving the goal post.

Want to be a better person, better at what you do or look ?

Then DO IT !

Your choice

We all have baggage, we all have stories growing up that shaped our lives and many of the stories are not pleasant..what do we do ? As we grow and get older we have choices , choose a working class hero. 

Lyrics from John Lennon-

As soon as you're born they make you feel small 

By giving you no time instead of it all

Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear
A working class hero is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see
A working class hero is something to be

There's room at the top they're telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill

A working class hero is something to be
If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Tell them "Why"

The most most important ingredient in coaching or managing or teaching is explain " why".
Too many managers bark out orders but do not explain or train as to why.
Do not assume that they know, explain the bigger picture, let them know why you are asking them to do what you are asking. Who will it effect? What will transpire because of their actions?
If they understand it more they will be able to see the why and then they will begin to grow and take on more responsibility.
How did you learn ?
Most likely you learned your best lessons in real time and on the job but you most likely had someone take the time to explain the why.
You are doing a gross mis justice to your help and employees if you do not take the time to train them properly and let them know the domino effect that takes place from their actions and words.

Tell them "Why"

Coaching people

Five steps for coaching people:
1) Tell people what you want them to do.
2) Show them what a good performance looks like.
3) Let them do it
4) Observe their performance
5) Praise progress and/or redirect

Managers most often miss the fourth step: Observe.
They give directions then clear the area. If they don't stay around to watch, you have no data with which to do the last, most important step: catch them doing things right, or else redirect their efforts.

Inspire Change

An excerpt from the book- Soul of a butterfly- reflections on Life's journey- Muhammad Ali..

We live in a world intoxicated by power and wealth. We have countries struggling against each other, nations taking advantage of stronger nations , men and women being killed, wounded, and uprooted by war.
With all that we've accomplished through history, we have yet to master peace. It is easier for most people to fight fire with fire, hatred with hatred, and injustice with vengeance.
There comes a time in everyone's life when he has to take a good look at himself and stop pointing the finger. We have to make an effort to be kind to others, even toward those we don't know.
It is through selfless acts that we inspire change.

More from..Own It

More from our last post on ..Own It..from a fellow blog reader and friend..


Own It... Own your actions, make them yours, your so right. It makes you better at what you do. For a long time I did things to my best for others. And at times that not being the best for me. So is it really my best ?
I learned I was better at doing my best for me which in turn becomes the best I can do for someone else.
So now I focus on me, yes everyone matters, but me being focused allows for you to get me best...
If I give my best, I feel successful for what I tried to achieve... 
Most people respond when they know it is your best effort and not just a show for them...
Success = Happiness Within