Positive Thought patterns

Examples of negative thought patterns are:

• Reviewing your day and lamenting what you could have said instead of what you did say
• Wondering what others think of you
• Reviewing your to-do list even if you have it written down in three places
• Worrying about how long the line at the grocery store is going to be

The best way to stop a habit is to replace it with another one.  If you notice that your default mode tends to be negative, try substituting one of these positive habits:

• Visualize a map pointing out everyone who loves you—and imagine beaming love at them.
• Make a list in your head of everything you are grateful for. Be specific—for example, don’t just list “my health” if it is good; list all the things are great about being healthy: Your brain works well, enabling you to have an interesting job, and your knees work well, allowing you to practice yoga.
• If you find yourself complaining about something, think of what your life would be like without it. For example, if you are annoyed about sitting at a long traffic light, think about the chaos and gridlock that would exist if the light weren’t there!

Your brain is always working.  Help it move in a positive direction that serves you—who you want to be and where you want to go. Just because life moves fast doesn’t mean it can’t be wonderful and meaningful and special. As you plunge headlong into the last month of the year, give positive thought patterns a try!

The Golden Rule

Tough day ? Hard month ? Crazy year ?
Well join the parade.. you are not alone.
No one said it would be easy and it sure ain't.

What to do ?

Scale it down, do not think about all the bad and definitely do not take on other people's problems.
Remember the Golden Rule.. treat others the way you want to be treated.
It is good to have long range plans, like what you want to achieve in say the next 5 years but remember to live within the day, take a look around and appreciate what you do have and the people in your life.

You cannot control a lot of things but you can control how YOU look at your day, your job and your life and remember if you think you have the market cornered on bad luck or money issues or relationship problems.. think again.. we are ALL dealing with something.

So give a hand up - smile and remember the Golden Rule.

Being Thankful

Being Thankful is not just a one day a year thing but Thanksgiving does, or should, remind us to be thankful for so many things in our life's.

For one having a life- just being here - look around- look up - appreciate everything around you.
Of course around the holiday season we spend a little more time with family and friends and hopefully we use that as time to just exhale and be thankful to have them in our life's.

Yes, we have struggles and differences of opinions and we for the most part we probably work too much and end up chasing the almighty dollar too much but need to be sure we take the time to breathe and enjoy the simple things- Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans- don't make the mistake to let it pass you by.

When you look back each stage of your life is kinda a blur- your elementary school years , high school- your teenage years- your twenties- each decade takes on a new life and hopefully lessons learned. We learn more from our failures then our accomplishments , Lord knows I have.

So my wish and hopes for all of you is that you take the time this holiday season to enjoy the simple things and that you smile a bit more and hug someone that you care about and just say " Thank You " to someone who may have helped you on your journey or just someone that enjoy being with.

Remember we are all just visiting.. might as well Enjoy The Ride !

Working Class Hero

Working Class Hero-

 

John Lennon, Plastic Ono Band

 

As soon as your born they make you feel small,
By giving you no time instead of it all,
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all,

A working class hero is something to be,

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool,
Till you're so f$%king crazy you can't follow their rules,

A working class hero is something to be,

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear,

A working class hero is something to be,

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,



A working Class Hero is something to be and to inspire to - we all have a story to tell and some of us have a background that may have been tough or ugly- trust me we have something. So stop thinking the other guy is better then you are or smarter then you are and just relish the simple things.
Strive to just do a little good every day and be a working class hero.

