Tare you down

Why do people feel the need to tare others down in order to build themselves up ?

I see it in business and in politics.

You should be able to rise on your own merit and ideas.
I feel uneasy when people are dogging other people to me, it shows me a lack of respect for one and for two if they are doing that to me about others they are probably going to be doing to others about me.

Trying to smear others shows weakness - if you have something to say about someone you should be able to say with them in the same room- if you can't then don't say it.

I get it- I know that fear sells- it has worked all through history. Yell louder and get them scared and they will fall in line and follow you. It works but it never holds- sooner or later it is a house of cards.

Build yourself up, work on your abilities and your worth- accent the positive.
You will have sustainability and in the end you will feel better about yourself and your accomplishments.

Rise on others shoulders by them picking you up not by stepping on them.

R -U- HIGH MAINTENENCE ?

Here are more signs that you may be high maintenance  ?

Do you .....?..

5. Avoid Accountability

You may take responsibility to do the work, but taking ownership of the results is only accepted when it is successful.
Tip: When you are clearly wrong or unsuccessful, accept that it’s your fault, provide a solution, and fix it or apologize.

6. Limit Growth

You refuse to grow and learn to raise your level of contribution. Organizations look for employees / drivers that continually add value and have potential.
 Tip: Show that you are future-focused, and you are investing to build your personal value.

7. Minimize Contribution

You believe providing support to other’s success is a burden. You are self-centered and often are looking for the easy way out.
 Tip: Realize that you gain power and support when you contribute to the successes of others, if not immediately, then in the long run.

8. Avoid Being a Team Player

You yearn for individual praise and appreciation over the team recognition. Somehow, you feel threatened if you are not singled out for the work that you have done.
 Tip: Follow President Harry Truman’s practice and belief, “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”

9. Create Problems

You don’t leave your personal life and issues outside your work. It could be the reason why your work performance is suffering and you lack focus. You find yourself playing more of the blame game than the solution game.
 Tip: Start with the assumption that you are the problem and you need to fix the issues outside of work, so that you can perform inside of work.

Are You High Maintence ?

Are you high maintenance ?

Here are some signs that say you might be- 

Do you?..

 

1. Complain

You spend more time grumbling than contributing. Everything is wrong according to you, and you do little to find solutions. If it does not favor you, then you complain endlessly about it. You either are the problem or are extra fuel for the fire to keep the problem burning.
Tip: Keep negativity to a minimum. If you have to vent, do so outside of social media and the office personal.

2. Shirk Ownership  

The problems always seem to be others’ problems and not yours. You don’t believe that you can do anything wrong, and even when a problem arises in the office, you don’t want to take part in resolving it. You leave it to others to handle it and work it out.
 Tip: Look for one problem to solve as your opportunity to shine by owning a solution.

3. You are Avoided  

People make it a point to avoid you or even exclude you from events or discussions. Of course, nobody wants to be around someone who is clueless, selfish and/or difficult. Hence, you will find yourself out of the loop.
Tip: Look for these signs to help you address your self-evaluation of the trouble you might be in or heading toward.

4. Job Hunt

You spend more time looking for another job than doing your own job. This is not surprising as you consider that nothing is good enough where you currently are. You feel that another job could be what you need.
Tip: Look closer at the opportunities you have !

The rest tomorrow-

Giving Thanks

What do you have to be Thankful for ?

Do you have someone that stands by you and makes you a better person?
Be sure to thank them.

Do you have good health and does your spouse or loved one have good health.
Be very thankful..the rest is just noise.

Do you have a job where you are appreciated ?
Say thanks.

Do you have opportunities to grow and get better?
Be thankful we live in a country that provides that opportunity.

Do you have friends that you enjoy being with and make you laugh.
Remember to give back and be there for them and always say thanks.

There are a host of things that you can be thankful for.
Take today to just accent the positive and to say thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving !!...

And THANK YOU !

Branded

Why do we want to Brand ourselves?

