Last post on the fundamentals of listening

5. Summarizing – Summarizing is the skill of being able to concisely recap what the speaker said over a longer period of time. The exact words aren’t as important as capturing the key ideas, feelings, or action items that were shared. It can help to take notes, summarize periodically throughout the conversation, and to follow the order and sequence of information shared by the speaker.

Don’t act like a parrot and repeat the exact words shared or add your own conclusions to the summary.


These five fundamentals may seem like no-brainers, but the truth is that most leaders don’t do them very well, or even at all.
 Just like a professional athlete continuously practices the fundamentals of his/her sport, leaders should continually practice these fundamentals of listening.

More on Listening

3. Reflecting Feelings – Reflecting feelings is the skill of capturing the speaker’s feelings and restating them in nonjudgmental terms. It demonstrates to the speaker that you are aware of the emotion behind the content of what is being shared.
Using phrases such as “It sounds like you’re really _______” (frustrated, angry, sad, etc.) or “I can sense your _______ (apprehension, anxiety, pride, etc.)” indicates you are empathizing with the speaker which allows him/her to trust you more and share more information.


4. Paraphrasing – Paraphrasing demonstrates that you heard and understand what was being shared. The basics of paraphrasing include restating key words or phrases, following the speaker’s sequence, listening to understand, and showing empathy.

You don’t want to robotically repeat what the speaker said verbatim, twist the speaker’s words, or prejudge the situation.

The Five Fundamentals of Listening

The Five Fundamentals of Effective Listening

1. Attending to Nonverbal Behaviors – Your nonverbal behaviors tell the speaker you are either interested and comprehending what is being said or you are disinterested and would rather be somewhere else. Are you smiling and nodding in understanding or are you yawning, scowling, or staring the person down?

Is your body position leaning in to the conversation to show you are engaged or are you leaning back with your arms folded indicating you’re feeling defensive?

 Your body language should communicate “Go ahead, I care, I’m listening.”

2. Asking Questions – The best leaders ask questions – lots of them.
 But not all questions are created equal and different types of questions serve different purposes. Open-ended questions encourage the speaker to share more information and go deeper in the conversation. Clarifying questions help you understand the full context of what is being shared whereas prompting questions encourage the speaker to reflect deeper on their own thoughts.

 Close-ended questions allow you to limit the conversation or find out specific information and leading questions allow you to bring the conversation to a close.

Listening

Think of the best boss you’ve ever had. What was it about that person that made him or her your best boss? Did you trust them? Probably. Did they care about you? Very likely. Was he or she a great listener? Almost certainly.

Listening is one of the most underrated and unappreciated leadership skills. Many leaders don’t put any intentional effort into how they listen to their people. They just assume “it happens.” I mean, come on, right? You have ears…the other person talks…you listen…then reply with what you want to say because usually that’s more important than what the other person has to say anyway, right? Wrong.

Being an effective listener is one of the quickest ways to build trust with your people. People trust leaders who take the time to hear their ideas and empathize with their concerns. It’s also one of the best opportunities to learn what’s going on in your business and influence the activities of your team members. You can’t know what’s happening on the front lines unless you ask questions and listen to the responses.

Becoming a good listener doesn’t happen by accident. It takes time and effort to listen effectively, and in order to become a great listener, you have to practice the five fundamentals of listening.

Check in tomorrow and the next few days for the Five fundamentals..

To Lead

Healthy Leadership Qualities

1. The True Measure of Leadership is Influence-Nothing More, Nothing Less
2. Leadership Develops Daily, Not in a Day
3. Anyone Can Steer the Ship, But It Takes a Leader to Chart the Course
4. When the Real Leader Speaks, People Listen
5. Trust is the Foundation of Leadership
6. People Naturally Follow Leaders Stronger Than Themselves
7. Leaders evaluate everything with a leadership Bias
8. Who you are Is Who You Attract
9. Leaders Touch a Heart Before They Ask for a Hand
10. A leader's Potential Is Determined by Those Closest to Him
11. Only Secure Leaders Give Power to Others
12. It takes a leader to Raise Up a Leader
13. People buy Into the Leader, Then the Vision
14. Leaders Find a Way for the Team to Win
15. Momentum is a leader's best friend
16. Leaders understand that Activity is not Necessarily Accomplishment
17. A Leader Must Give Up to Go Up
18. When to lead is as Important As What to Do and Where to Go

Why do Haters Hate?

There will always be people in your life, both personal and business, that live to hate.

Why?

I am sure that if you ever have the ability to sit and actually talk to them , and they are honest with themselves you will probably find that they were either hurt by someone in the past or are just plain unhappy with their life or situation.

I go back to " Hurt People- Hurt People"
They are hurting so they lash out or they have a hard time watching someone else be happy because quite frankly they are not.

I do not understand , and probably never will, why if you only have so much time in the course of a day or for that matter here on earth that you choose to use it in a negative.

And make no bones about it- it is a CHOICE-
each day you have the power and the choice to make it what you want.
Do you prefer to try to smile and to try to help someone or do you choose to pull people down, to gossip and use your time in a negative?

There will always be haters- you need to work with them, talk to them so what do you do.
Do not play in their sandbox- let them talk to talk, listen politely and move on.
You do not have to participate in the hate or the gossip-
Use your time as a positive!

If you can help them see the other side fine, it can worth a try- otherwise do not allow their problems to become YOUR problems.

CHOOSE

More on what your help want from you..

Compassion-

Things happen in life and sometimes there is no way around it. If one of your employees comes to you with a problem, take the time to listen and try to figure out a course of action to solve the problem together.
If you put yourself in their shoes, you might understand their point of view better. Try to be compassionate with your employees, because compassion goes a long way to building trust, communication and devoted employees.


Be Passionate-

If you are passionate about the work and the business, it will rub off on your employees. If you make what you and your team doing important and valued, they will respond positively.

Open Lines of Communication-

Employees want a leader that can talk to them and understand their situation. Not only do open lines of communications foster an honest and creative environment, it also fosters trust and teamwork.
An employee should never be afraid to approach you with something. You take the time to listen — really listen (no calls, no emails). The communication works both ways. Once your employees talk to you, you can talk to them open and honestly.