Truckin

My Church-

 

 

I’ve cussed on a Sunday
I’ve cheated and I’ve lied
I’ve fallen down from grace
A few too many times
But I find holy redemption
When I put this truck in drive

Roll the windows down and turn up the dial

Can I get a hallelujah
Can I get an amen
Feels like the Holy Ghost running through ya
When I play the highway FM
I find my soul revival
Singing every single verse
Yeah I guess that’s my church

 

When Hank brings the sermon
And Cash leads the choir
It gets my cold cold heart burning
Hotter than a ring of fire

When this wonderful world gets heavy
And I need to find my escape
I just keep the wheels rolling, radio scrolling
'Til my sins wash away

Can I get a hallelujah
Can I get an amen

Feels like the Holy Ghost running through ya
When I play the highway FM

 

 

Here is one of our drivers performing this song- ( just kiddin- but could be..give a listen )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x23tovFATDc

Mentor

I recently spoke to a gentleman who had signed on to Arpin earlier this year as a driver and with the help of another Veteran driver he has been successful and feels as if he has found a home.
The veteran driver took him under his wings and mentored him and spoke honestly to him on a variety of topics and because of that they have both bonded for life.

Have you ever mentored anybody ?

Sharing what helped you through the years can benefit the next guy and I promise you that in the process you will learn something, if nothing else it will remind you of what is important.

Pay it forward.

WHAT MAKES A GOOD MENTOR

Before becoming a mentor, here are a few things to understand about the role of mentoring. Most of us have had a teacher, supervisor or coach who has been a mentor to us and made a positive difference in our lives. Those people wore many hats, acting as delegators, role models, cheerleaders, policy enforcers, advocates, and friends. Mentors assume these different roles during the course of a relationship, and share some basic qualities:

• A sincere desire to be involved with someone else's success and to better someone's life
• Respect for people
• Active listening skills
• Empathy
• Ability to see solutions and opportunities
• Flexibility

Lots of stuff

There is a lot of stuff going on, all over - so what to do?
When things get too noisy you need to quiet your mind.
Remember what is important to you and focus on that and on the people that are special to you.
Put your blinders on and your earplugs in and keep your head down and stay focused on your small circle and stop thinking and listening to everybody else's problems and concerns-
 IT'S JUST NOISE !
Why crowd your mind with somebody else's dirty laundry- life is tough enough- that said life is still a wonderful ride. Look around - smile- be positive and try to help someone today.
It's a wonderful ride - quiet your mind !

Persistence

There was a farmer who owned an old mule and one day that mule fell into a dried out, abandoned water well. After assessing the situation carefully, the farmer reluctantly concluded that neither the mule nor the well was worth saving. He wasn’t happy about it, but what else could he do?

For the mule, the future’s not looking very hopeful

So, the farmer called his neighbors together and enlisted them to help him bury the old mule right there in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially the old mule was frantic, but as the dirt kept hitting his back, something happened. It dawned on the mule that every time a shovel load landed on his back, he should shake it off and step up! And that’s exactly what he did. Blow after blow that old mule would shake off the dirt and step up…shake it off and step up.

Persistence might just save the day!

No matter how painful the blows or how distressing the situation, the old mule fought the urge to panic and just kept right on shaking off the dirt and stepping up! It took awhile, but eventually his persistence began to pay of because with each step he was moving up ever so slightly.

Before long, the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly through the mouth of that well. What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him…all because of how he demonstrated persistence in the face of adversity.

When things start to look hopeless, choose persistence!

Such is life. If we face our problems and respond to them positively, refusing to surrender to panic, bitterness, or self-pity, the adversities that come along to bury us usually possess the potential to benefit us, but it’s only through persistence that we can realize that potential.

More on Mindset

6. Not staying present in the moment. If you’re always thinking of where you need to be next instead of staying in the moment, you lose out on precious time and valuable lessons. A constant forward push isn’t sustainable in the long term. It burns people out and will lead to low morale and low energy. Give everyone a chance to slow down and experience what’s happening now.

7. Expecting others to do what you’re unwilling to do. How many of us have encountered leaders with a mindset of entitlement—that things need to be about what others can do for them rather than how they can serve others? Entitlement is a dangerous mindset, one that disempowers and alienates people. If you want great people to stick around to serve you, you need to serve them.

8. Becoming so obsessed with details that you lose the big picture. There are always details that need legitimate attention. But great leaders know that to get bogged down in all the details and minutia is a waste of time, energy and productivity. Getting stuck in the details will cost you big-picture success.