Rather it's a sports team or political affiliation or jewelry or tattoos- why do we feel the need to brand ourselves?
Is it to feel like we belong?
Is there comfort in numbers?

I am to blame too, I felt the need to wear MY teams colors and I was going to a game I had to have the jersey, hat etc. and I would get angry and yell at the OTHER guys.

People feel the need to literally wear their heart on their sleeve or neck or arms or all of them.
Tattoos are more popular then ever- people branded themselves for live
For what?
To show their toughness? To yell what they believe to others?

Many years ago people were tattooed in concentration camps because they were prisoners.
Are we really prisoners? Are we keeping our real emotion inside as prisoners or our fear from wanting to belong.

Why do feel the need to shout our beliefs either by voice or our clothing and/or tattoos- and if others do not conform we get angry and rebel.
Why do OUR beliefs trump the other guys?

Why do need to be branded? Are you not more free if you do not brand yourself?

Where you going ?

Children

That is the one word that I can think of to sum up the political atmosphere- CHILDREN-

When in the wake of the terrorist acts that we are in the middle of I hear our President chastising Republicans rather then addressing the issue and the moment I think CHILDREN.
Then when I hear the Republicans retaliate with let him come " tell him to come tell that to my face " I think CHIDREN.
I watch the debates and observe one talk about the other's face or stature or looks and scratch my head. These are suppose to be the best and the brightest? They want to LEAD?

It is all school yard stuff- we need adults.

Focus people...what are our goals? Who is the enemy ?

I am beginning to think that America can no longer do BIG things. That we are more interested in tabloid politics than actually fixing the problems.
Reality TV can be entertaining but not on our real life and with our so called leaders.

Unfortunately I see this spilling over to business and how we treat each other. I like him, I don't like him or her, I hate this person , decisions are made more out of spite or revenge than for the betterment of the job or the business. - Children-

I do not know if we have gone to far, I guess only time will tell. I only know that in order to learn or grow or do accomplish great things people need to put aside their differences and do what is best for what is staring them in the face at that particular time. Difference of opinions are fine and needed but you must be able to hear the other side to come to a understanding  and most important you must respect one another.

Grow up.

Trust

Trust has three pillars-

There have been some fine academic arguments as to what inspires trust in others. Thankfully, Burke and his research team summarized a thirty year debate concluding that all models of trust could be boiled down to three pillars:

1. Ability
2. Integrity
3. Benevolence

The pillar of ability refers to our professional competence to fulfill the core task of leadership; delivering results. You can be as nice as you want and honest and caring, but if you keep letting me down in terms of delivery, your trustworthiness will be shot.

The second pillar of integrity refers to the extent to which we ‘walk the talk’. We need to be reliable in our behaviors and consistently live up to the values and standards we have set for ourselves and the organization.

The third pillar of benevolence refers to our concern for the well-being of others. We show our good wishes to others through care, generosity and kindness.

As another of the CEOs I interviewed put it, “The most powerful destroyer of trust is when you feel the other person is acting in their own best interest and not in yours”.

Take Notice

Being a good noticer builds morale.

 Being valued, understood, and appreciated is a basic human need, but unfortunately, too many leaders forget their people are actually human.

They view people as utilitarian resources performing a specific job function and treat them as interchangeable parts.

 But taking time to notice people lifts their spirits. A well-timed praising, note of thanks, or even just a personal conversation can turn around a person’s day.

Noticing people also builds trust.

It shows your people that you care about them as individuals and not just as workers showing up to do a job. Everyone has a story and good leaders take the time to learn the stories of their team members. I’m not talking about hugging everyone and singing Kumbaya, but simply building relationships.

 Asking about their kids, getting their input on new ideas, or eating lunch in the break room with your team members every once in a while.

With the trust of your team you can reach new heights, but without it you’re dead in the water.

Do What You Say..

1962

This Was the Year…1962
U.S. President & Vice President
John F. Kennedy

The Vice President

Lyndon Johnson
Time Magazine Person Of The Year


Pope John XXIII

Cost of Living Cost of Food
New House $12,550 Granulated Sugar $ .89 for 10 lbs.

Average Income $ 4,291 Milk $ 1.04per gallon

New Car $ 2,924 Ground Coffee $ .85 per pound

Gallon of Gas $ .27 Bacon $ .69 per pound

Movie Ticket $ 1.00 Eggs $ .32 per dozen

National and World News
 Marilyn Monroe died from an overdose of sleeping pills
 The first Wal-Mart® opened in Bentonville, AR.


 John Glenn, Jr. became the first American to orbit the Earth.

 The U.S. Navy Seals were established.
Popular TV Shows Music

Candid Camera Big Girls Don’t Cry

Bonanza Duke of Earl

The Danny Thomas Show Johnny Angel

Sports Champions
 New York Yankees (baseball)

 Green Bay Packers & Kansas City Chiefs (football)

 Roger Ward (Indianapolis 500)

 Toronto Maple Leafs (hockey)

 Boston Celtics (NBA)

 Decidedly (Kentucky Derby)

Wait...

Something bothering you ? Something getting you angry? Did somebody push your buttons?

WAIT...DO NOT SEND OFF THAT EMAIL.

Email can be a wonderful tool but if you use it to vent or let your anger out it can be quite the opposite.
Sometimes just for therapy I would type a response and then minimize it and come back to it in a few hours and if I was being too reactionary I would end up re reading it and either change the text or just delete it all together.

It is too easy to send a scorching email and most times all it will do is fan the flames and in some cases burn bridges that may be very difficult to repair.
And what did you actually accomplish?

I find that sometimes, actually most times, the least said the better.

6 more ways to rise after being thrown under the bus:

7-Talk things over with someone outside your organization. The goal is working on yourself, not others.

 

8-Reflect. What are you learning about yourself? People who hurt us, help us, when we learn.

 

9-Grow. How might this situation make you a stronger leader? Humility and grit are born in adversity.

 

10-Stand up for your ideas. Give information without sounding defensive. Let performance speak for itself.

 

11-Find ways to highlight your great work. Publicly thank teammates who help move your projects forward, for example.

 

12-Proactively build strong relationships. Being thrown under the bus requires an audience. Make sure you have great relationships with the audience.

 

Being called to live up to expectations isn’t being thrown under the bus.

How might leaders, drivers , laborers, crew chiefs and employees deal with being thrown under the bus?

12 ways to rise after being thrown under the bus:

12 ways to rise after being thrown under the bus:

1-Keep delivering great results. Don’t throw yourself under the bus by pulling back.

2-Prepare for the next time. Examine the patterns of being thrown under the bus. What do you want to do when it happens again? Who do you want to be?

3-Don’t complain to the boss about others, unless there are ethical issues.

4-Determine what you want. Clinging to past offenses obscures positive outcomes. Aim for positive outcomes for yourself, others, and your organization.

5-Maintain civility. Bad behavior from others is no excuse for bad manners from you.

6-Don’t take it personally. (Well, do your best.) Taking it personally clouds your judgment, deflates your spirit, and may open the door to revenge.

6 more tomorrow-

Three Simple Rules

Give Control

Give Control-

 Humans love having control over what they are doing. If they feel too micromanaged, or that they don’t have enough autonomy then it can have a negative effect on efficiency and effectiveness. It can also lead to disengagement.

This means that you have the opportunity to creatively find ways to give control to people at work or on the job.

Giving control to others is easier to do when you are more deeply connected to them. You can choose to delegate, mentor, coach, shadow or even give people projects to run with.

 We know that changes occur when someone is actually doing a task rather than just thinking about it.
 Give control, hand over the reins when possible- you can always check in but let them do what they can do.

Give them the power.

Connect

Connect

 We are wired for interpersonal attachments. It is a fundamental human motivation and is incredibly powerful. We work best as humans (as well as employees) when we have frequent interactions with people with whom we have an ongoing bond.