9. Isolating yourself from others. Some leaders actually believe that leadership means immersing yourself in process and procedures instead of being among people. The mindset that a leader can’t let others too close is one of the most dangerous I have observed. Leadership is all about engagement and empowering others, and you simply cannot do it in isolation. Leaders need people and people need leaders.

 10. Having different sets of rules. The mindset that you can have one set of rules for yourself and another set for everyone else is disturbing and goes against the principles of service and recognition that leadership should be based on. It leads to disdain and disrespect.

 11. Holding an all-or-nothing orientation. Failing to recognize nuance and shades of gray leads to bias and distorted thinking. We need leaders who are flexible and agile, unafraid of what might go wrong and positive about what could go right. All or nothing is a dangerous and damaging proposition.

 12. Believing that you have to do everything yourself. You probably became a leader because you’re really good at what you do, but the truth is you never have to do everything alone. Great leaders delegate—which not only helps them but involves other people.

Mindset

Mindset is everything, and learning to control it is a key to fulfilling your potential..

Here are some of the damaging mindsets I have seen in leaders.

 Don’t let them stand in your way:

 1. Seeing the glass as half empty. Many leaders are guilty of this mindset. Some think that if they point out the bad, that will get people to improve—but we know a negative attitude will never lead to positive results. Nothing will slow your progress like a negative mindset.

 2. Thinking you know people better than you do. There is a danger in labeling people and putting them into a box when you haven’t had a chance to take in their complexity. How can you truly get to know people if your mindset has already told you who they are? Give people a chance to reveal, and sometimes surprise you with, who they are really are.

 3. Believing that perfect is a goal. Perfection doesn’t exist and perfect can never be a goal. When you aim to be perfect, you’re setting yourself up for failure—either by paralyzing yourself into inaction or by endlessly trying to reach an unreachable goal. Set perfectionism aside and focus on excellence.

 4. Thinking that you never need to rest. I know leaders who take pride in being constantly on. But we all need some time off, opportunities to shut down for a while. It is impossible to keep going 24/7 and still be the best you can be. You may think you can do everything and be everywhere, but really you can’t. Get some rest.

 5. Assuming that you accomplished great things alone. Anytime you think you’ve achieved something by yourself, you’re failing to give someone else the credit they deserve. There is no success on a team without the efforts of others, and when you as the leader take all the credit, it costs you respect. Make your language always US and WE, not ME and I.

More tomorrow

God Bless America

I am writing this post before knowing the results of our Presidential election.
No matter who wins I sincerely hope that as a nation we begin healing and working together, especially in the Senate and in Congress !-
 They need to set the examples on having good honest discussions and finding a way to compromise and move forward.
America is better than what we have shown the world- we need to stop being obstructiveness and start doing things again- we can do it and we need to start sooner rather than later because we have some major issues to tackle and we need each other.
Having a two party system is important - we need to have different opinions and points of views and then we need to be able to talk to each other and learn from the other person's points of view and come to a middle ground.
If our politicians are always in reelection mode we will get nothing done.
I truly hope we find a way.

God Bless America

Know When to Take Charge and Back Out

Know When to Take Charge and Back Out

It’s good to take charge and head forward into the battle, but you’re not wise when you don’t know when the right time to back out is and when you should just leave things. When you’re working together as a team, you’re involving several heads in the same task and each one has their own ideas and approaches. Accept when someone comes with a better idea or is just better than you at a particular skill set. You might not always have all the answers, but just by enhancing their perspective and learning from your experiences, you can inspire others as well.

Great leaders exhibit their experience, accomplishments, and intelligence in their work by showing humility.

 They do not go around telling everyone repeatedly about themselves.

 What makes a good leader different? -Not the types who like to progress by pulling the legs of others to make them fall down and lag behind.
By communicating with everyone and letting them know their importance, you are also signifying that you’re open to discussions and always willing to listen and accept when you’re wrong as well.

Thankful people and success

So, what exactly is it about thankful people that makes them wired for success?