Belonging somewhere has multiple strong effects on emotional patterns and cognitive processes. A lack of attachment causes pain, increases our perception of stress, impairs cognitive functioning and can interfere with the immune response.

As a leader, boss or friend you have a opportunity to be a role model in building real and valuable relationships.

 Consider being open, honest and transparent in your interactions with people.
 Rather than sharing just the bear minimum, share deeply.

Veteran's Day

Veteran's Day is a Day for Gratitude

On November 11th, people from all over the United States will stop to recognize the men and women who currently serve or have served in our armed forces.
People that served with pride , loyalty and courage.
If you know a Vet please be sure to take the time to just say " Thank you ".
It will go a long way.

Every person is different

Is there one best way to coach or teach or lead? Yes.

 It’s the way that works best for the person you are coaching.
A scripted approach will never work as well as being fully present and listening deeply.

  Every person is different. Pay attention and respond accordingly. That’s the model that works.

This is THE most important rule or tip or piece of advice as to how to be a boss or train or be a leader and how to be a good co worker and team player.
Every person has a skill or something they may be good at - it is up to you to find it.
Everyone has a button that if pushed they will resist or shut down- pay attention and try to avoid it.
Do not try to hammer a square into a round hole !

From a fellow driver

Take The Blame

When something goes wrong, openly acknowledge it as your fault, even if you feel there were external circumstances that contributed.

If you shift responsibility to someone or something else, you will remain stuck in a rut because “it’s ____’s fault!”

It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. When you shift responsibility, you give up control of the situation.

Don’t be afraid to take risks or make important decisions. Don’t be afraid to mess up, even though it can be “scary” to take responsibility for your actions. It’s even scarier what you may have missed by acting out of fear.

So, when there is a problem, don’t ask yourself who is to blame. Instead, ask yourself: “What could I have done differently?”

This shifts the focus onto your control of the situation instead of feeling like a victim.

George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.


Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.


People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.


When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

What would I do if I weren’t afraid?

What would I do if I weren’t afraid?

Here is why I love it so much: it is the ultimate coaching question. Because it cuts right to the fact that most of us are afraid most of the time. Afraid we don’t have enough information. Afraid we don’t have enough education. Afraid we aren’t smart enough, creative enough, or simply enough.
Afraid we haven’t gotten enough advice, or the right advice, or advice from the best person.

Afraid we will make the wrong decision. Afraid we will make the right decision but our boss won’t like it, or our people won’t accept it. Afraid that our mother, sister, father, or spouse will laugh at us.

. There is so much to be afraid of—big things and little things; rational things and absurd things. But, as leaders, we can’t let this stop us because mostly, we make decisions.

So the next time you aren’t sure, and you are thinking of asking someone what you should do, stop and ask yourself  " What would you do if you were not afraid?" See what your answer is.

Insecurity

Insecurities is a huge reason that people react the way they do.

Most times we react because of what may have happened to us in the past. In your growing up years you may have been laughed at or overlooked, beat up or ignored. It all becomes our make up, our DNA if you would.
As we grow older we think we outgrow things or brush them away but they seem to always bubble up. People get defensive or angry where at times you would think it should be such a big deal, but they are actually reacting to something else, something in their past.

People become insecure because of fear also- fear that they may lose their job or fear that someone may get work that they think they deserve..all things really out their control for the most part.
What happens is they make their fears come true when they act on their insecurities rather then just doing their job and blocking the rest out.

Insecurity grows out of not preparing properly too, not doing your homework and accepting responsibility. When something goes wrong they are quick to point the finger and yell. It is a huge smoke screen that says - hey, don't look at me. They know deep down that they could have help prevent the situation so they try to deflect .

What happens too is through insecurities if and when people know that they may be at fault they then try to turn others to their point of view, assuming their is comfort in a crowd. The funny thing is the people that they are trying to win over with their argument probably do not even care. So they fan the flames and agree and egg them on.

Being insecure is deep rooted and can hurt and hold you back.

There is no easy answer- just try to think back on situations as they occur and ask yourself- just how big a deal is it- are you making it bigger then it should be to deflect or cover up the past?
You may be reacting because of either or both and are not even be aware.

When you have time reflect back..live and learn. That is what life is all about.

Three Sides

WHY

Why did you choose the Moving Business ?

One of our drivers once said he did not choose the moving business- IT CHOSE HIM.

Here are some comments on WHY -

-I am a mover and I am proud to be a mover- I love moving ! It is more then a job for me, moving is a life style that I choose to live.

- I was conceived on a move, my dad was a mover. My oldest was conceived on a move between LA and Miami.

-I love moving because it is who I am. I found a profession that accepted me as a young guy. When all the other opportunities I chased shut the doors with a resounding boom. I've seen this whole country many times over and got paid to do it. Have been in the most beautiful homes on earth. Met some of the greatest and the some of the weirdest people. And I've made a good income, been able to give my children the things they want and need. I am a Mover.

- It is always something different every day.

- FREEDOM

- I enjoy meeting different families and how they live.. being able to turn peoples bad experiences into good ones..and in fact I am getting paid while I get a good workout in.

Why did YOU choose the Moving business ?

Are you a Boss or a Leader ?

Bosses demand respect / Leaders earn respect — Bosses believe others should respect and follow them because of their position. They believe the title of boss demands instant respect. Leaders, on the other hand, know they have to earn the respect of others. They know their walk has to match their talk and their consistent behavior will garner respect from those they lead.

Bosses require compliance / Leaders invite collaboration — Bosses don’t really care what you think or feel, just as long as you do what you’re told, when you’re told, and how you’re told to do it. Leaders understand you have to manage the whole person; their heart, head, and hands. Leaders invite collaboration by soliciting input, listening to concerns, and incorporating team member feedback into decisions and plans.

Bosses focus only on results / Leaders focus on people and results — Bosses tend to have a win-lose mentality. Nothing else matters except the final score on the scoreboard. Leaders value results just as much as bosses, but they don’t sacrifice their people in order to achieve them. Leaders know people are the path to results and they treat them as valuable resources needed to accomplish the mission.

Bosses are concerned with looking good / Leaders are concerned with giving credit to others — You’ll often hear bosses use “I” or “me” language when describing their team’s accomplishments. They like the spotlight and aren’t afraid to take the credit for their team’s performance. Leaders are the opposite. You’ll hear them say “we” and “us” when referring to the team’s achievements. They deflect the spotlight and shine it on their team members instead.

Bosses push people / Leaders lead — It sounds rather simplistic but it’s true. Bosses stand behind the team, barking out instructions and pushing them to move forward. Bosses say “Do as I say.” Leaders are out front saying “follow me” as they work together with their team members to achieve the goal. Leaders say “Do as I do.”

Losing

There is a lot to say about being a gracious winner and a graceful loser, a balance that few seem to really have.
Parenting can be difficult, but the process has had its ups and downs.
  Coaches, teachers, psychologist and mentors around the world believe that sports, games, and the like add to a child’s psychological well-being as much as their mind and body.
 Whether you agree with that idea or not, we can all agree that there are two major parts to playing anything competitive, winners and losers.
 I believe with my whole being that losing provides more than just a second place ribbon; it builds more character than winning ever could.  Losing provides life skills that prepare one for the unexpected, and at times, cruel world.

Life is not an Oprah Winfrey show, everyone doesn’t get something.
  Parents need to encourage their children during times of defeat, not foster a sense of entitlement.  So how does one implement these skills, standards of life, into a child’s heart and mind?  It is not rocket science and it’s done every day.  The very first step is called role modeling.

How you handle YOURself when given the proverbial lemons of life, is instrumental in how your child sees the same situation.

 If you blame everyone else on your loss and don’t take stock on how you could have improved the outcome, then you are a poor role model.

  Let your child see you practice, let them see you study and read, let them witness you overcome.  A child becomes what they see, and if they see hard work and discipline, then the expectation is instinctive.