They have a loyal following.-

Leaders who are genuinely thankful for the talent, work ethic, and commitment of the people they lead and make a conscious commitment to show it, have a devoted following of employees and laborers who will always be willing and prepared to follow them into battle.

According to a Harvard Health Publications article that summarized the findings of several studies on gratitude, “Managers and crew chiefs who remember to say ‘thank you’ to people who work for them may find that those employees or laborers feel motivated to work harder.” Recognition is a powerful motivator that can build employee retention and increase productivity; however, a lack thereof can have an equally negative effect.

Results from a 2013 Gallup survey revealed only 45% of men and 50% of women are satisfied with the recognition they receive at work for their accomplishments.

 If an employee or laborer is putting in long hours and going beyond the call of duty to achieve your goals, but feels their extra effort is going unnoticed by you, what motivation do they have to maintain that level of work?

Do the Right Thing

The “Keep it Simple” approach is good for many situations, but keeping it simple will set you up for failure in ethics. Using an oversimplified approach to solving a complex ethical problem just means you leave out variables you should be considering.
5 Reasons a “Do the Right Thing” Message Isn’t Enough

1. Nobody knows what it means
2. Even though it is positive, it is too vague to direct good choices
3. Everyone defines it differently, and acts on their definition
4. Unless you painstakingly define what you mean by “do the right thing,” there is no common understanding of ethical expectations across the organization
5. A vague definition can be used to justify unethical choices that “seem right” when you’re not using an ethical framework

“Do the Right Thing” is a wonderful starting point, but we need to define it in great detail. Otherwise, people will do whatever THEY think is the right thing, and that could pull your organization off course.
Ethical leaders don’t just ask people to “do the right thing.” They share examples of people who have done the right thing. They explain ethical performance standards that define “the right thing” and bring it to life in discussions about how to handle competing interests. This approach keeps everyone headed in the same positive direction.

10 ways to be a leader people choose to follow:

10 ways to be a leader people choose to follow:

When asked a group to talk about the qualities of people they have gladly followed. Here’s a sampling of their responses.

1. He saw things in me I didn’t see in myself.
2. She cared about people and ran a tight ship.
3. I was confident she had my back.
4. He had competencies I aspired to gain.
5. She’s always pressing forward.
6. She gave me opportunities to talk.
7. She was humble.
8. He expected a lot out of me and himself. He walked the talk.
9. He’s passionate to learn.
10. They have good character. (Everyone nodded when character came up.)

10 leaders people choose not to follow:

10 leaders people choose not to follow:

1. Tippy-toe leaders who live by fear.
2. Hand-holding leaders who coddle rather than challenge.
3. Finger-pointing leaders who never take responsibility.
4. Face-saving leaders who protect their image at the expense of others.
5. Butt-kissing leaders who change their behavior when top brass is around.
6. Truth-shading leaders who bend the facts for personal advantage.
7. Dark-cloud leaders who only see problems.
8. Big-boss leaders who love telling people what to do.
9. Glory-hound leaders who love praise and steal credit.
10. Motor-mouth leaders who love the sound of their own voice.

Take a quick check in the mirror

Communication Goal: Developing new behaviors that open up lines of communication instead of shutting them down.

Listening Goal: Managing the tendency to provide solutions rather than ask open-ended questions from a curiosity perspective to promote self problem solving.

Executive Presence Goal: Learning how to manage emotions to increase confidence, credibility, communication, conciseness, and composure.

A quick check in the mirror is a good first step toward identifying and altering leadership behaviors that might be holding you back.

Get going in the right direction.

Man in the mirror...
 

I’m gonna make a change, for once in my life
It’s gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right...

As I turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin’ my mind
I see the kids in the street, with not enough to eat
Who am I, to be blind? Pretending not to see their needs
A summer’s disregard, a broken bottle top
And a one man’s soul
They follow each other on the wind ya’ know
’Cause they got nowhere to go
That’s why I want you to know

I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change